to think that some smokers are selfish f****?

[glitzalicious]

so DH and I took my mum (who we rarely see for geographical reasons) and 9-month-old DS for lunch at a pricey restaurant in London today. It was freezing but there were no seats available inside, so at the suggestion of the waitress we sat at a table outside, near a patio heater, and ordered what looked set to be a very nice lunch.
A few minutes after we sat down, a woman in her 50s and her younger male companion came and sat on the table next to us, and both proceeded to light up cigarettes, inches from DS's face (the tables were extremely close together, and he was sitting on my mum's lap, happily eating his lunch). DH very politely asked the man if they would mind not smoking so close to the baby, to which he replied: "It's a free country". His leather-faced companion then gestured to a table at the other end of the al fresco area, with no heater anywhere near, and said: "Nobody's stopping you from moving". DH was quite stunned, and said: 'I think that's quite inconsiderate; it's really bad for the baby", and the bloke said: "I know", before shrugging his shoulders and turning back to his haggard old witch of a friend. I couldn't believe that people could be so selfish; to expect my DS (who had been sitting there before them) to either inhale all of their carcinogens (the fact the guy acknowledged that his habit was harmful to DC was quite shocking) or freeze, just so they could get their nicotine fix. Why the f* did they not move? We did get up and try to cancel our order; it was too late so we had to sit, completely freezing, in the heater-free zone. I have no axe to grind with smokers; if someone chooses to poison their own body it's no one's business but their own. But I would never think that others should suffer just so I could indulge a habit, and if someone were to ask me to stop doing something (talking too loudly in a restaurant etc) I would be so mortified at the prospect of impacting someone's enjoyment of their meal I would stop immediately, as they have just as much right to a nice lunch/dinner out as I do.
People always go on about a 'right to smoke': AIBU to think that right extends only to a smoker's home, or a child-free area? My blood is still boiling over those bastards!

Did the other family complain? I think you shouldn't be sat outside if it bothers you that much, bit shocked you would sit out eating with a baby on a cold day tbh.

Apologies by the way, I never post on AIBU and its so fast! By the time I make my point there have been loads more replies!

smoking? in a smoking area?
the bastards

Get a grip, first of all what difference does it make that the restaurant was "pricey" do posh people not smoke?? Secondly outside is the only place that people can smoke these days and are perfectly entitled to "poison their bodies" to their hearts content outside a restaurant! I wouldn't have moved either! Neither would i have sat my baby outside on a winters day to eat a meal. They had just as much right to sit near a heater as you did.

harvena you have not been next to my DH then, clearly and also, it is debatable with regards to the impact of passive smoking actually, there is significant research for both sides of the argument, it is not a categoric fact.

Newmum, of course they have a right to smoke in an area where smoking is permitted, but would you really sit right next to a small baby or child if there were other seats? I don't think that I would.

Then again, I probably would have gone elsewhere rather than sit outside in January, baby or no baby.

YANBU. I am not keen on smokers at all.

The fact that smoking has been banned indoors does not mean that non-smokers become second class citizens outdoors. Finding that you are sitting beside someone smoking and that the cigarette smoke is getting in your face is just the same as it always was in the days before the smoking ban indoors. You politely point out that the smoke is getting in your face and ask them to move their cigarette. If they don't do something about it, they are being unreasonable and inconsiderate. They do not have the right to have their smoke blowing into other people's faces. So you are not unreasonable to ask.

Having said that, it's unsurprising that someone forced to sit outside in January in order to be allowed to smoke would feel aggrieved at being asked to either not smoke or move away from the heater, so perhaps you were being a bit naive.

As a one-off it's not likely to have done your baby any harm. Living in a city or busy town is more likely to do that.

Passive smoking in the wide open air, briefly isn't going to make a jot of difference to the baby anyway. Unless he/she wears a face mask Michael Jackson stylee every time a car or bus goes by.....

"So out of interest if your son had started howling, whilst they were having their coffee and fag would you have left so not to spoil there enjoyment?"
Yes I would have done! I don't think a baby is any kind of 'trump card' and don't think people should have to listen to my DC screaming if I can't placate them. I would have taken him for a walk out of diners' earshot until he was happy again, as I have done on a few occasions in restaurants/public spaces when he's been fussy (even though he is a baby and has a 'right' to cry)

I'm not keen on babies

I thought the argument in agreement for passive smoking was to move it outside.

Just re-read your posts, what did the womans appearance have to do with situation?

Going against the grain here, I think you were perfectly reasonable to ask them to move their smoke away from the baby who was already sitting there. Of course it is legal. So is picking your nose. And belching, farting, picking scabs, squeezing spots and airing out your stinky feet.

But as legal and indeed satisfying all of these pastimes are, it's not ok to do them if it makes another party uncomfortable. If the guy had been digging at his toe cheese and blowing off juicy farts all over OP's baby, would you still expect her to move? (I don't mean that sarcastically, I honestly would like to hear.)

RRocks, you say it so much better than me!

I'm not keen on breeders.

I smoke and yet I agree with OP. I didn't smoke over my own babies and I wouldn't smoke over the top of anyone elses.

They should have politely appologised and moved away, stood over in the cold until they finished smoking. The fact that the man agreed it was harmful but continued just shows what an arrogant prat he must be.

Well I like babies ,just not when I'm having a fag

I don't think for one minute they were smoking AT the child.....exaggeration, I feel. If you don't like being outside, then go inside.....v.simple.

I'm not keen on London

Maybe the man was an arrogant prat or maybe the OPs attitude and insulting manner (still can't get over the leather face insult lol) came right across...in which case she was lucky he didn't tell her fuck off!

I am not keen on patios. Damned annoying outdoor eaters ruining the view of the road during my meal. Its just rude thats what it is.

YANBU - they were selfish fuckers. So are everyone who smokes in their house after the kids go to bed.

I smoke, I don't expect children or anyone really to breath in my second hand smoke.

Btw, it wasn't 'too late to cancel the order' - you should of all left.

TBH - smokers are excluded outside; put the shoe on the other foot - we don't want to be surrounded by children when we are out for adult meals.

If you want a child-like environment, I suggest you gosomewhere suitable - with predominantly children in attendance.