young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

Exactly the same as I did sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day wishing the clock would hit home time, you get on with it and think of the pay packet.
Is it abuse for my boss to make me work until 5pm when I did not want to be there?

At least if I don't want another penis I can simply switch my phone off, I do always have the option to say no, I would love to see how a boss would react to that one, I have more feedom over my mind and body than I do as a wage slave.

If she's really happy doing it OP then I don't think you should interfer as its her life afterall and she probably won't appreciate you butting in if its not wanted.

Blueshoes
It can be hard to leave yes, as many get used to the fast money and find it hard to live on a 'normal' wage afterwards. I don't think I would go back to it unless I really needed the money. If I did I would not feel bad about myself at all though.

Most men are not happy with it at all. You do find a few who would be, but most escorts don't even date whilst they are working I have found. I had been escorting for 6 months before I met my (now ex but not because of the job)P. I told him early in the relationship - 4 months in just before I was getting the vibes that we would soon have sex for the first time. He did not react well at first and I offered to just do massage and hand relief, or webcam or phone sex (can be quite lucrative too, and no contact) but he came to see it as I did, just a job. We set 'rules' whereby I wouldn't answer the phone in front of him etc. Was a bit weird not really talking to him about my job, as most couples do. When we were discussing having kids he started expressing doubts and so then I switched to just massage and hand relief, and both times I was pregnant I only did phone sex, however that did affect us financially. I think it would have caused more problems had he demanded I give it up straight after I told him, or if I refused to compromise at the start by offering to just do webcams etc.

Would I reveal it to someone I know? well because some people have such negative views of Sex Work and may cause problems with gossip etc, I would only reveal if I got to know them really well and was sure they wouldn't start some kind of smear campaign in the school or anything! I would not feel ashamed or anything though.

I have never been found out by anyone I did not want to know.

My DD is still too young to even understand sex but I will probably tell her when she is an adult. I would not be ecstatic if she did become a Sex Worker, and I would not openly encourage it, but if she did choose as an adult I would give her safety advice etc. There are forums for Sex Workers run by women who do the job themselves and they will say (as will I) that someone has to decide to do this job themselves and seek out info etc, it is quite immoral to encourage them because of the chance (not definite like some people would have you believe on here) but there is a chance they will be damaged emotionally. Most just try it out and if it doesn't work for them, leave unscathed, but for a few they will carry shame etc forever so prob not best to "recruit" or suggest it to anyone.

In 2009, over 3000 prostitutes went to an outreach van in Bristol...they all needed help. Prostitutes' victimisation and mistreatment are examples of the embodiment of the beliefs that women are expected to adhere to narrow standards of appropriate sexuality and are defined as the sexual property of men, according to research.

Escorts are paid a lot more money than an on the street whore who is touting through car windows.

When you work for an Escort agency, the person goes through the Agency first. The Agency takes the details and calls the Escort. She then phones the bloke back and arranges a price. The Agency gets a £.. introduction fee.

If anyone on here thinks that a bloke paying £100's of £'s through an escort agency thinks he is getting a charming young lady to take to dinner and after a few dates, off on a cruise - bless you.

Escort is an acronym for prostitute - whatever way you look at it. The simple part is that if an agency are only charging a fee for introduction, then they cannot be charged for pimping as they know nothing of what ensues. This is how they are allowed to operate above the law without charge. If you are caught flashing your gash on the street for the purpose of selling it, you are in trouble for soliciting.

Oh and I forgot to add this. Escorts who are lively young things are usually caught up in the drugs scene. The owner or friend of the Agency will make you their friend unless of course, you haven't already got a boyfriend/pimp who has put you up for this. Lots of white girls get caught up in this when they get involved with different cultures.

Does your other job make you more likely to be raped, catch STDs or at the mercy of a man's wallet?

Responsible Sex Workers will always use protection, so the risk of catching an STI is very slim to none.

Does your conscience allow you to forget that you are part of an industry that thrives on the get rich quick with the least effort and part of the industry trafficks women and children, worldwide and in the UK?

If you work for any company which have unethical practises (Primark, Nestle etc) do you feel happy you are supporting that? When I worked for a recently opened Asda store I felt bad that local businesses were being shut down because of it.

Does your conscience allow you to think about the drug addict giving a blow job for a bag of smack?

Why would that situation be on my personal conscience? What the government should be focussing on is better treatment programs for drug addicts, not just endless methadone scripts (I have knowledge of this in my new field and it has been proven it just does not work, but is cheap. Are they doing anything else like rehab which has been proven to work? barely). Less money into stupid un-enforcable laws, more to the people who need it.

Does your conscience allow you to accept that spreading this happy hooker myth you are in danger of persuading a vulnerable young woman that selling her body is a good idea?

I guess that was not aimed at me since I am not spreading any happy hooker myth, I'm just telling it like it is and have been also highlighting bad sides to the industry, however not everything is black and white, prostitution is not inherently wrong.

Prostitution is not for everyone but it is for me.
I am a law abiding citizen that pays her tax what I chose to do legally for money is not your place to debate. - Margaret

Well said.

AnyFucker See my post to BlueShoes x

Dittany
I do not believe that men who see prostitutes are the scum of the planet - that is actually a very insulting thing to say about a huge number of men. Why make sweeping statements like that? It is ridiculous and only YOUR view.
I met many nice men, I met many non-descript men and I met a number of men who I did think of as scum yes. But not by far ALL.

"What's it like having a penis inside you that you don't want there?" - That is a fucking disgusting thing to say, very insulting. Some women do not mind, it is work, but your description is utterly out of order, in my opinion.

I do not believe much in marriage either, for a whole lot of (probably similar) reasons.

Why should it be like any other industry?
The Tesco checkout girl would not care she would serve the next customer

It shouldn't , and isn't if you are suited to the work.

Oh and I forgot to add this. Escorts who are lively young things are usually caught up in the drugs scene. The owner or friend of the Agency will make you their friend unless of course, you haven't already got a boyfriend/pimp who has put you up for this. Lots of white girls get caught up in this when they get involved with different cultures

What utter claptrap. Seriously, did you get this from CSI or similar? I know many many many escorts, and only 2 are caught up in a drug scene.

Dittany Those reports are all based on street prostitution, where it is already illegal to buy or sell sex. I have already illustrated why and how things got more dangerous for street women when legislation was introduced criminalising kerb crawling. Making it illegal indoors too will make statistics the same for indoor prostitutes and endanger them. I cannot emphasise this point enough.

Do you have a link which will say that anywhere in that report data from indoor prostitution was used?

AZM, thanks for your explanation. I don't think you are glamorising prostitution at all. You have a level headed approach to it.

Can I ask whether you are using your medical degree.

AZM....do you always avoid questions about sex work because they are too difficult to answer?

WE are not talking about Asda, Nestle or anything else are we?

Isn't the level of risk irrelevant if the woman who work in the industry are not being forced into it. If they choose to take the risk of violence/STIs etc then it is their choice.
Forced prostitution is wrong obviously as it is a form of forced labour but if the women (and men) who work in the sex industry are there of their own accord then why should anyone stop them.

I don't have a doctorate or anything like that. I have a degree in a medical field.

If I wanted a doctorate, with the time it takes and the massive loans for that I would still be a prostitute now probably!

Currently I am a SAHM but I did use the degree yes, and will do soon.

This is another reason why I am opposed to certain legislation which is being proposed now in parliament looking at criminalising the selling of sex. What I did was legal, I paid taxes and even had health and safety signs in my workplace! So I ran no risk of a criminal record which would have prevented me from getting a job. It is the case for Street Workers now though that if they are caught soliciting they get a fine (how else are they going to pay it unless go out on the street to make the fine?) then if caught another twice they get a criminal record AND put on the SEX OFFENDERS REGISTER - they get very little drug counselling or help . How are they ever going to get a job in the future with that on their record? . I have personally seen this happen as I volunteered in a project to help Street Workers. The law is all wrong.

If prostitution indoors is made illegal (holding a lease on premises where you are sharing working with a friend for safety is already illegal) then people like me would not be able to get a job in the future or even study in some cases or move abroad. For what? Selling a service as a consenting adult? It's nuts.

People who have risky jobs are protected - police officers get stab vests, firefighters get breathing apparatus, but prostituted women are expected to go and have sex with men who may think that strangling and beating them is a good idea

Police Officers also always do their job with another officer in tow for safety(have you ever seen a police officer out singularly?). Prostitutes are not allowed by law to work together for safety without running the risk of one of them being prosecuted. If they employ security he will get prosecuted.

Another point I cannot stress enough.

Believe me these few men intent on harm do not get away with it in premises where they know there is a few women there at the same time, or even better a burly security guard like they have at some parlours. They need to isolate the women and get her alone where there is no help to do these crimes.

*in order to commit their crime I meant