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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving baby alone in car

223 replies

monkeyfeet · 09/01/2011 08:50

Last night I was walking through retail centre carpark with my son and saw a car with a baby asleep in a child seat in the back of the car. I had a look around there was no one about ant the car was a fair way from the shops so i tried doors they were locked. I didnt have my mobile phone on me so went into the nearest shop and told the manager to phone the police or make an announcement, so we went out again to get the registration and confirm the car was still there it was. Then we went back into the shop to phone I decided i would go back out and see if anyone showed up but by this time I saw the car driving away. All of this was over the course of about 15 mins no one had been keeping an eye on the car or they would have seen me trying to get in the store manager trying to get in and come over. It was freezing outside and the baby looked to be about 6 months old.

So the store manager decided not to ring the police as they had gone but when i got home I rang the non emergency line to make a report. Hopefully it was someone being thoughtless and not negligent and a visit from the polce could make them understand what is not appropriate.

But AIBU to report this to the police?

OP posts:
tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 14:52

Because if the car was hit when you were driving you'd be with your child and able to assist/comfort them. That seems fairly obvious to me.

No time to look for stats now but I used to work in insurance and know accidents to parked vehicles very common.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 15:05

It just seems unnecessary to me. I don't think it's crime of the century but I've never really felt the need.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 10/01/2011 15:11

Exactly altinkum. You're hardly far away if you've popped into the garage for a pint of semi skimmed. If a car hit my car I would drop everything and sprint back, which would take about 5 seconds at the most and I'd probably be in a better condition to help her than if I was crushed in the front seat. Seems an odd logic to me.

claireybear82 · 10/01/2011 15:13

am just wondering what u were planning on doing if the car HAD been open?

BuzzLightBeer · 10/01/2011 15:15

I've witnessed a child being hit by a car on a petrol forecourt, but I have never witnessed a car getting hit by another in the same place. Which is one reason why I leave them in the car. Another is because I can't be arsed.

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 15:17

You wouldn't be crushed in the front seat as neither of you would be in there. It's your logic that's flawed as you seem to be equating leaving the car on foot with your dc, with an additional car journey. I don't mind if you consider it to be an acceptable risk but I'm slightly surprised you can't correctly assess the scenarios.

BuzzLightBeer · 10/01/2011 15:17

thankfully at low speed and very minor injury, I should add.

Thanks Chickens Grin

cobbledtogether · 10/01/2011 15:46

Seeker - worry not, they are attached to me at all times by elastic.

I just don't understand parents who can't see their children at all times. Its difficult, but not impossible to fit the whole family into the loo when I need a wee and I think its worth the effort to ensure their safety.

Sure, there are things I'd rather do than sit in their room with them while they play with their nice, soft toys with no small parts, to ensure their safety. However one must do what one can. They mostly sit quietly strapped down while I cook as I'd hate for them to come in the kitchen and get hurt.

OK it is a bit tricky to wrangle two small children over a busy petrol forecourt into the shop and I'm sure the fumes, moving vehicles and potential threat of abduction from the other customers are all risks, but I couldn't possibly leave them in the car for 5 minutes. They may explode or worse, be targeted by the Petrol Forecourt Paedophiles that I read about in the Daily Mail.

School is just another cross I have to bear. Did you know that the teachers can't watch every single child all of the time when they are outside in the yard? Despicable.

Anyhoo - must get off. They are bored of being strapped to my legs while I sit and type this, so I'd best be off.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 15:52

Er... No, you are quite simply wrong in your logic.

I could break it down step by step but I rather think you would still choose to ignore it. Your choice. Just irritates me when people use flawed logic to back up their opinion.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuzzLightBeer · 10/01/2011 16:08

Grin at logic fights. Will I set yiz a little puzzle to see who wins?
"there are 2 metal rods in an empty room, one is a magnet. how do you figure our which is the magnet?"

altinkum · 10/01/2011 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 16:22

Altinkum, if no-one is in the car, no-one can be injured in our hypothetical impact scenario. Therefore, 0 risk from impact. The car positioning etc and your own possibility of being injured and unable to assist is irrelevant as nobody is in the car.

Can you really not get that?

altinkum · 10/01/2011 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melikalikimaka · 10/01/2011 16:24

One day I left my very active DS in the car as he was asleep,I went to the post office, it was right on the forecourt in front of it. There was a little queue, I kept checking and nothing happened.
But.... a neighbour came in behind me and said 'I saw your son in the car, I did that to my son years ago and before I knew it he was across 4 lanes of traffic!' It really shook me up, and I was immediately ashamed. He could of woken up and got out. It was a busy dual carraigeway and I dread to think it was possible. I didn't take a risk after that because I had a terrible feeling about it. I must admit I did it at petrol stations after that. I know it doesn't make sense does it?

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 16:34

Assuming you have to make this hypothetical car journey, you cannot totally evade the risk of an accident. If an accident occurs, you will be in the car and may or may not be able to help the dc.

You then park the car. You either

  1. Leave the car, taking dc with you. no risk from impact although of course you may get run over/kidnapped by aliens etc on the way to shop
  2. Leave the car, with dc in it. Either nothing bad happens (probably) or one of various bad things happens, one being our hypothetical accident. It's different because it's the introduction of an additional risk.

You may consider it an acceptable risk, fine, but it's not the same one as the accident while driving scenario.

SoupDragon · 10/01/2011 16:35

Let's not forget that your car might be attacked by Zombies.

SoupDragon · 10/01/2011 16:37

I would say that the possibility of being run over is a risk of impact Hmm. Therefore, there is an equal risk of impact with your children out of the car where they are not protected by airbags, crumple zones and a metal shell.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfTheManor · 10/01/2011 16:38

My ds is 10 months old. We live down a 300 metre driveway off an old beaten track, which is off a country lane, which is off a small road, off a main road. Basically about 12 miles from any other car. We have no neighbours (thankfully) as our house is secluded.

If I have been food shopping and my ds has fallen asleep in the back of the car, I usually get out and leave him to sleep...however I check on him every 10 minutes and after his 30 minutes are up (regardless of when he fell asleep) I wake him and bring him in.

I don't see anything wrong with this. I would never do it in public for the fear of someone snatching him or reporting me.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sheeplikessleep · 10/01/2011 16:41

I was parked up in Tesco about a month ago. Couple pulled up, got out, leaving their two kids, about 5 and 2 strapped in their car seats. The younger one, was asleep, older one left on some games console.

Anyway, the older one proceeded to reach over and really hit his (presumably) sister's head, so hard that it bounced between the two side 'head rests' of her car seat and she woke up crying. He kept doing this every few minutes. He was really quite forcefully pushing her head.

I went in and reported to customer services. I felt so helpless seeing this little girl being pushed about and it just continuing. It isn't always what is out of the car that is the danger.

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 16:45

Fair point SoupDragon! We need to compare the stats. And then factor in the probability of road-crossing. :)

Altinkum, I'm not really sure why I'm bothering to engage with you on this. So I won't any more.

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