"Ds1, please don't use your willy as a stylus for the DS Lite"

[coldtits]

"Ds2, you don't do it either, please. PANTS ON for all activities except the bath and the toilet. No, I don't want to see you shake it. Thanks. Or poking it out of the side of your pants. FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU'RE 7 AND 4, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO NOT WEAR PANTS!!!"

oooooooo - GFDM got a message from On High!

When I go back to my Mum and Dads house now, you can still hear my brothers being constantly told to "get your hand out of your trousers" or my personal favourite (which works a lot better on a gullible 3 year old) "If you keep pulling it, it's going to drop off and a birdie will come along and eat it up". The birdie one is from my Nan,

Oh and I should add my brothers are 19 and 20!

PMSL at Loveu's nan threatening her grown up grandsons!

I'm envisioning the choice of name having set off sirens and flashing lights at MNHQ..

Maybe they had to change the lightbulb snowpoint - like on Red Dwarf for the threat level.

Ooo she's in trouble!!!
my Ds willy story is kind of disturbing but cute. DS aged about 3.5 at the time and DD 1 at the time are having a lovely time running around in the nudey and giggling. Suddenly the giggling turns into massive hysterics from both of them. After several minutes I go to see what lovely bonding moment they are having. DS is standing in front of DD and she is whacking his willy making it fly about....pants on most of the time after that!!!

DS1 (4) talks about his willy 'beeping' (throbbing) a few times a day. DS2 (2) always insists on rubbing the talc in 'there' after a bath. All hell breaks loose if you try to do it for him!

I remember that one time ds (who's now in Y2) ran as usual at full pelt out of the school gate when in Reception, and crashed straight into the barrier.

He came walking back very oddly, clutching his willy and saying very loudly "Mummy, I hurt my willy" and crying. I said I'd have a look at home, but although I bent down to cuddle him, I had hysterical giggles at the same time. And some smirks on the faces of other parents.

We got home a minute later and he was insistent on whipping his trousers down for me to check in front of a very large front room window. No harm done though, except to his pride.

I thought I had no willy stories, but just recalled one that happened to one of our foster children.

He would've been about 12 at the time, and decided, whilst peeing, to see if his willy would fit on the loo edge, under the loo seat. The loo seat being held slightly away from the ceramic bowl by about 3 buttons or studs (normal set up, sorry if makes no sense).

Anyway, he bends down, positions his willy on the ceramic bowl, then drops the toilet lid down. Hard. But the gap is less than he thought and he had a very flat willy!!

He bellowed, my mum came but had to get someone else as well for risk of allegations. Bless him - he was v embarressed!

HaveAHappyNewJung - I've just choked on a mouthful of tea & spat it all over my leg & the floor laughing at that :-)

DH was once putting DS to bed and DS announced "I can see inside myself". How is that then, wondered DH. So DS yanked down his PJ trousers and pulled back his foreskin hard so show Daddy "the inside of himself" .

It doesn't stop. When they're grown up, they can join the Royal Marines and have the pleasures (?) of calling "Naked Bar!"

One war tourist in Iraq left his camera unattended: "Helicopters he wanted, choppers he got".

DS (9) likes to play "stealth willy" - he hides silently with it hanging out to see if he can make us jump.

DS aged 3 has discovered Tickle me Elmo - lying face down on Elmo saying 'can you go out now?' Glad the private moment has kicked in!

All went very quiet last night as DS was supposedly cleaning his teeth...

Me: "Are you ok?"

DS(3): "Oh yes mummy, my toothbrush is painting my willy"

yukkkkkk

Snowpoint a friend of mine found her 10 year old DS's favourite teddy with what looked like two gashes and his stuffing coming out. At first they were more perpturbed that it may of shown violent tendecies. His Dad finally got out of him that he has been 'practising', they were then worried as he had cut TWO holes

:o this has to have been the funniest thread I've ever read!

Oh God, oldraver, that brings new meaning to it being his favourite teddy! Urrrgh

Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl
Please let #3 be another girl

My DS had a wee out of the cat flap X

Ds(3) is currently going through an argumentative phase.

Over the past few days when told to stop playing with his willy he has come out with the following

'I'm not playing with it I'm fiddling with it'

'I'm not playing with it I'm stroking it'

'I'm not playing with it I'm making it go big'

'But I like it'

'Huh, not fair, I want to play with it'

'If you tell me to stop playing with my willy I will be very cross with you and I won't be your best friend any more'

He also likes to put things inside his foreskin

DS (17 mos) is simply highly amused by willies - entertaining enough to see how much he laughs at his own in the bath, but even better when he sees DH getting dressed - stands there pointing and laughing louder than he laughs at anything else! Poor DH is getting a complex even though his is about 50x bigger!

Someone told their DS to play with his willy in private? That's going to come back and haunt you.

God I have all this to come. Ds likes to poke his and watch it get bigger, he finds it hysterical. The first time he did it I called for dh to check if it was normal and I should ignore or discourage it. He told me to ignore and not make it seem like a big deal. Yesterday he farted in the hallway ( big, stinky , ripper) and then ran through the house holding his bum, saying 'oh no, my bum!'