to think that some smokers are selfish f****?

[glitzalicious]

so DH and I took my mum (who we rarely see for geographical reasons) and 9-month-old DS for lunch at a pricey restaurant in London today. It was freezing but there were no seats available inside, so at the suggestion of the waitress we sat at a table outside, near a patio heater, and ordered what looked set to be a very nice lunch.
A few minutes after we sat down, a woman in her 50s and her younger male companion came and sat on the table next to us, and both proceeded to light up cigarettes, inches from DS's face (the tables were extremely close together, and he was sitting on my mum's lap, happily eating his lunch). DH very politely asked the man if they would mind not smoking so close to the baby, to which he replied: "It's a free country". His leather-faced companion then gestured to a table at the other end of the al fresco area, with no heater anywhere near, and said: "Nobody's stopping you from moving". DH was quite stunned, and said: 'I think that's quite inconsiderate; it's really bad for the baby", and the bloke said: "I know", before shrugging his shoulders and turning back to his haggard old witch of a friend. I couldn't believe that people could be so selfish; to expect my DS (who had been sitting there before them) to either inhale all of their carcinogens (the fact the guy acknowledged that his habit was harmful to DC was quite shocking) or freeze, just so they could get their nicotine fix. Why the f* did they not move? We did get up and try to cancel our order; it was too late so we had to sit, completely freezing, in the heater-free zone. I have no axe to grind with smokers; if someone chooses to poison their own body it's no one's business but their own. But I would never think that others should suffer just so I could indulge a habit, and if someone were to ask me to stop doing something (talking too loudly in a restaurant etc) I would be so mortified at the prospect of impacting someone's enjoyment of their meal I would stop immediately, as they have just as much right to a nice lunch/dinner out as I do.
People always go on about a 'right to smoke': AIBU to think that right extends only to a smoker's home, or a child-free area? My blood is still boiling over those bastards!

I just read that they were only having a coffee and they sat down between two families with kids...no, YANBU- they were rude.

I'm all for being able to smoke where it's permitted, but surely good manners have their place?

It would be different if they were sitting over their doinner, smoking, and the OP would come and tell them to put their cigarettes out.

YABVU and sound very self-obsessed and self-important.

Why should the smokers have moved?

To be honest there is no way I would have sat outside with my baby when it is this cold. That's a bit selfish IMO.

I'm not keen on outside.

YABU. True, the smokers did not behave with common decency, but Glitz you did not behave with common sense.

In a country where smoking inside a restaurant is banned, it is only natural that the smokers will sit outside, if you didn't realise that before, then you have learnt a valuable lesson: People do not have to be nice to you because you have a baby.

I am interested in a restaurant sooo good that it can get away with only having two inside tables and fools will still chose to eat there in January. What has this place got that you could not get elsewhere, indoors, IN LONDON on a cold January day?

But it isn't v.simple. Obviously OP would have preferred to be inside in the non-smoking area, but going inside was not an option. And the fact that it's a pricey restaurant is relevant in that they had paid a high price with the expectation of enjoying their meal, and so did not feel able to leave.

Just OMG at the OP here. A walk down a London street in heavy traffic will do your child far more harm than the leftover smoke from a fag being smoked outside in the wind. OP needs to get a firm grip, ask someone to slap her until she snaps out of it and next time go someplace where the precious non-smokers can sit INSIDE.

But the smokers were cold and wanted to sit by the heater in the smoking area. Why should they freeze their nuts off because someone with little thought for their young baby chooses to eat outside in a smoking area in January?

There are countless restaurants in London, I'm sure they weren't all full.

I'm not keen on mayfair prefer B & H

YABU

there we go, job done

And anyway, it can't be that much of an upmarket gaff if it only has two inside tables for crying out loud.

It is V simple Fuzzy...she should have put her child before her need to eat at that particular place.

usual coooeee its been a while, where have you been hiding?

hello MRB I've been around

Actually I thought OP's use of adjectives really made a simple story hugely entertaining and interesting to read. Like reading a good book, the author gives you just enough information to paint a picture.

But fuzzy with only 2 tables inside, they knew before they ordered that they would have to sit outside. Which was a smoking area. And cold. Yet they chose to pay the high price. So the fact it was pricy works against the OPs argument as she could have weighed up the price against the fact there were no warm, comfortable inside tables and gone somewhere else.

Thanks minimathsmouse, my DH was incredibly polite when he asked and they could have just moved their fags so that the smoke wasn't blowing in the baby's face; they had no intention of doing this. Two of my closest friends are smokers; when we're out for dinner and they smoke they usually always ask people on the tables nearby if they mind before they light up. Usually they say it's fine, but if someone objects they'll step away to have a fag and no one's offended, even if it is their 'right' to smoke in their (outdoor) seats. Their smoking has never bothered me as they never do it around my DS!

C'mon, tell the truth now. Stop messing about.

You didn't really move yourself and what's more your baby to an unheated table in the freezing cold for the duration of an entire meal just because someone who was legally smoking in the open air refused to move when you asked them to, did you? Not really?

Really?

Btw, which restaurant was it? If it's that good as to incite people to freeze their rocks off just to savour the food I think we should be told.

YABU eating your lunch outside in this weather, if there were no places at the restaurant i would have gone elsewhere. I do agree with the majority, that the outside is for smokers, and that you could have moved. I am a non smoker btw.

(i cant have a real one, remember what i was trying for? well it happened :) )

OP says "I don't think a baby is any kind of 'trump card' and don't think people should have to listen to my DC screaming if I can't placate them. I would have taken him for a walk out of diners' earshot until he was happy again"
you sound a considerate person who just expected good manners and consideration in return. not much to ask for, is it really?

Fuzzy - if going inside was not an option any sensible person with a baby would not have chosen to sit outside in the smoking area on a cold day. And the smoking couple would have paid a high price for their coffee and desered to be able to drink it and enjoy a fag in peace!

Well YANBU but it seems that since the indoor smoking ban, non-smokers are now no longer able to enjoy the great outdoors. Sitting outside a restaurant or pavement cafe is no longer the lovely experience it used to be - it's now smokers' corner.

We are not really any better off - it's just that we used to go outside for a gasp of unpolluted air, and now we need to stay inside for it.

Oh so you didn't want them to actually move away...you just wanted them to move their fags?

Well that's totally different then...but why not just move your baby a bit?

You know I hate those threads where the posters rip apart everything that the OP has said to make everything their fault.

But really, you go somewhere with no appropriate seating, then choose to sit outside in the cold in the area in which you know people are going to be smoking, then complain about it?

Why?

If my Mum was over (who I rarely see for geographical reasons, natch) I would be happier sitting in a Burger King knowing that my DC would be warm and unsmoked on than I would be wasting my money in a 'pricey London restaurant' which was really inappropriate for the group I was eating with.

Well, I can have one so give it here.