young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

Xpost, Jess. I don't know about most men, but most men aren't punters. I'm guessing that most punters would happily reverse the situation, but on their own terms and conditions (just as the women do.)

And the attitude of being able to buy a woman whenever they feel like it isn't going to help that sense of entitlement that men feel over women one iota. It's one of the reasons why I object so strongly to lap dancing clubs and prostitution.

It constantly amazes me that so many women are prepared to defend men's right to buy a woman's body - a woman who has potentially been abused/exploited/trafficked - because that's basically what defending prostitution is.

Ok, bowing out now. My blood pressure can't take this anymore!

Like I said earlier in the thread the club I danced for also owned a parlour/escort agnecy and on occassions were dancers were on holiday/off sick escorts would fill in for them. I met and befriended many escorts in this way.

I was told about the club by a friend who happened to be an escort.

My best friend used to work as a male/gay escort.

I have been speaking about escorting and the experiences they shared with me.

Yes there are peopel forced and coerced into prostitution. Abuse does happen. I fully accept that. But it is not always the case. The girl in the op, as has been pointed out before, is not working in the steets or for a seedy backstreet brothel, she is not being controlled by a pimp, she is woorking for herself, via what appears to be a reputable agency.

She had the chance to leave escorting when she left London but chose not to.

I'm not defending men's right to buy a body. I'm defending the right of the OP's relative (who does not seem to be co-erced or trafficked) to carry out a legal business.

Last post - OLKK, I think your idea of punters is a very kind one. I think most of them don't give a shit about the woman they are shagging.

The guy who used to work for me slept with one abroad (because in this country it would be seedy of course). He asked the girl if she enjoyed her job. She said, "sometimes".

That eased his conscience and he shagged away.

What a moron! What did he think she was going to say? No, I bloody hate sleeping with a load of scumbag drunken English men who all think they are the best thing ever in bed. I think that would have made his erection wilt a bit, if she'd have said that.

On the face of it escort agencies appear to be legitimate but they are not, I am afraid. Where do you get the info that the OP's relative is not coerced or trafficked?

Well, the op (who knows her more than you or I, Scurry) is happy that she is doing it because she wants the money and I am accepting that as the truth.

And the fact that she 'tried once' stopped ad then went back to it, suggests some element of choice.

I know one girl who was an escort, not pretty, not even fit but willing to do what the wives and girlfriends wouldn't basically and often that was simple straight sex.
But god she was a fcuked up little bunny, no self esteem, no relationships with anyone not even her family.
I do not believe anyone comes through prostitution unscathed and healthy.
Have we mentioned safety of this young girl ? The person I knew was earning £3k a week at times, didn't make up for her being used as a punch bag though.

There's no suggestion in anything the Op said that her relative was coerced etc; why assume she is? And that's a very sweeping statement about agencies; of course, their work is in a somewhat grey area legally but just because something may be illegal, doesn't mean it's automatically unethical.

Sigh.....I give up....am off to bed.

You seem to know them terribly well, dittany. Where do you meat all these scumbag punters?

meet even.

[was that Freudian? )

Just because the "customers" wouldn't do the job for the wages doesn't mean that there is something inherently wrong with the industry. I wouldn't work in a coffee shop for the wages baristas are paid but that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with that industry.

How on earth could I speak for a scumbag hypocritical punter when I've never met one? You just seemed awfully familiar with them to be able to make such sweeping statements about their behaviour and feelings.

Where does your knowledge come from?

Dittany >>>Well obviously she doesn't have the right to say no because everybody, including her, needs money to survive.

she's had several jobs - she can earn enough to get by but this pays loads and she wants more money than she can get in other jobs.
Anyfucker I posted because whilst I have no problem with what she chooses to do I do have a problem with being hassled by others and wanted to see what sort of reaction I'd get here before I risked getting aggresive "why don't you stop her this is appaling" type comments F2F

dittany, the word "guess" is the important one there. It means, "I don't really know".

HTH. :)

Dittany >>If a woman liked having sex with lots of strangers she wouldn't need paying for it.

I can't be the only one who has (I admit) lain back and thought of England occasionally when dh is overly frisky

I think you might be.