leaving baby alone in car

[monkeyfeet]

Last night I was walking through retail centre carpark with my son and saw a car with a baby asleep in a child seat in the back of the car. I had a look around there was no one about ant the car was a fair way from the shops so i tried doors they were locked. I didnt have my mobile phone on me so went into the nearest shop and told the manager to phone the police or make an announcement, so we went out again to get the registration and confirm the car was still there it was. Then we went back into the shop to phone I decided i would go back out and see if anyone showed up but by this time I saw the car driving away. All of this was over the course of about 15 mins no one had been keeping an eye on the car or they would have seen me trying to get in the store manager trying to get in and come over. It was freezing outside and the baby looked to be about 6 months old.

So the store manager decided not to ring the police as they had gone but when i got home I rang the non emergency line to make a report. Hopefully it was someone being thoughtless and not negligent and a visit from the polce could make them understand what is not appropriate.

But AIBU to report this to the police?

[seeker]

So because children die if they are left in cars in the summer heat in Phoenix, Arizona, it's dangerous to leave one in a car in the car park of Tesco in Croydon in January.

Get a grip, people!!!!!

[JockTamsonsBairns]

theevildead2

The car could be stolen, yes. But, really - how likely is that to happen on a petrol forecourt? I lived in Glasgow for most of my life and car crime is rife. But, believe me, car thieves don't want DC's to take on a joy ride. I know someone's about to provide a link telling me that this once happened somewhere in the world - but this is about risk assessment and management surely. Statistically, my car could be hijacked while I'm driving down Great Western Road with my DC's, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

My DC's 'could overheat or freeze to death'. Seriously? While I'm in paying for my petrol? I'm not actually willing to believe that somehow.

If I've overlooked some real and serious threat to my DC's while I pop in to pay for petrol, then of course I want to learn about it. But these threads always end up with posters offering up ridiculously unlikely scenarios of what might happen, and encouraging each other to phone the police on the rest of us who don't buy into their hysteria.

[BuzzLightBeer]

@ seeker.

Personally I think taking all 3 dc out of the car to pay for petrol, when in my case there would be a very high chance of my 3 year old running under a truck or drinking petrol, is far more dangerous than leaving them in the car, strapped in. And if anyone was tempted to steal my rustbucket old heap of shit car they would soon be put off by both the god-awful smell and the 3 snotty children shouting at them.

Can I please have a dispensation from the perfect mothers massive to leave them in the car then?

[LilyBolero]

Greenkit
You wrote "Surely it is never ok to leave a baby or small child, and by small child I mean anything under the age of 12 on their own."

Do you not think that a parent has a duty to equip their child for adult life? Wrapping them in cotton wool does not do this.

Most secondary school pupils will travel to school on their own at age 11. For us this will mean a bus trip on the public bus across the city. I'd far rather my kids learned before that how to cope on their own in a safe environment for 15 mins or so. I leave my 9 year old on his own at home, he is fine and enjoys the independence. He knows the rules, and what to do in an emergency. I would leave my 7 year old too now, she is capable.

I also leave the baby and 4 year old in the car whilst going into the local shop/petrol station. I figure it's far safer (and the 4 year old is sensible) than trying to navigate across the forecourt with cars behaving erratically.

[researchinmotion]

theevildead2 Wasn't mine. I was at work on the customer service desk,LOL. If it were mine I'd have left it at least an hour before ringing

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I leave DD (3.0) in the car when I pop into the petrol station/Tesco Express and have done since she was about 12 months and went forward facing and I could see her. I only leave her if I can see her, not because I can glare at people who might nick the car but so that I can make sure she is ok. If she looks happy then I'll join the queue with my loaf, if she is crying I'll live without. Never thought anything of it.

[Pesha]

So "Thirty to 40 children die in hot cars every year" in America according to that link.

But according to this "over 250,000 children are injured every year in car accidents, and about 2000 die from their injuries" (also in America for comparison).
Does this mean I am also BU to take my children in the car at all in the first place?! Should we walk everywhere..but then what are the statistics for children as pedestrians being killed?! I suspect there are more than 30 to 40 children each year killed after being hit by a car.

So I guess the answer really is to keep them locked up safely at home.

Wait, how many children die each year in accidents around the home...?!

[theevildead2]

No, but in America most people HAVE to drive. Leaving a child in the car is not (in most cases) neccesary.


I imagine that the 40-50 people who lost children last year aren't still thinking.. "Well it was only a small risk. Shit happens."

[BuzzLightBeer]

but how many is it the UK?

[darleneconnor]

Oh well yoou better lock me in jail and throw away the key!

It never crossed my mind to take my DCs into the petrol station with me. I've never heard of anyone doing this in RL.

Children face risks at home, as pedestrians and as car passengers.

Notwithstanding extremes of weather if a baby is asleep and stapped into a seat in a locked car they are probably safer then that at any other time that day/week/month.

There is an alarming miscomprehension of risk on this thread, which, ironically could actually be putting children at risk.

[ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar]

[swanandduck]

I once found a toddler wandering around a small car park beside a busyish road and took him by the hand up to the shops to point out his mother. She was right at the back of the vegetable shop and did a double take when she saw me walking up with her son. She had left him asleep in his seat and didn't realise he could undo the buckle and get out.

Laughing though at idea that you shouldn't leave a 15 year old in the car by himself.

[Abr1de]

"Surely it is never ok to leave a baby or small child, and by small child I mean anything under the age of 12 on their own."'

I don't like leaving my husband alone. He is 57 but you can't be too careful. People do spontaneously combust.

[Tabliope]

If the baby was sleeping I think I would have waited close by to the car for 10 minutes to see if anyone turned up first. I wouldn't have tried the door handles - why? You could have opened yourself up to all sorts of accusations. Asking the manager to make an announcement would have been enough I think and made the parent think. The police was overkill imv.

I thought at first the comment about not leaving small children alone up to the age of 12 was meant to be 12 months. My 12 year old has travelled up to London alone (2 hour train journey). I put him on the train and he's picked up the other end. You have to let go a little bit from about 10 or 11, depending on the child of course.

[Pesha]

I used figures from America only as a comparison. I imagine there are very few, if any, children in this country who die from being left in a hot car. Or from any other of the apparent risks of leaving a child in a locked car. The risk is miniscule. The risk of having a car accident whilst driving is significantly higher yet people still drive their dc around daily on non-essential journeys without being reported to the police for putting their child at risk.

As someone else said though its about risk assesments. People die in freak accidents but you can't live your life assuming that this will happen to you or your dc too if you do X,Y or Z.

FWIW I wouldn't leave a young child unattended in a secluded car park for 20 minutes as in the OP for fear that the child would wake up and be upset. It was the posts suggesting that children should never be left even for a few minutes or under 12 because of hugely unlikely risks that I was objecting to.

[seeker]

If it had been very hot, then of course the OP would not be being unreasonable. But it wasn't. So the baby was in absolutely no danger at all.

[BringOnTheGoat]

I left my 14mo DD in the car asleep outside my friends house for half an hour last week. I couldn't see the car and popped out every 10 mins. Had I gotten her out she would have woken up miserable from lack of sleep. IMO she was better off srtapped in her car seat having a lovely sleep. The idea that I could have come out to find the police there baffles me!

I also leave DD in car at petrol station. IMO it's much safer than walking across busy forecourt.

[cobbledtogether]

Of course, its completely neglectful, which is why my children are in one of these at all times.

child safety first

[tinierclanger]

All the people who think it's fine, have you never witnessed a parked car being hit by another vehicle? It's not that uncommon. That's a genuine question as it would be my chief concern.

[seeker]

OMG, babyheave, how could you? If that gets warm, the airt will expand ant it will take off! You children will drifting in outer space! And alone! Without you to generate oxygen for them - as of course all motheres can, so long as they can see their children.

[BringOnTheGoat]

That is a good point tinier - but I feel it would be unlikely in a car park, petrol forecourt or outside my friend's on a quiet road.

Life's all about weighing up risks. I think OP had a point - due to the situ - but the idea that leaving a sleeping baby in a car for more than a couple of minutes is neglect is hilarious to me.

[TattyDevine]

My BIL is the primary carer of his children (a SAHD) and he leaves his children in the car all the time. Sometimes he'll pop into Tesco and leave them there, though he doesn't do a weekly shop.

He locks the car but disables the alarm (he said if you hold the key down when you lock it it does this) and he'll put a DVD on for them.

He's been doing this a while, since the youngest was about 18 months and the oldest about 4 and a half. He couldn't do it with the oldest when he was younger (say, 2) because he would come back and find he'd been crying.

He doesn't consider it neglect, he considers it a compromise. He says if the kids aren't in the mood to be dragged around the shop, he'd rather not have any of it, they can stay in the car and everyone's happy!

I have done small errands like collecting dry cleaning, picking up a bottle of Polytar from Boots, pint of milk, bottle of wine, etc. I use the petrol forecourt analogy...if the car is the same kind of viewing distance as a petrol forecourt, and the transaction takes approximately the same time, then I'm comfortable with it.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

tinierclanger how is that different to being hit when the car is moving? Being in a car carries a degree of risk and I'd say you're less likely to be hit when it's parked on a forecourt than whizzing round a roundabout.