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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

455 replies

MsKLo · 08/01/2011 00:13

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

OP posts:
wukter · 08/01/2011 10:53

Good on you peaches. Somehow I don't think nicotine addiction met it's zenith in you.

usualsuspect · 08/01/2011 10:53
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 10:53

Believe me wukter there were many many times I wanted a cir when pg but didn't and i am glad i didn't

I have plenty of weaknesses and at times was not sure i could ever live without fags but I keep saying no to the fags as my children can't come second to my desire to smoke

Giving up was a constant battle and one of the hardest things I ever did which is why I am so Ranty about it

It is still hard

OP posts:
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 10:54

Usualsuspect

I do hope you are not smoking near the kids...

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 08/01/2011 10:55

kids all grown up Smile

victoriascrumptious · 08/01/2011 10:56

Yo Wurker! If you snap now and have a fag there's not going to be any damage done (that's what you want to hear and that's what you're telling yourself anyway).

BUT you'll have failed yourself again. You're self esteem will take a battering. If you have one fag you'll have another. You'll end up feeling like shit and really really hating yourself.

If you fail at this it will set the tone for everything else.

Hang on

bronze · 08/01/2011 10:57

her kids are outside having a fag Wink

ShowOfHands · 08/01/2011 10:58

MsKlo, I have a strong opinion on this too. I think smoking is a disgusting, abhorrent, damaging and nasty habit regardless of the person who does it.

I think a lot of smokers would agree with this too.

But I can also understand that just because something is undeniably what it is, doesn't mean that I don't understand what it is to err. And I'm quite proud that my dislike of an act doesn't make me incapable of understanding the subtleties and complexities of the human behaviour behind it.

tethersend · 08/01/2011 10:58

"Would we all be so quick to say oh but its an addiction if there were mothers standing outside the hospital injecting heroin? "

Err... Yes. The clue's in the term heroin addiction.

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2011 10:59

I smoked during pregnancy with DS1, I didn't know I was pregnant until i was almost 5m gone.

I was also out every weekend partying and carrying stands case, bass drum, in fact an entire full size drum kit.

as someone else said its not always as simple as it seems.

tethersend · 08/01/2011 10:59

Of course usual doesn't smoke near the kids.

It'd only make them want one, and that's hardly fair.

wukter · 08/01/2011 10:59

No SOH no cigs, I know I won't buy any, I know I'll get through the next few days. I JUST WANT TO KILL EVERYBODY. It was the same last time - but I stayed off them til I went back to work and weaned.

Bronze what's MrBronze's stance on the objectification of women? Is he a righty or a lefty politically? What are his thoughts on the war in Iraq? We might be able to 'help' each other.

DID I MENTION I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE?

ShowOfHands · 08/01/2011 11:01

So are you saying you want to kill everyone wukter?

bronze · 08/01/2011 11:06

To be honest he doesn't give politics much thought.
I'm more worried because he's gone out shooting.

MargaretGraceBondfield · 08/01/2011 11:08

Show....I don't believe that every pg woman has a mother dying of cancer. Most smokers do it just because they don't want to give up.

MargaretGraceBondfield · 08/01/2011 11:09

wutker....if you can get through one craving at a time you can do it...

ShowOfHands · 08/01/2011 11:16

No neither do I, but I don't think smokers are one homogeneous mass which was my point.

There are as many reasons why a person smokes and why they struggle to give up as there are people who smoke in the first place.

pink4ever · 08/01/2011 11:18

tethersend-really,really?Hmm yes of course all the mums on here would be patting the heroin addicted mothers outside the hospital(pass the crack pipe anyone?) and saying there there....you are talking out of your fecking arse!!.
wutner-yes I have regrets(many) but none of them are that I did anything in anyway to harm my unborn dcs.Yes didnt stop me losing them but life sucks. I had a choice by smoking/drinking/taking drugs in pregnancy you are denying your unborn child a choice.Grow up,be a responsible adult and give up.

MargaretGraceBondfield · 08/01/2011 11:25

TBH...When I see a pg woman or parents smoking I feel sorry for them all, the dcs who are more likely to smoke and the parents must hate smoking around their dcs.

usualsuspect · 08/01/2011 11:29

The compassion and understanding on this thread is so lovely to read (that fag tasted a bit funny ,must have been one of ds's special ones)Wink

ShowOfHands · 08/01/2011 11:31

"Grow up,be a responsible adult and give up"

Well that's that problem solved then. No more addictions. I've got one for world peace.

Man up, stop fighting, be nicer to each other.

God we'll have this put to bed by lunch. Stand aside the Coalition.

usualsuspect · 08/01/2011 11:33

SOH for prime minister I say

tethersend · 08/01/2011 11:35

"tethersend-really,really? Hmm yes of course all the mums on here would be patting the heroin addicted mothers outside the hospital(pass the crack pipe anyone?) and saying there there....you are talking out of your fecking arse!!."

Well done pink; that's exactly what I said.

tethersend · 08/01/2011 11:35
susiedaisy · 08/01/2011 11:37

SOH- your post is great.

i think the worst thing i have seen is a women with tiny babe literally days old it looked, in carrying pouch, or what ever they are called these days strapped to her chest having a fag outside a shop, blowing smoke all over babe that was vile as far as i am concerned,but i am an ex smoker so i know how hard it is to give up, but always smoked outside back door never in house arounds my kids, anyway got to expensive for me, so gave up,