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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving baby alone in car

223 replies

monkeyfeet · 09/01/2011 08:50

Last night I was walking through retail centre carpark with my son and saw a car with a baby asleep in a child seat in the back of the car. I had a look around there was no one about ant the car was a fair way from the shops so i tried doors they were locked. I didnt have my mobile phone on me so went into the nearest shop and told the manager to phone the police or make an announcement, so we went out again to get the registration and confirm the car was still there it was. Then we went back into the shop to phone I decided i would go back out and see if anyone showed up but by this time I saw the car driving away. All of this was over the course of about 15 mins no one had been keeping an eye on the car or they would have seen me trying to get in the store manager trying to get in and come over. It was freezing outside and the baby looked to be about 6 months old.

So the store manager decided not to ring the police as they had gone but when i got home I rang the non emergency line to make a report. Hopefully it was someone being thoughtless and not negligent and a visit from the polce could make them understand what is not appropriate.

But AIBU to report this to the police?

OP posts:
PlanetEarth · 09/01/2011 10:37

Tattydevine, I'm amazed by that Times Online excerpt - in particular, children should not be left alone in a locked car until they are 16. Why on earth would you lock your 16 year old (or 14, 12, 10 year old) in the car for even 5 minutes? Well I guess someone might abduct them if it's unlocked, but really?!

mummyosaurus · 09/01/2011 10:38

YANBU

I was walking down the street in the small town where I live, I saw a car parked in the street outside the bank, with three kids inside, a baby, and about 2 and 4 years old. The two year old had opened the back window and was leaning out backwards into the street, on the side the cars are passing by. People were looking but no one said anything. I went over and told the 2 year old to wind the window up and sit nicely until Mummy came back. He did so, looking terrified of me! and I waited across the road for 15 minutes until the harrassed looking mum came back. I didn't say anything though, but it did make me think as previously I would leave mine in the car while I ran round the corner shop, then I could see them while I queued to pay. I take them in with me now and suffer the consequences.

MissQue · 09/01/2011 10:40

I would never leave a baby alone in a car, the child may be asleep when you leave them, but they can quickly wake up and you have no idea whether they are ok or not while you are away. A lot of things can happen in the space of a few minutes, it's just not worth the risk IMO.

So, YANBU

moomaa · 09/01/2011 10:58

I think it was good of you to check but a mistake to try the doors. If the baby was sleeping what were you going to do if the door opened? Would you have lifted the baby out or touched it while it was sleeping? A bit different if it was crying but you said it was sleeping.

Going shopping for 20 minutes is wrong but I do leave mine in the car briefly occassionally. Times I can think of are when I go and buy a pay and display ticket, when I put recycling into the bins, when I take oldest DS into pre-school (set up of building is big glass front and car outside door) and when I buy petrol. With all of these I can see the car but could be distracted for a moment or two e.g. when paying petrol cashier.

If I had done that and found anyone touching my car doors I would have been running accross the car park and screeching at you. I would have been the one calling the police with your reg number!

GiddyPickle · 09/01/2011 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyPickle · 09/01/2011 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SkyBluePearl · 09/01/2011 11:16

I think leaving a small baby in a huge car park out of sight from parents is a huge no-no. I know in the states you can get into a lot of trouble for that.

I leave my kids in the car when buying petrol but feel ok as long as the car is locked, close and in full view. I think it would be more dangerous to have three small children wonder across the forcourt with me.

Greenkit · 09/01/2011 11:33

Dansmommy - If your going to leave your kids in the car while you go shopping, why take them in the first place?

Not all children under the age of 12 could deal with an approach from an adult, who could be saying, oh mummy has had an accident in the shop you need to come with me.... Hummm what then??

usualsuspect · 09/01/2011 11:39

While leaving a baby or young child alone in a car for long periods is unacceptable...I would happily leave an older child for a few minutes especially a 12 year old

BuzzLightBeer · 09/01/2011 11:43

Not all children perhaps, but I know my children. You can staple yours to your side until they are 21 if you like, I will be sensible and work around how my children are. And I will leave them in the car as and when I see fit.

This modern hysteria about child-saftey is completely out of proportion to actual dangers, and is certainly not good for our children.

taintedpaint · 09/01/2011 12:06

borderslass, that footballer was charged (see here). Shocking that it happened.

OP, YANBU at all. Well done for doing what you did.

FabbyChic · 09/01/2011 12:07

What irresponsible parents, well done for reporting it.

Dansmommy · 09/01/2011 22:53

Greenkit Sun 09-Jan-11 11:33:55
Dansmommy - If your going to leave your kids in the car while you go shopping, why take them in the first place?

So I'd be better off leaving them at home? Confused

Do you seriously supervise your 11 year old at all times? How on earth do they get to and from secondary school? Surely you don't have to take them? I was popping to the local shops on my own from the age of 8/9, and will certainly do the same with my own kids.

I totally agree that small children shouldn't be left alone, btw, but defining 'small children' as anyone under 12 is ludicrous.

monkeyflippers · 09/01/2011 22:57

Blimey! I hate leaving mine in the car while I pay for petrol and am looking at the car the entire time ready to sprint back!

JockTamsonsBairns · 09/01/2011 23:03

Why though, Monkey ? Genuine question. I've seen this before on Mumsnet, people terrified leaving their DC's in the car while they pay for petrol, and I don't understand what they're frightened of.

Spenguin · 09/01/2011 23:13

Jesus, I wouldn't have touched the car! Common tort law doesn't always protect a rescuer. One pissed off mother and you could have wound up being sued - especially because the kid was showing no signs of distress, or, rather, one could not have reasonably believed the baby was in danger.

YANBU to be concerned, however, I just would have stayed next to the car and sugar-coated my presence (and reason for) when the mother/father/whatever showed up.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 23:19

yanbu

i hve phoned the non emergency line for the exact same thing in the past. teh mum turned up really blase while i was on the phone and the officer asked to speak to her. he told her to expect a call from SS.

beachholiday · 09/01/2011 23:19

Mummyosaurus I saw almost the exact same scenario as you - baby, and two children who looked under 4. They were quite agitated and one of them was making the electric window go up and down while the other kept starting to climb out of it (on a busy road). There were enough bystanders alarmed by it to stay with the children until a woman came back but she ignored everyone and dorve off. I rang the non-emergency police line - I dont like thinking she might get a fright when the police call around but I did hope she might rethink doing it again if they told her what the children were doing in her absence.

seeker · 09/01/2011 23:24

'Child abduction is not the only risk.
The baby could have vomited and choked.
The baby could ahve had a seizure.
The car could have developed an electrical fault and caught fire.
the baby could have been stung by a wasp/bee and have an allergic reaction (probably not at this time of the year but relevant if the parents make a habit of it)
The car could have been hit by another car in the car park
Leaving a baby alone while the parent goes shopping, is neglect. It would be better for the parents to receive a warning rather than a conviction, though.'

don't forget the most likely danger - alien abduction. What would those poor parents have felt if they ahd come out to discover that their baby had become one cell of a Venusian Mega-being?

pigletmania · 09/01/2011 23:27

YANBU at all, you were acting very responsibly. Would you leave a baby alone in your house while you popped to the shop, no the same goes with the car.

Caboodle · 09/01/2011 23:27

YANBU at all, and I understand the instinctive reaction to try the doors to check the safety of the child. Possibly setting the car alarm off is irrelevant. Why do people leave small children in cars?

TickettyBoo · 09/01/2011 23:29

YANBU

Like many have said though I wouldn't have tried the door handles - I would have stayed with the car, and maybe asked someone to ask a member of staff to come out to you by the car once some time had passed.

seeker · 09/01/2011 23:37

"Why do people leave small children in cars?"

Because they are safely strapped into a car seat, and nothing is going to happen to them while you pop into the shop!!!!!

OnEdge · 09/01/2011 23:44

seeker You forgot spontaneous combustion Grin

Caboodle · 09/01/2011 23:44

But I have seen friends' children unstrap themselves, and other posters have given examples of small children opening windows etc. I am not averse to taking risks and understand how being too risk averse breeds children who cannot assess risk accurately when they are older, but I just don't get this one I'm afraid.