Women who smoke when pregnant are selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

[MsKLo]

...and so are parents who smoke around their babies/children. I see soooooo many parents pushing prams and smoking or driving and smoking with babies in their car seats etc.

And the number of times I have seen pregnant women having a fag...

Selfish, irresponsible fuckwits

And for the record, I am an ex smoker. I LOVED smoking but stopped before I starte trying for a baby as it was, and is not, fair to inflict my selfish habit on my babies.

Msklo, no havent tried to workshop i may look into that i realy would like to give up and wish i hadnt started again tbh it was a stupid thing to do. We are thinking about TTC DC3 so i know if i do fall pg i wont have a problem giving up, the thought of my unborn baby being damaged does stop me in my tracks. I had a friend that i spent alot of time with when i was pg with DD2 and she smoked, she kept offering me one and once i took a drag and jesus i felt quilty for days afterwards. However i would much prefer to give up before we start TTC with DC3.

I have tried patches etc before and although they take the craving away they do nothing for the habit which incidently seems to be the thing i find hard to break.

The BF thing i find hard too because again i only BF DD1 for 6 weeks but DD2 for 4 months and they are so different health wise. I think DD1 is just very lucky as she has a very strong immune system i hope DD2s immune system gets stronger i relay do.

Four months of bf did her a lot of good ( I like bf, can you tell?!)

Talk to your doc about the workshops as you might be able to get them on the nhs? Best if luck x

YANBU, despite your choice of language. Of course smoking while pregnant is selfish and irresponsible as well as dangerous.

However what many people don't realise is that smoking AT ALL when you have children is damaging, not just smoking around them. The toxins (not necessarily the smoke) from cigarettes remain on a smoker's breath (never mind clothes, skin etc) for more than 8 hours after a single cigarette, and have been shown to continue to harm others.

So people who say " Oh, yes, I do smoke but NEVER near the baby" or "I go into the garden to smoke" or even (my personal 'favourite') "I change my clothes and wash my hands before breastfeeding my baby so none of the smoke gets on her" etc etc are fooling themselves.

Seeing parents light up in a car with children inside always makes my bllod boil as well.

Docktate

You are very very right!

I smoked when I was pregnant. Not a huge amount, and not the amount I normally smoked and every single day I tried and failed to stop. It's only now, at the age of 40 that I've managed to stop using Champix. I had tried every single other thing to stop. It is an addiction, not a lifestyle choice, and not one that is easily stopped. There is also the fact that some people are more inclined towards addictions than others. Luckily, my children are all healthy and fine.

Instead of bashing pregnant mothers who smoke, they need support to help them to quit. They need education on what help is available. It's all very well doing a Cissy and Ada face and hoiking your bosoms, whilst looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp, but does that really help? Is that productive? Mynotfinkso.

I hear you visitor but I am still inclined to think more about the babies who have to suffer through no choice of their own. I find it very hard to excuse this behaviour - especially as I battled and still do battle against the need for a cigarette. I think that is why I have zero tolerance for it, because I found it soooo hard to give up - I think I even (subconsciously) delayed having kids because of my desire to smoke

I have no tolerance because I have been there and stopped for my babies

My desire to smoke is still there... I loved smoking so much and miss it still!

Thanks ChippingIn, there was me thinking I would sneak in under the radar! Its just a little excursion for her, she was getting cabin fever and wanted to stretch her fingers again, briefly.

Back on topic, DS has Asthma which seems to only ever be triggered by colds and ciggie smoke. I recall visiting a friend of a friend who was a smoker but did not smoke while we were there, at the end of the visit we all hugged and left and within 30seconds of the hug DS had an attack, fairly bad one too. It proved to me that whilst he might be extra sensitive to smoke, just the remains on breath/clothes is enough to make a huge difference.

I agree with you OP but dictation is less effective than education and ffs wind your neck in!

I don't miss it AT all now. I have no desire to smoke and wish that Champix had been around when I was in my 20s. Yes, it's certainly not ideal to smoke whilst pregnant, but I do stand by my statement that help and education is far more appropriate than judging. There are still women out there who think that smoking will give them a smaller baby - making birth easier. That sort of myth needs to be smashed. I'm not condoning that I smoked, and I did feel incredibly guilty at what I was doing, but I was in the grip of a major addiction, and I DO have an addictive personality. You have less so.

The Visitor- you can't say you're more addicted than the next person and that's why you found it harder. I tried 8 times before I met my DH and I found it absolutely impossible. I was more addicted than any smoker I have ever met and I gave up instantly after being on between 20 and 40 a day. You can't make excuses and say this personality is more addictive than another one. I was in the "grip of a major addiction too!"

Well done for finding a way to give up that works for you. I truly applaud that and its great that you mentioend it on her as it may help others.

You can, actually, as it's been proven that some people are more likely to become addicted than others. If you google, you'll see a myriad of articles.

I detest smoking and only tried it once to see what is was like. Some smokers try to be considerate but my mum had to be the most selfish smoker ever. Chain smoked through her pregnancies, blew smoke into our faces feeding us, smoked non stop in the car even on long journeys, made us sit in the smoking sections of planes, buses etc. finally gave up (easily in the end) in her 50's to be become the worst anti-smoker, unfortunately she still died horribly a few years ago of lung cancer. loved her but as the child of a chain smoker - I absolutely hated the habit.

I am a very addictive personality (unfortunately)

Wish I wasn't!

I was more likely to be addicted than others- I was 17 and amoked until I was 35! I think people use "addictive personality" as am excuse. You can't tell me I wasn't in the grip of a major addiction or found it easy because I was less addicted than you. I was terrified of miscarrying or harming my baby. The total fear of that made me stop.

Its not matter of being "the victim" of an addiction. Addicts can and do stop.

But Nesta that's what you are saying.

A lot of us here are ex-smokers and found it really really difficult. We all seem to think it was harder for us than anybody else! But obviously that's not true. There are loads of factors involved in successfully quitting, it doesn't JUST boil down to our own hard work and willpower. I think we should cut each other a little slack while we are all trying our best.

Untitled

Sorry for your losses. The tone of some of these posts do not help at all. I wish you all the best.

What is champix? How does it work.

I'd love to give up properly. I gave up in my first pregnancy which ended up in a miscarriage (which I don't put down to previous smoking but rather to the general stats and the fact that I had two huge periods of illness in the first three months one of which ended up at casualty).

I then started to smoke again. We didn't get pregnant again so we had tests and my dh had fertility issues and we were put down for IVF. I then gave up work and did a huge health drive with no drinking or smoking. We got pregnant. I started again once ds had stopped breast feeding.

DS has no idea I smoke (it's lightly and away from him) but I want to stop again but with marriage issues (big), motherhood, working, and general running around like headless chicken I cannot find that space I had before to give up myself throught just thinking. So what's champix? I need some help this time around.

OP

You are being very holier than thou (except in your choice of language which is distinctly unholy, ). Not helpful

wukter- sorry, my post was directed at The Visitor. I took exception to how her saying she was "in the grip of a major addiction" is victim speak.

I know how hard it is to give up- as my post says, I tried 8 times and found it unfeasibly hard, so I do really sympathise with those struggling to give up.

What I don't agree with is people bleating on about how they are victims of an addiction or an addictive personality.

I'm not preaching or anything, fags are lovely, or this thread wouldn't exist. I just get impatient when the health of someone's baby becomes secondary to excuses about how stressful giving up is.

Victim speak my arse. I don't agree with you saying that I'm bleating on. That's insulting and offensive making me sound like a weak and pathetic person, which I can fecking assure you I am not! Fags aren't lovely, they're vile. I didn't choose to smoke that long, I was addicted and only found the true strength this year.

Giveitago - Champix is a drug which you can be prescribed via your smoking cessation nurse at your GP practice. You smoke for the first 10 days of taking it, then stop. I thought I'd be climbing the walls, but it was so, so easy. The drugs completely removed the desire to smoke.

And I'm out of here, as NestaknowitallFiesta is getting on my tits.

I think the "I'm addicted" talk can be used as a bit of an excuse really.

Anything can be used as an excuse.

But addiction is real.

hope you all find the strength to give up. As I said my mum died far too young a few years ago from lung cancer (she was a chain smoker but had given up about 8 yrs before her death). It was horrible nursing her and literally watch her die and struggle for her last breaths. Although I lover her very much (didn't realise how much till she was dying) her smoking and selfishness of how she smoked around us did affect our relationship and cause resentment, to say nothing of my children who will now grow up and never remember her - so your smoking can affect your children and your relationship - not just yourself. I also worry how all that second hand smoking and her chain smoking through her pregnancy has possibly affected my own health and lifespan.

Hope you are all able to give up.

I would argue that if someone is so very addicted that they find it almost impossible to give up that they should do all they can to get help and stop smoking before trying for a baby

It is not fair to inflict this on a baby, I don't care if it sounds holier than thou - I don't think anyone can say anything other than it is just not fair to do that