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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go ballistic at my irresponsible friend?

165 replies

TheSingingNun · 08/01/2011 23:15

My friend is normally a sensible mum of two, who occasionally leaves her two children (14 and 6) home alone while she pops to the shop, which I don't have a problem with.

However, recently she has started dating a man (who I suspect is a bit of a philanderer, but that's another story), and left the children the other day to meet him and have sex in his car Hmm. She said it didn't take as long as here usual trip to the supermarket, but that's not the point, surely?

I'm afraid I went ape at her, and now she has deleted me from her facebook. I wasn't being unreasonable, was I? It is not exactly great behaviour for a responsible parent.

OP posts:
mutznutz · 08/01/2011 23:31

OP do you wear a twin set and pearls whilst clutching your sensible handbag to your heart much? Wink

FabbyChic · 08/01/2011 23:31

Social Services will state that a babysitter has to be 16, you also cannot leave a child of 14 in charge of a 6 year old. Over ten yes, under ten NO.

She is irresponsible, however it would have been more irresponsible for her to have bought the guy home and fucked him over the sofa whilst her kids were upstairs. At least she is not bringing him home and only popped out for some dogging.

Original poster
TheSingingNun · 08/01/2011 23:31

It is not a wind-up, honestly.

OP posts:
julybutterfly · 08/01/2011 23:31

But it's ok for her to babysit for a longer time when the mum goes to the shops?

Unless it was your car I don't think it's any of your business

Chynah · 08/01/2011 23:32

A 14 yo can only supervise if the outing was for shopping (not sex) and if the bloke is not married. Glad we've got that straight.

maddy68 · 08/01/2011 23:32

YABVU
14 is perfectly ok to look after a 6 yr old.
That is not what you are upset about and you are being very judgy pants about her having sex.
NOthing to do with you at all

StewieGriffinsMom · 08/01/2011 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janos · 08/01/2011 23:33

Somehow I missed there was a 14 year old. That will teach me to skim read. Not irresponsible then.

Shagging in a supermarket carpark tho? Hope it wasn't Waitrose Grin

MissAnneElk · 08/01/2011 23:33

Don't see the problem. Better than introducing her DCs to a series of 'uncles' IMO.

wuggglemump · 08/01/2011 23:34

She is not irresponsible.
The only mistake she has made is having the OP as a 'friend'.

PixieOnaLeaf · 08/01/2011 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mutznutz · 08/01/2011 23:34

Oh ffs now you're dictating when she can have sex and how long she can wait? Sorry but LMFAO!!

If the 14yr old is responsible then that's that. At least in this day and age we have mobile phones which is far more than young babysitters had years ago.

maddy68 · 08/01/2011 23:34

fab chic - there is no legal age for babysitting at all strangely.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 08/01/2011 23:34

That's the difference, you don't get to decide when it's not necessary.

The half an hour is the same whether she was getting her nails done or getting her fanjo treated.

Judge him about the married bit but you have no reason to judge her at all.

She is now lucky she doesn't have you for a friend.

squarehat · 08/01/2011 23:34

I agree with trillion too Grin

Shagging in a car is pretty tacky but it can be good fun too Wink

If the kids are safe i think YABU. Its no different from leaving the kids at home whilst you go to the supermarket, accross to a freinds for a quick brew or whatever. Agree that bringing him hime and going at it upstairs would be a lot more unreasonable.

maryz · 08/01/2011 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spenguin · 08/01/2011 23:35

Calling someone a cow is a bit much! She didn't call her friend names.

FML.

PolythenePam · 08/01/2011 23:35

'Sex can wait until her free weekends when the children go to their fathers'. except I suspect her new man might be busy with his family.'

Can it now. Why? Because YOU said so?

It isn't up to you. I repeat....You. Don't. Get. A. Say.

mutznutz · 08/01/2011 23:36

Fabbychic There is no legal age for babysitting in the UK. In fact there is no legal age to leave a child at home alone as long as the child is not neglected or left in obvious danger.

Original poster
TheSingingNun · 08/01/2011 23:36

So you all think I'm being unreasonable then? What do I do now? I am prepared to apologise, but I can't say that I approve of how she is behaviour, because I just don't.

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 08/01/2011 23:36

the singing nun, if you were really concerned then you would be saying she shouldn't be leaving teh 14 year old in charge at all. not safe is not safe, regardless of the reason. and are you honestly saying that she takes over half an hour to do 'emergency' shopping regularly? Hmm

StewieGriffinsMom · 08/01/2011 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheSingingNun · 08/01/2011 23:37

It's in the sticks and all shops are a drive away, that's why it takes more than a few minutes.

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 08/01/2011 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TrillianAstra · 08/01/2011 23:38

SGM - I am often surprised by how many people state things as fact on MN that are completely untrue.

Legally required age of babysitters is s common one. The other day someone said that ibuprofen has paracetamol in it. Just like that. No "I think",or "I heard", just "this is so", when it absolutely is not.