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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving baby alone in car

223 replies

monkeyfeet · 09/01/2011 08:50

Last night I was walking through retail centre carpark with my son and saw a car with a baby asleep in a child seat in the back of the car. I had a look around there was no one about ant the car was a fair way from the shops so i tried doors they were locked. I didnt have my mobile phone on me so went into the nearest shop and told the manager to phone the police or make an announcement, so we went out again to get the registration and confirm the car was still there it was. Then we went back into the shop to phone I decided i would go back out and see if anyone showed up but by this time I saw the car driving away. All of this was over the course of about 15 mins no one had been keeping an eye on the car or they would have seen me trying to get in the store manager trying to get in and come over. It was freezing outside and the baby looked to be about 6 months old.

So the store manager decided not to ring the police as they had gone but when i got home I rang the non emergency line to make a report. Hopefully it was someone being thoughtless and not negligent and a visit from the polce could make them understand what is not appropriate.

But AIBU to report this to the police?

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 10/01/2011 16:48

What is the stat on Zombies?

Does anyone know anything about giant killer ants?

babeinthewood · 10/01/2011 16:50

ooo I would never leave my kids in the car, where I couldnt see them!!! for that reason!! I used to leave DS2 in the car while I nipped in to pick up the other two from school, but only if I could park very close, and he was asleep, he was well over a year by then though, and Id wait until I saw other kids comming out before I left the car, so it would literally be 2-5mins.

However, I wouldnt leave all of them in the car at all if possible, I have been known to drag my middle son out in the pouring rain (hes the most likely to cause trouble!) when Ive had to stop off for something. With the exception of a petrol station, taking the kids out of the car, in a busy petrol station, to me, is daft! they have alot more protection from moving cars inside the car than they do outside of it, I have three children, and theres no way they'd be safe comming into the garage with me, Ive only got two hands!! Smile

SoupDragon · 10/01/2011 16:51

You don't need to be crossing a road to be attacked by zombies hit by a car

tinierclanger · 10/01/2011 16:54

Is that why some people wont walk anywhere? To protect themselves from cars?

altinkum · 10/01/2011 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 10/01/2011 17:08

WHo knows. It is, however, the reason I leave my children in the car where I can see them rather than unload them and hustle them across, for example, a petrol forecourt where they are easily obscured by cars.

Porcelain · 10/01/2011 17:13

I wouldn't leave my baby alone in a car, not because I think any physical harm is likely to come to him, but because I know he is likely to wake up (always does within a couple of minutes of stopping) find himself alone and get distressed.

Someone is going to call me pfb in a minute, but I just don't think it's very kind to leave a baby alone, in a strange place and distressed. I don't think it's very kind to leave anyone in distress alone without reassurance if you can help it.This isn't controlled crying (where at least it is a means to establishing a secure routine in a safe and familiar environment - I still don't like it, but it's not the same) it's not leaving a tantrumming child in their room. It's a baby waking up in a car in a strange place, with no familiar engine or radio sound, and noone to reassure them. I don't think this is the age or environment to learn about spending time in their own company. I can't see leaving a 6 month old in a carpark for 20 minutes as something a loving parent would do.

Paying for petrol is a different matter, it's only a couple of minutes within sight, I still use a pay at pump as ds gets restless while I am filling up and I'd rather get rolling asap, but it depends on the child.

Children in cars can get themselves in trouble though. My father was a fire officer and has attended several car fires caused by unattended children playing with the cigarette lighter. I think it's up to the parent to make a realistic judgement based on the risks and the particular children. I'd still err on the side of caution, it's quite a serious stake to be gambling with.

TyraG · 10/01/2011 17:21

I think it is extremely neglectful, lazy and stupid to leave a child in a car, I don't care if you can see the car or not. It doesn't take that long for someone to break into a car or for a car to be involved in a hit and run.

I used to live in Arizona and it was amazing how many people would leave their babies in cars, especially in the summer. And then they have the nerve to look surprised when the baby dies. There was one instance where someone left their baby in the car to check the mail (about 10 or so feet away) and while they were there, the car was stolen and with it, their baby.

There was also the instance in Scottsdale (posh part of the Phoenix Metro area) where a woman (who happened to be a preschool teacher) left her sleeping two year old in the car at the valet parking, but took her dog in with her. Luckily the valet was smart enough to call the police.

BuzzLightBeer · 10/01/2011 17:26

You might notice though Tyra that the UK is not actually in Arizona though.

Neglectful lazy and stupid? Well I'm sure you're Princess Perfect. Hmm

LilyBolero · 10/01/2011 17:26

You balance up the risks. I personally think taking multiple small children across a petrol forecourt is far riskier than leaving them strapped into the car. And I know someone who was killed by a car mounting the pavement (though not in a forecourt), so the business about 'probability of crossing roads' is a red herring.

Forecourts are a nightmare with cars reversing, manouvreing, parking etc. V easy for a child to not be seen. A low impact with a parked car is far less risky than a low impact with a child.

Nothing is risk free. I leave my 9yo at home sometimes. He is sensible, knows the rules. People have said to me "How can you do that, what if you were in a fatal car accident? He would be home alone, and not know..."

I'd far rather he were at home alone, but safe than in a fatal car accident!!! It's loopy logic.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TyraG · 10/01/2011 17:33

Really Buzz are you sure that the UK is not in AZ? Hmm No I'm not perfect, never said I was. But it's just as easy for a child to die from freezing here as it is from the heat in Arizona.

Cause just in case you didn't pick up on it, it gets really cold here where it doesn't in So. Arizona. Amazing concept I know, but it's true.

BuzzLightBeer · 10/01/2011 17:46

no it really isn't that easy. It takes far far longer to die of cold than heat actually. And its not that cold most of the time.
If you can link to a single case where a small child has frozen to death in a car in the UK I'll gladly take it back.

Teaandcakeplease · 10/01/2011 17:46

sheeplikessleep how horrid Sad

Knowing me I'd have told the parents what a little shit horror he was being to his sister. But if I had a partner with me I'd have ensured one of us stayed in the car with them. That would be the ideal scenario to me, to leave one to watch them.

TyraG · 10/01/2011 18:01

altinkum Really? If you left a baby in a car during the summer when it gets up to 115 degrees outside you would be surprised that the baby didn't survive? I would think that anyone with 1/2 a brain would be able to figure out that a baby in a car in that heat will not live.

You know what Buzz, you're right. Fuck it, let's just all leave our kids in our cars from now on because let's face it, it's so much easier when we don't have to take them with us.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 10/01/2011 18:04

I'd certainly be very surprised if it ever got to 115 degrees here.

BuzzLightBeer · 10/01/2011 18:05

yeah I do sometimes, as I've said. And look, here they all still alive! Must be a total fluke, not actual risk assessment and proper parenting.

How about you don't leave a baby in 115 degrees (what is that in real degrees?) and I will in a nicely cool 12degC? Or you could assume you always know best for other people some more?

altinkum · 10/01/2011 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBiscuit · 10/01/2011 18:26

I love the fact that this thread is one of the most popular along with the one complaining about the EE storyline. Is stealing babies unrealistic or not? Make a decision, people.

Still, I expect someone will be along in a minute to tell me that retail park carparks are a prime hunting ground for babysnatchers Hmm

porcamiseria · 10/01/2011 18:30

good point tatty! i once popped to drop laundry in laundrette so left both ds in car, i was less than 30 secs but heard alarm go on my car....i panicked and suspect that someone may have tried door

ds1 was very scared, never again

op yanbu

TyraG · 10/01/2011 18:31

Whatever you say Buzz, cause apparently you're right. And 115F is 46C.

SoupDragon · 10/01/2011 18:42

You get that this thread is about the UK, don't you Tyra...?

cobbledtogether · 10/01/2011 18:46

46C - Thats a very large back size for such a small cup.
Oh temperature! Sorry I couldn't believe it could get that hot anywhere and though I'd accidently wandered into Style and Beauty.

altinkum · 10/01/2011 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.