Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go ballistic at my irresponsible friend?

165 replies

TheSingingNun · 08/01/2011 23:15

My friend is normally a sensible mum of two, who occasionally leaves her two children (14 and 6) home alone while she pops to the shop, which I don't have a problem with.

However, recently she has started dating a man (who I suspect is a bit of a philanderer, but that's another story), and left the children the other day to meet him and have sex in his car Hmm. She said it didn't take as long as here usual trip to the supermarket, but that's not the point, surely?

I'm afraid I went ape at her, and now she has deleted me from her facebook. I wasn't being unreasonable, was I? It is not exactly great behaviour for a responsible parent.

OP posts:
maktaitai · 08/01/2011 23:53

Half an hour in a car? Poor cow.

I always have an opinion when friends have relationships with married men - I don't agree with it and it does affect my friendship with them. However, tbh I don't challenge it unless they ask me for an opinion. That's only my way because I'm not prepared to lose friends over that particular issue; if i did challenge them, I would be pretty sure that I would lose them, because it is not my business.

Re the 14-year-old - don't be ridiculous. I pay 14-year-olds money to look after my 6 year old.

mutznutz · 08/01/2011 23:54

Spenguin I have this strange urge to light a cigarette now.... Wink

MissAnneElk · 08/01/2011 23:55

Silentbob, I think there is a huge difference in a 14 year old being aware of their parents having a shag and their mother bringing home some random bloke for a shag. Yes, it's still sex, but different.

SilentBob · 08/01/2011 23:55

Nun, so originally you "went ballistic" at her for what she did and now, seeing as a lot of people have said you were perhaps a leeeeeetle out of order, you're "worried for her"? Right you are.

Mutznutz, yep, totally get that, but that was never really insinuated here and some reactions seemed a bit "knee-jerk"y IYSWIM.

Also, whoever it was who said total whore? Is she being paid?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 08/01/2011 23:55

sorry, what is a bit harsh bella?

NimpyWindowmash · 08/01/2011 23:56

Haven't had sex in a car for years Envy

PixieOnaLeaf · 08/01/2011 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bellavita · 08/01/2011 23:57

Calling someone a whore ILoveit.

saffy85 · 08/01/2011 23:57

Hope you make up with your friend OP. I wasn't joking about the low self esteem. I'm sure you're friend does deserve a much better man than this. I actually don't think you're a bad friend, although I would more likely have gone spare at my mate having a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" with what sounds like a total git in the back of his car and being treated like a bootycall than the babysitting issue.

Imo bootycall different to fuckbuddy.

Original poster
TheSingingNun · 08/01/2011 23:58

Of course I'm worried about her- I have known her since we were teenagers. I always thought we could be upfront with each other Sad

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 08/01/2011 23:59

bella have you read what i wrote?

TrillianAstra · 08/01/2011 23:59

I don't feel particularly Envy about having sex in cars - I prefer a bit more space, and slightly fewer windows.

Vallhala · 08/01/2011 23:59

Bella, you're mistaken, Boo pulled someone up for calling the woman a whore, she didn't accuse the woman of it herself.

PixieOnaLeaf · 09/01/2011 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

EdgarAleNPie · 09/01/2011 00:00

if they were parked in a P&T space, YANBU.

Grin
saffy85 · 09/01/2011 00:01

I'm always afraid if I get caught shagging anywhere in public someone will comment on my performance. Gives me stage fright just thinking about it.... Blush

SilentBob · 09/01/2011 00:01

Pixie, I was not for one second saying people should fetch home randoms, introduce them to said children and rag the new partner upstairs by his gimp mask lead while the children were watching CBeebies, I was simply making the point that I thought the OP and some knee-jerkers were a bit "ooo-er Missus" about the whole sex thing.

I have a near-13 year old and am single, btw. I am also 5ft 9 inches tall- if my next conquest doesn't have a limo, I am done for.

mutznutz · 09/01/2011 00:02

Anyone else think it's best to move away from the 'married man' thing...you know like seeing as though the OP originally said she sees him as a 'bit of a philanderer'...but since so many think she's being unreasonable...she now says she thinks he might be married? Smile

Original poster
TheSingingNun · 09/01/2011 00:02

Maybe you're right. It was the tackiness of it that first shocked me tbh.

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 00:02

Grin @ edgar

agree with pixie.

OP if her relationship concerns you then be upfront and tell her, don't cause rucks over something that apparently isn't what actually concerns you.

bellavita · 09/01/2011 00:03

ILoveit, I apologise - it was the poster above you - I really should go and get my glasses..... Blush

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 09/01/2011 00:03

YABU, her fanny, her rules. And if she wants to risk it getting frostbite, that's up to her.

HOWEVER, when I was a kid there was a vile woman, had a permanent catsbum and felt very superiour, her husband was an equal twunt.

That is until she was caught shagging the AA man behind the back of fecking MATALAN of all places, parently some poor soul spotted the van rocking and 'ahem' tapped on the window. Dunno how my mum and her friends found out but they had a bloody field day, wiped the damn permasmirk off her face too Grin

So heed cheeseys warning, never shag in a bright yellow van at the back of a shopping estate where you're bound to be spotted by someone you know

bupcakesandcunting · 09/01/2011 00:04

She sounds a delight, going for bunk ups in vehicles. Has she not heard of Travelodge's excellent £29 rooms? I'm sure they'd hire her o e for even cheaper if it's a quick in and out jobbie.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 00:04

that's ok, i was confused. had to re-read my own post just to make sure i didn't type it wrong Grin

SilentBob · 09/01/2011 00:05

Cunting- It's Premier Inn that's £29, Travelodge (so I've heard) are even cheaper! Clearly, if she's a total whore, she's not charging enough! :D