young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

Dittany: people on this thread have advocated the OP telling everyone that her relative is a sex worker and that the OP is appalled by it. How's that supposed to be a good thing either for the relative or for other women in the industry against their wishes?
WRT flowers, sexual assault and violence are risked by the women exploited in the flower industry. Do you think that this justifies telling women who grow and sell flowers from choice and without exploiting others that they should not do so, because they are involved in an industry wherein other women are exploited and abused? After all, no one needs flowers.

Good point Dittany!

I have a friend who refuses to travel to a country where prostitution has been legalised. NZ and certain states in Australia are off her list. I admire her stance on that.

I think it's immoral that men are sent the message that it's acceptable to use and abuse women simply because they can afford to. And everyone else shrugs their shoulders and says, 'it's the oldest profession so what can you do?'

huddspur just to go back to your post earlier on, it's not a moral issue so much as a class issue and the way the class system has always been used to exploit women. It's also a bodily integrity issue in the sense, I suppose, that human beings have to ask themselves how much "use" and commodification is acceptable for the human body.
Well, I say human body, but what we're really talking about here is women's bodies. Women are somehow regarded as different. Society does not protect their orifices, their wombs, their bodily tissue (eggs) and all of these female body parts are wantonly available for rent or sale.
Seeling a kidney is not okay, the commodification of human body parts is not okay, and yet women are given discount prices for fertility treatment if they allow doctors to harvest them for eggs, which is selling.
Renting body parts out is also not okay, because it's commodification.
Society has a choice whether or not to cross this line, and it has chosen to cross it for the sake of the male orgasm, and to line the pockets of the profiteers

I would really like those who have defended prostitution, especially those who do it vicariously i.e those who defend it but have not been prostitutes themselves, to tell me that they would like their son or daughter to be penetrated by men for money. And if they can't can, (which they can't) then can they ask themselves why it's okay for the "sex class/ prostitute class" to do so?

SGB: no one is bullying AZM, not at all. But a lot of us get worked up about prostitution and will continue to do so until a job where women and girls are faced with violence as a matter of routine merely to service men is seen for what it is. Making it nicer for punters does not solve the core problems.

Still reeling from reading that she's with a 'reputable agency'!! What?? She's being fucked for money - but they have good reputation?

I'd tell people exactly what she is. She's a whore. I'd tell her that she's putting her gender to shame, she's embarrassing the family and she's got no real self-respect and should have any because she hasn't accomplished anything with her life.

Jenny: I am not talking about AZM here, but the (unnamed) relative of the OP. THe OP has been told to tell everyone else that the girl is a sex worker in the hope of shaming/forcing her into stopping. That's bullying.

StuffingGoldBrass - the whole flower thing is a crap argument.

Bullying? Bullying someone into getting some self-respect. I'd call that an 'intervention', not bullying. And who cares if it is anyway.

And if it was risky heroin instead of risky get attacked or raped would it still be bullying to force her to stop?

I hate the word 'whore'. I don't believe any prostitute is putting her gender to shame either. I don't feel shamed by her behaviour but saddened that some women have so few options but to commodify themselves.

Blame the system that tolerates prostitution or the men who use women this way.

It's wrong to condemn the women, especially with a term that's been used by men to debase, dehumanise and humiliate women.

That's what most os us are doing Blinder.

SGB: take your point. FWIW I think the OP should ask her relative what she would like her to say when people ask. Really though it should be the men who use these services who have to deal with explaining away their behaviour not the women who service them. If it's perfectly legitimate it shouldn't pose a problem.

If someone is taking heroin, it's actually up to them to decide when to stop. It is not another person's job to use force or emotional blackmail: as any outreach worker will tell you, it's ineffective as well as unethical.
In the case of this young woman, she is not her family's property and it is not their job to punish her for choosing sex work.

It's protection, not punishment. And you're right she's not her family's property she's everyone's and anyone's.

New Zealand had a WOMAN prime minister when it was passed:
Indeed if a someone is out to harm others no amount of legislation will change that, that is not exclusive to prostitution.

Over 65% of prostitutes across the board feel they are more able to refuse clients since the new law was introduced.

2.7 Committees conclusion
"Arguments that decriminalisation has increased the numbers of workers in the sex industry are largely founded on the flawed assumption that decriminalising will increase the number of people in prostitution. THE COMMITTEE IS SATISFIED THAT SUCH ASSUMPTIONS ARE UNFOUNDED."

Adverse Experiences while working in the last 12 months
10% physically assaulted
4 % raped
(taken the average) what was it you quoted earlier dittany? It was well over 50% if I recall, do not have time to go back and read, however highlights gross exaggeration.

Of those feeling in a position to comment, the majority (70%) felt sex workers were now more likely to report incidents of violence to the police. However following it through to court is a different matter. STIGMATA

Did you read the reasons why it seemed there was in influx dittany? it was explained I had a feeling you would gloss over that part, I read the report in detail, it was because when they took the first head count Auckland City did not count those that they knew were working yet not visible like other areas, on the next report they included them, that is why it seems there was an influx when in reality there was none.

Look at the reasons why people go into prostitution, you will have us all believe it is to fund habits, while reality paints a different picture, what figures of addicts do you have for street prostitution dittany? Will it surprise you to see that the truer figure is around 50%? Which means half of them are doing it to buy houses/cars/support the family/luxuries just like any other sex worker. ONLY 17% of street workers say they stay because they cannot get help to leave.

It has it problems, but on the whole if you read the report and even look at the statistics by large the game has improved for workers, yes there will be someone that will prey on prostitutes and murder/rape them as they are a soft option, if they are predisposed to do so then take away prostitutes it will not suddenly stop them from doing it to someone else.

A few truths and facts and figures go a long way do you not think? No agendas no political or moral motivations just pure facts.

1 Jan 2011 ... A murderer is at large in England, police warned in connection with a case that has gripped the country for more than two weeks.

Police search drains close to murdered Bristol woman's - This is ...
6 Jan 2011 ... This morning uniformed police officers in Bristol were searching drains in the streets surrounding Joanna Yeates's Clifton flat.

Woman murdered after crying wrong name during sex - Telegraph
A mother of two was murdered by her angry live-in-lover after she accidentally cried out another man's name as they had sex.

Barrhead woman murdered after 'violent and sustained attack ...
Lynne Farquhar was found dead in her home at the weekend.

Shahla Jahed: Iran executes woman accused of murdering lover's ...
1 Dec 2010 ... Shahla Jahed, convicted of murdering the wife of an Iranian footballer, was hanged before morning call to prayer, reports say.

Murder Of Woman In North West London Linked To Death Of Man Who ...
16 Oct 2010 ... The murder of a woman in north west London has been linked to the death of a man whose body was found an hour later.

Jogger finds woman murdered on riverside path - Crime, UK - The ...
19 Jan 2010 ... The body of a young woman murdered as she walked home on an unlit riverside footpath was found by a jogger, police revealed today.

first page of google all woman murdered I have not checked all stories but most of them if not all of them does not have a prostitute in sight

Shilling for the sex industry and defending men's right to buy and sell women is one of the most disgusting anti-woman agendas a person can have.

And your right to speak to those that work within the law like this is what?
It is my body, my mind to do with as I please thank you very much.