young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

As far as I'm aware the law isn't against the Police Officer, they are far more protected than most. But our laws and society is against prostitutes and they are demonised far more than the men that exploit them. Whenever you read anything about rape prostitutes are by far the most vulnerable, both to be raped, report rape and to get a conviction for the rapist.

and our society

This thread is really interesting.
dittany how would a ban on prostitution work without criminalising prostitutes themselves as it is a 2 way exchange. Would a ban be effective or would it simply be similar to most bans where all it would do would be create a sinister black market.

Thinking about it I think we'd be better off legalising as AZM suggests as like it or not there are always going to people who want to pay for sex and other people who will happily oblidge them for the right fee. I suppose it comes down to whether you have any moral issues with women selling their bodies for sex though.

For all you pro sex industry posters, I have a question

Would you be happy for your daughter to be a sex worker?

No thought not, funny that.

But Dittany when you criminalise the punters then prostitutes will have no choice but to see punters they otherwise would decline as they will have to take desperate measures to make money.

Punters will be more hesitant about giving their details for screening (ladies sometimes ask for details like ID amongst other things to prevent problems).

The industry will be driven further underground and clandestine and that is not safe.

Also, this is just my personal opinion as someone who has been a prostitute, but if buying sex was made illegal full stop then the more decent punters who just want to buy a service without the risk of arrest (who have jobs, families etc) will be put off, and those who are perhaps unsavoury and reckless will make up the majority of customers.
When I worked as a prostitute those who were convinced that buying sex was illegal and said so were the ones who tended to be a bit unsavoury and furtive.

Again I ask would you be happy for your daughter to be a sex worker?

Again no I thought not

LOL at the idea that the men with jobs and families are the 'decent' ones - not at all unsavoury

Does it matter whether the girls parents are happy with what they do. If they are over 18 then their parents views don't matter

Dittany - Those women picked up two men together at a pub. It is an unwritten law in escorting that you do not allow two men together to visit unless you have a male security guard. I'm serious - No-one I know/knew would have done such a thing. Two men together are usually planning on a robbery, and that can go very wrong.

Wrong Margaret - I have seen first hand that rape is rarely taken seriously when reported by a sex worker, and conviction rate is very very low. The police simply do not care about sex workers.

There was a case recently where a receptionist at a flat with 3 girls working had reported an attack on one of the girls - there was evidence to prove it but the man got off scot-free despite it being proven it was him, and the women got convicted of "running a brothel"

Makes sense? . Not.

Huddspur, exactly.

In Sweden it is illegal to pay for sex but not to be a prostitute - like Dittany said it is the scumbags that use their economic power to stick their cock in vulnerable women who should be prosecuted

For those of you that claim prostitution is a free choice, then why does it seem that the majority of women who are prostitutes are those with the least choices?

gretalse, I take it you are not a parent

gretalse I ask again if you had a daughter (I am presuming you don't) would you be happy about her being a prostitute?

I did not ask whether your views would count in relation to the choices of said daughter, just what would you feel about it?

Roseabilly I have already answered that up thread re- my daughter.

Whether or not you morally object to married men visiting prostitutes (and my views on this would take an era to post, and are not exactly what you would expect), when working as a Sex Worker you can be vulnerable and so want to take the more low-risk option for yourself whether or not you agree with it morally. For me, married men were the most low risk option for these reasons -

1. someone must have found them reasonable and socially ok enough to marry them.

2. they usually have more to lose and so behave better as you will have taken down their registration plate when you saw them arrive and said to them sweetly when they called for the address "Oh yes, I see you in the red skoda?" - they know addresses can be easily traced from vehicles. And they usually don't even think to use a second phone (as many on the relationships forum will contest to) so a little call when their wife is around could cause problems.

It is the guys who are 50 and never had a relationship I was most wary of. There must be a reason for women all running from them, and I didn't want to find out.

3. They are usually just after sexual services, not a 'girlfriend' therefore much less risk of stalker-ish behaviour

I don't have a daughter only a son

For those of you that claim prostitution is a free choice, then why does it seem that the majority of women who are prostitutes are those with the least choices?

This is untrue. The majority of street prostitutes don't have other choices to start with as the vast majority are drug addicts and even have their dignity and futures taken away by the law (see my other post). A woman who chooses to do this without drug addiction has as many choices as any other woman. It is absurd to say they don't. I made that choice, as did hundreds of other women I came across and knew personally in parlours or escort work. They could have chosen to do anything else to survive - the benefits system in this country thankfully makes it unlikely anyone will starve or have no roof over their head. They chose it, as did I, hopefully going into it educated about the risks.

Alien - you said you would not be 'estatic' if your dd wanted to be a sex worker. I presume the reasons for this are because of your own misgivings about the job? I would also presume that these misgivings include reasons why sex work is demeaning for women. If it is not right for our daughters why should it be right for any woman?

gretalse - Would you mind your son being paid for penetration then?

AZM "Wrong Margaret - I have seen first hand that rape is rarely taken seriously when reported by a sex worker, and conviction rate is very very low. The police simply do not care about sex workers."

That's what I was saying, therefore a Police office is not comparable on the vulnerable stakes.

Are you really suggesting that prostitution is filled, mainly, with women who choose to be one....now I give up. What a load of nonsense.

dittany: I would hazard an uneducated guess that BDSMers are more likely advocate sex work because they believe power is an intrinsic element to sex.

I did not blame the women! Please do not spout rubbish against me. I meant that it was highly unlikely had they followed procedures that two men would have been allowed in.

I did not blame RMott either - I simply stated that yes, this is an example of what this type of work can do to someone if they are not suited to it.

Thing is you weren't suited to the job either. You stopped servicing the cock because it messed with the rest of your life in particular your relationship. And if you were honest you'd acknowledge that that's what it does to women in prostitution. That's why you got so offended when I spelled out what prostitution is - having a man's penis inside you that you don't want. Apparently it's disgusting to spell it out. What actually is disgusting is men doing that to women and thinking the right because they pay them

How very insulting of you when you know so little of my personal circumstances to STATE how it was for me. I stopped "servicing the cock" - what a load of rubbish.
Despite being a feminist, you have already shown that you do not believe that women in prostitution know their own minds at all.

It did not mess with my "life" other than in my relationship

And if I were honest I would acknowledge that that is what it does to women in prostitution? I thought I had clearly stated a lot of the harm and negatives which can be caused?

This is what I get for being honest is it? You telling me about my own life?

But AZM you just contradicted yourself. Yes exactly drug addiction, poverty and sexual abuse probably account for a lot of street prostitutes. Not exactly a free choice is it?

But of course escort workers are above this domain of vulnerability? But that view in itself is disempowering women because it creates a kind of sex industry hierarchy which further demeans street workers. So the more decent men who pay for sex (you know the less creepy ones because they are married and have more money ) go to the escorts and the violent women hating scumbags go to the lowly street workers

Very empowering to women

Nothing to say really, except that I (heart) dittany.

She speaks the most sense that I've heard in a long time.

Roseabilly I believe that there are hazards to the job which need to be considered carefully, therefore I would be happier if she did something else. I would feel the same if she went into the army, which is unsafe and morally objectionable (to myself).

I am astounded that a woman who exchanges money in return for fucking, sucking, wanking, pretending to be the girlfriend/friend/lover, submitting/dominating/dressing up/talking dirty or whatever it was you did or didn't do, AZM that you take such offence to the terminology dittany uses.