Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

[MsKLo]

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

usualsuspect, you can be my deputy. But could you do your vile nasty smoking in the broom cupboard, there's a dearie.

I can see what the op means when being disgusted with people smoking in their cars with a baby in it as well... Have never understood why people would smoke in their car after having sat in a car with a friend who smoked (without baby then). Or smoking in the house when you have (small) kinds hanging around. They should not be forced to breathe the smoke you prefer to breathe.

But, I have known at least one person at my workplace who was so addicted that, ON ADVICE OF HER DOCTOR, she had to lessen her smoking per day but not stop altogether as that would cause problems as well (like in heroin addicts who become seriously ill when going cold turkey). So, having seen that woman smoke and having known her deliver a perfectly, ideal, healthy baby, I now hesitate severely in judging a pregnant woman when I see her smoking. One never knows.

In view of people in fromer ages sitting in the smoke of fire (also now in Indian and African tribes for example; so archeologists find them back with lungs as black as those of smokers), tobacco smoke, smoking/tobacco even being used as a medication and the like, and knowing them to have delivered at least healthy babies as well, I would hesitate to really demonise it.

It can't be overly god, but I would not over-exaggerate the effects, especially if it is under 3 cigarettes a day. Something of course we cannot see if we do not spend the whole day with suh a woman we see on the street.

But that's me and that opinion is not very popular.

Have never smoked by the way. Not touched a cigarette in my life, only ever held some for my hubby, who has now been clean for 3 years I believe.

Try looking at the research on pregnancy and smoking. You will find reasons why women smoke in pregnancy and with children - it is an addiction, and can be a stress reliever, "crutch" to enable you to cope with life etc.
Yes the health guidance is to give up (for anyone not just pregnant) and smoking cessation services for pregnant women are available, but women need support (not the same as approval) rather than judgement, when lets face it no-one know all the circumstances.

www2.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab001055.html

as their summary says
"Tobacco smoking during pregnancy is relatively common, although the trend is toward becoming less frequent in high-income countries and more so in low to middle-income countries. Many mothers find it hard to stop or reduce smoking during pregnancy even knowing the benefits of doing so as the nicotine in tobacco is very addictive. Smoking in pregnancy is also strongly associated with poverty, low levels of education, poor social support, depression and psychological illness."

sorry forgot to do link properly

[http://www2.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab001055.html]

or even

www2.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab001055.html

SOH

Believe me I do understand the complexities behind it, but that doesn't mean women who do I aren't wrong to do so

I hav my issues (I know, I know, I seem perfect... but when I do something that is wrong I will not try to excuse it, especially when it comes to my dc

But you have made up your mind that I can't relate to fellow human beings and that's up to you, I know different so thats good enough for me

Yes it's wrong. I think most people are agreeing with you. What they're disagreeing with is your nasty, hyperbolic, offensive language.

And I think there's quite a distinction between 'excuse' and 'reason'.

Well I think my nasty language is justified and my nasty language is nowhere near as bad as smoking when pregnant. People are bein so judgey about my rage at women who smoke! Ironic.

OP it really isn't that black and white. It is bad, but I don't think calling the women who do it selfish and irresponsible is helpful.
(And I say this as a lifelong non smoker - and when pg I actually used to hold my breath if I passed a smoker!)

I don't think smoking when pregnant is a great thing to do and I am sure almost all of the ladies on MN would agree, even the ones who did smoke when pregnant. I am sure they wanted to stop but there are many reasons why people don't or can't. Without knowing these reasons it is very difficult just to dictate to them and speak about them with such nastiness.

However, your post earlier was unbelievable:

"ilithya

Lmao nOw I have heard it all! What a great mother you must be if you think these two things qualify for twat status!"

How dare you judge another woman's parenting skills or make a judgement on what kind of a mother she is because she has a different opinion to you. Who the fuck are you to make this judgement?

Maybe people who smoke when pregnant are wrong and shouldn't do it, but dictatorial people who make judgements without knowing a person are also wrong and shouldn't do it.

OP you sound like a twat to me.

"my nasty language is nowhere near as bad as smoking when pregnant"

That doesn't mean we can't object to your nasty language - or can we not object to burglary because it's nowhere near as bad as murder?

You clearly don't understand irony. But alanis didn't either. I blame her entirely.

"Well I think my nasty language is justified and my nasty language is nowhere near as bad as smoking when pregnant. People are bein so judgey about my rage at women who smoke! Ironic."

Oh course it is OP, you are God afterall so nothing you can ever be deemed as wrong

You also say further up the thread that you say this in real life too. Well I would be more offended by hearing your langauge and name calling than I would be by seeing a smoker.

What would be ironic is if a scientist made a discovery today that swearing and being judgemental was more dangerous to unborn babies than any other activity. And he made this discovery whilst smoking.

and eating pom bears

Since you find it "amazing how many selfish women have come on here to justify smoking when pregnant" did you just feel inclined to start this thread so everyone would agree with you and have a good old bitch about those women? Seems rather pointless amd not really suited to aibu OP.

oh no, that wouldn't be ironic, just surreal
sorry for the confusion

Pink4ever I am very sorry for your loss.

But you say you have regrets about other things, I take that to mean you have done something at some point that you shouldn't have or couldn't stop yourself. That's how most smokers feel. It's not logical to think that one regrettable action is valid and another isn't.

"Well I think my nasty language is justified and my nasty language is nowhere near as bad as smoking when pregnant. People are bein so judgey about my rage at women who smoke! Ironic."

It'a pretty tempting to judge you. I don't think it's right to smoke in pregnancy, but you are being unpleasant and appear to be entirely lacking in empathy. I hope all your parenting choices are perfect. And that you teach your children to try and understand other people before judging them.

You can absolutely feck off.

I have had 4 pregnancies. For 3 of those I never smoked (do not drink at all even when not pregnant) so much as one cigarette and one of them ended in an unexplained stillbirth, the others were very healthy babies.

When I have smoked between pregnancies, I have never smoked in the house or car, always freeze my ass of in the garden. I also never walk down the street with a fag in my hand and can't understand people who do. Never smoke more than 10 a day. I enjoy it. I would never be so 'selfish' as to inflict it on my family.

In my last pregnancy I smoked approximately 5 a day and I bloody well looked forward to them. DS was 9lb 7oz and was 2 days overdue. He is currently 20lb at 5 months and in extremely good health.

It pisses me off in the extreme that smokers are blamed for everything. Some of us are responsible dontcha know.

It is not a disgusting, filthy habit either. Disgusting and filthy is picking your nose and eating it, not keeping yourself or your DCs clean, or IMO eating dead animals.

Don't bother judging me I am completely fine with it and have absolutely no guilt.

Whether I am 'wrong' or not is for me to judge not any of you.

Oh and btw, my parents never smoked and out of 8 children, 4 of us ended up doing so.

I didn't read the whole thread cause, quite frankly I couldn't be bothered.

I can see both sides of the coin as I am a former smoker, however I quit long before I had kids. The fact is that nicotine is 3 times (I believe I've got it right) more addicting than heroin. You can only quit if your heart is in it and you really want to. I tried time and time again to try and quit smoking. I tried the method where every two weeks you move to a pack with less nicotine in it (yeah, not so much), then tried hypnotherapy which worked until I went into a bar then it was shot to hell. I finally quit cold turkey on June 15, 2003. I put the cigarettes down walked a way and never looked back. But it took me YEARS to get to the point where I was ready to do it.

Would it be better if women who are pregnant/TTC to quit smoking? Yes (duh). But the best way for them to do this (if they are serious about quitting) is to work with their doctors/midwives to find a way for them to quit without losing their minds as nicotine withdrawal can lead to major irritability and possibly manslaughter (just kidding about the latter....I think).

Who the fuck expects it to be harmless Leonie, cop on. Where are you getting your evidence for your last ridiculous statement? Let's have a look around - is the human race actually fucking dead???

Tyra - Manslaughter? Yes I think it's possible.