Can we agree on one thing?

[Serendippy]

The simple act of staying at home to look after your children or going out to work does not mean you have the harder life. Some people enjoy their jobs, some don't. Some people enjoy being at home with their children, some don't. So 'going out to work' is not necessarily harder than staying at home and vice versa.

I hate hearing the phrase, 'Being a SAHM is the hardest job' because that is clearly not universally true. If you left a job which you hated with long hours and colleagues you didn't get on with, it can be a relief to be at home. OTOH, if you left a stimulating job with lovely colleagues and friends and that you enjoyed, it could be boring to be at home with children.

Yes, if you go out to work, lots of 'SAHM jobs' still need to be done, but the job of looking after the children during the day is not one of them, you pay someone else to do it. So although it is not a job as in paid employment, it is something that needs to be done by somebody.

I really think that how hard your 'job' is depends on the circumstances.

AIBU to think that we can agree that sweeping statements such as 'I am a SAHM/WOHM so therefore I automatically have the harder life' are not accurate or helpful?

Wukter

A woman I thought was a friend welcomed me back to work with the words

' I really admire you. Especially as everyone thinks you hate your baby"

She then left an article on my desk about how early nursery years can damage children.

It is part of the reason judge shits annoy me.

:( pag that's weird!
Seren, well done! I will b checking though so if you're lying to me...

You can't be arsed to read through and you know it. Trust me...

Seren, sorry don't understand your point. I'm saying that women who can choose either have no right to moan on...

precious moments mamas finger paint,make cakes,do craft have widdle ones velcroed to them and never miss a "precious moment".they catch tadpoles in jars,go long walks and jolly muddy boots

all whilst working mums children are ignored by feral staff and left in draughty corridors. this they know because they met someone at bus stop/know someone/have cousin who worked in a nursery and she said they beat dem children

and they rock up on mn and say precious moments" too and "why have children if you let someone else watch them..

pagwatch - thats a shocker. there's normally a reason. whats her problem?

there's a woman I work with who talks about leaving her DC in the garage. I'm guessing she isn't a precious moments mummy

Ha! 'they beat dem children'. That made me giggle.

I mean, there's normally something bad going on/gone on in their lives for someone to be so cruel and unkind to someone else. In case thats not clear.

Taff

I think it was as simple as she wanted my job.
I was her boss.

I hope you sacked the bitch

miaow,she was mean

Naw, didn't sack her.
But someone else got my job when I left.
Nice person. Not mean one.

karma

Wow, pagwatch, I would just have made up a random insult, like 'really, everyone thinks you have incontinence/crabs/borderline personality disorder'

well, I would like to, but probably wouldn't have thought of it fast enough...

"I am actually asking a geninue question as I honestly think that SAHM's have an easier time (not with the under 5's and with children who are disabled or who need special care) but all you Mum's with school age children - what do you do during the day?"

My life became immeasurably harder the day my DD started school - only now, three years in, have I really come to grips with just how dreadful the first year was. Life was a doddle when she was a baby. Every year she is at school I get busier and busier.

Pagwatch.

nominating scottishmummy and pag for making the most sense of this ridiculous thread.

I nominate Seren. if only everyone had just read her OP and nodded to themselves thinking 'She's right you know'

yay!never been nominated for owt on mn except scottish hoor

Arriving late to this thread - how very mumsnetty that the first post after the OP was already the complete opposite...

From my personal experience only - being a SAHM to pre-school children was far harder than working. I worked (in a professional managerial position) when they were very small and frankly I enjoyed the break from them, however when ds was 2 and dd 3.5 I gave up work to be a SAHM and it was relentless. Full time SAHP-ing to pre-schoolers is energy sapping like nothing on earth

However, now as a SAHM to school aged children I personally (not all SAHMS) have it infinitely easier than WOHP, and I am not going to feel uncomfortable or guilty about that.... or fall into the trap that so many SAHP's do of thinking I need to justify that.

I dont think it really matters who's job is harder, all that matters in the end is that both parents are contributing equally to the running of the household whether that be keeping the house in order or financially and of course proving support etc to each other and the children.

There are many cogs in my house and FWIW my DP is about to become the SAHD and I'm going to work - it's just a financial thing - we both need to do what is best for our DD and her upbringing....am I rambling or have I made a point that is at least comprehendable??

*providing