Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

[MsKLo]

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

thanks bodyofeeyore!

don't mistake the bottle for an ashtray caininthepunt

eh? I left this thtread in a healthy state of dispute this morning, and nows its a soya debate, no capito

Ms KLO pls start another angry thread, maybe FF mums this time, go on you know you want to!

Can you read my mind porcamiseria?!

I had better not get started on ff

Not till next full moon anyway

Thank you MsKLo.

I really shouldn't be picky, you want to hear me when someone upsets me regarding animal welfare!

Pot. Kettle. Black. o:

Have only read the first three pages, but I agree with you OP. It may not be easy to quit smoking, but it is possible. It is very unfair to inflict this on your baby/child!

I think this boils down to the fact that people don't want to have to excercise any kind of self control. People think they should be able to do anything they like and to hell with anyone who dares to question them.

yep Marianne

you got it right!

s'ok Vallhala

I am from Italian descent and we are crazy aggressives! lol! all shouting and hand wringing...
when my poor dh came into the family and heard us have a conversation he thought we were fighting... we were just talking!

LeonieDelt.

Oh for goodness sakes - toooooooooooooooo long.

Also only read the first 4 pages, but OP yadnbu.

Comparing sausage rolls and ff with smoking is bonkers.

My sibling and I were exposed to lots of smoke during our childhoods and have both developed smoking linked illnesses as adults. A coincidence? I think not.

Really sorry to hear that Kirsty

Hope you are doing ok now

Alright, I realise that the conversation has moved on by now, but I have only just looked in on this thread and feel that I must respond to this comment:

Leonie 'stopping between pregnancies isnt enough - your body is still awash with nasty chemicals.'

The context is probably lost, but... Leonie, how dare you tell me that my miscarriages were my fault. I have had four pregnancies, and four miscarriages. Every time I discovered I was pregnant, I gave up cigarettes, alcohol, sushi, pate etc etc right away. I say every time, as after I lost my first baby, the grief was so deeply painful, I started smoking again, as I needed a crutch to get me through it (had that pregnancy progressed as planned, I would have never smoked again). Clearly, this was not the healthiest decision, but you know what, until you have lost several babies, you have no right to tell me how I ought to deal with it.

Anyways, heaven knows, I have spent the past two years agonising over what I could have done to change things, to keep my babies, wondering what I have done wrong. When, silly me, it was all my fault. Ah, some more guilt to add to the crippling guilt I carry around every day. Should I have eaten better, drank more water, erased time so I was never a smoker? I live with the pain of knowing four of my babies have died, every day. I really don't need you and your ilk villifying me and exacerbating my grief by telling me it is all my fault.

CainInThePunt - you are back posting under your proper name :) How long have you been back doing that for? How did I miss you??

I love your MN name, it's one of my top few and I use it as a password (not on here)

Fawning over....sorry for the hijack.

I started reading the thread but when there were more deleted posts than 'still standing' posts I gave up and came to the end to see how it was going....

I'm a non smoker - have never smoked, detest smoking and wish everyone would/could just give up overnight for my comfort and everyones benefit.

However the OP was badly worded/phrased and clearly a lot of shit has gone down on the thread and upset a lot of people :(

Untitled :( Sorry about your babies :( I hope you can have a baby if it's still possible for you to try and if you still want this for yourself x I think you should do yourself a favour though and stay away from judgemental posts written by people without an ounce of compassion.

OP- YANBU.

I get very angry on this and feel I am actually in a position to have a qualified opinion here.

I was a chain smoker for 17 years I preferred smoking to everything- food, money, holidays, everything. There's barely a photo of me without a fag in hand or mouth for the whole of those 17 years.

However, the second that blue line showed up, I stopped. Just like that, cold turkey, after 8 unsuccessful attempts when I was young, free single and obviously not pregnant.

So terrified was I about harming my baby, and so grateful to be pregnant, that I couldn't bring myself to light up.

I had a healthy baby and tried, to have another. I had 2 mcs. Finally after 12 more months of trying after the miscarriages and having numerous tests, I found myself pregnant with a much longer for little girl. After a CVS there was a problem. In fact we had to go and see genetic specialists about a series of medical reasons that made a termination inevitable.

On leaving the hospital after this news, we had to walk through a crowd of heavily pregnant women and new mothers in dressing gowns in a fug of cigarette smoke. I was so angry with them. Did they know how lucky they were to get that far?

Thankfully I later went on to have DS2 who is pure joy.

Let me say to those woemn who think the stress of giving up fags will affect their baby- one word- bollocks. Pregnant women have been bereaved, suffered marital breakdown, house moves and pregnancy scares whilst pregnant and have still had healthy babies. Giving up smoking didn't even register as a stress to me once I was pregnant.

If you can't do this one thing for your unborn baby, if you are still making excuses ("its too stressful, it can lead to probalems for the baby in later life etc) then I won't condemn you. I am also asthmatic and wouldn't wish this permanent incurable nuisance on my children. I just ask you to think about my post.

Do I miss fags? Nope. Too busy. I've never looked back and I LOVED cigarettes more than any smoker I hsve ever met. Now that, like you, I love my children more than I could ever have imagined, cigarettes seem like a silly, expensive diversion from my past. They just don't matter. But my children, like your children, do.

NestaFiesta I agree - I loved smoking too!

Untitled

I am very sorry that you went through such agony with your miscarriages - pain like that can hardly be described and thank you for sharing

The fact you gave up when pg was a great thing and I am only so sorry you have suffered such loss

I hope you are finding answers and I wish you all the luck in the world x

Nesta I am sorry about your girl x

MsKLo

You seem to have come down a bit from all that fire and fury of your intial opening post.:)

ladysybil Sat 08-Jan-11 15:29:04
"cory, the thirteen week figure is probably taken from the fact that it is during this time that the baby is forming all its bits and bobs. after that, its just growth and maturation of what is already there."

I was not objecting to the 13 week period, which I fully understand, but to the emotional and totally inaccurate attempt to suggest that the dangers of any alcohol ingestion are similar to stepping on a landmine.

Such dangers may well exist, even with small amounts of alcohol. But given the huge number of babies who are born without FAS after their mothers have ingested modest amounts of alcohol, it is impossible to believe that the statistics are anything like that suggested by Leonie.

I just dislike emotional and exaggerated language, because I think it puts people off from listening.

And for the record, I do not approve of smoking in pregnancy, but I do recognise that the women I have known who were unable to give up were in fact addicted and that many were under immense stress. I have never smoked myself, but what I saw did look like addiction to me.

I otoh did have babies who quite definitely did suffer from the effects of my high blood pressure. It is possible that the effects would have been mitigated if I had been able to bring the blood pressure down by relaxing. But I wasn't able to.

I posted right at the beginning of this thread and admitted that i was a selfish fuckwit for smoking in my first pg and i maintain that.

However there are things i just dont understand, my DD1 who as i said is small for her age is hardly EVER ill she has had a cold maybe one or 2 times in her life, no tummy bugs or anything.
Now my sisters who do not and have never smoked have 5 dcs between them and they are always ill, and i mean ALWAYs with chest infections, ear infections, colds flu etc My DN who is 5 has had so much time off school because she is ill she is falling behind bless her.
I have a friend who never smoked with both her pgs and her children are always ill too.

As i said i gave up when pg with DD2 she seems healty enough but is 8 months and has had probably about 3 colds already and 1 tummy bug when she was 8 weeks old, poor little mite. My DD1 dcidnt have her first cold til she was gone 1.

I am not saying this excuses smoking in pg because it doesnt but i just dont get it, i realy dont.

Also just vecause you parents smoke doesnt mean you will my mum smoked and out of 6 children i am the only one who smokes and after writing this realy wish i hadnt started again tbh. want to give up but find it hard too when i am not pg, i may try those tablets you can get they are meant to be very good.

AnimatiOn

Untitled gave up smoking when pg - smoking in between is not the best thing to do but even untitled can see that. I dO have sympathy for people you know but still maintain to smoke when pg is wrong

Seeing a tiny baby beige put in a car with two parents who got in and lit fags made my blood boil and sparked this thread for me!

Ray
I had a friend who took those pills and they made her feel down in mind and body
Have you tried a workshop?

Hi Leonie :)

I always say that even if a Bf'd child has eczema etc those problems would have been far far worse without the benefits of breast milk

Good old boob milk!