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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wanting to get married, just DP & I?

185 replies

Hammy02 · 03/01/2011 13:37

My partner & I want to get married abroad, just the 2 of us and have a party for friends and family when we get back. My partner is on a good wage but we are trying to save for a deposit for our first house and can't justify spending thousands on a wedding. Has anyone else done this? I don't think my mum would ever forgive me.

OP posts:
earwicga · 03/01/2011 20:38

Final offer rejected spikeycow :)

MsKLo · 03/01/2011 21:02

Oh lol
Spikeycow doesn't get sarcasm

Poor dearie!

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:06

And you are a fucking hypocrite starting threads about nice responses and then being so rude on this thread. I get sarcasm. Go and trip somewhere else.

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:08

Did I hit a nerve telling you your kids are probably spoilt? Is that why you're sooo upset? Awww

Go · 03/01/2011 21:12

Me and DH did this, last year. Didn't tell a soul, not even the children. Booked 2 nights in a swanky hotel in London, took DCs to stay with Grandma and off we went. Got married, weekend away then came back and told everyone. Some were surprised but everyone was delighted (we have lived together for 10 years btw). Had a party a few weeks later for friends and family which was lovely.

Haven't read the whole thread and am aware it could have moved on since the original post!

willowstar · 03/01/2011 21:14

We went to a registry office up in the Lake District, told no-one, grabbed a couple of witnesses off the street who then invited us back for champagne and we took them to lunch. It was lovely and just what we wanted...but we are not very conventional. My mum knew beforehand but didn't know the date and was absoltely fine with it, but other than that no-one knew. We did it mainly for financial reasons, but also because our close family are literally on all continents and getting them all together would be impossible.

We didn't tell people we were married until our first anniverary, admittedly that is odd but we had our reasons.

Go for it if that is what you want to do.

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:18

I'm so glad we have the PM facility hehe

Ephiny · 03/01/2011 21:34

I don't want to invite people because I don't see the point of dragging relatives from all over the country to come and see me and DP say the minimum statutory words and sign a piece of paper. It'll all be over in a few minutes (seriously I think we could be done in 5 mins), really not worth people driving/flying 100s of miles to see. But if they knew about it they'd feel obliged to come, because refusing to come to your daughter's/sister's wedding is would feel like a big thing to them.

MsKLo · 03/01/2011 21:34

Oh Spikeycow dearie you don't hit any of my nerves I just find your rants hilarious! Do carry on, you are really showing everyone how clever you are!

Lolllllllll!

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:35

Loooolllll that you judge people for not breastfeeding. Get off your high horse, troll

expatinscotland · 03/01/2011 21:36

They are pretty funny, those rants and class assumptions. Haahaaa. Highly entertaining.

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:37

At least I don't sound like some demented bimbo!!!!!!
!!!!lolllllllllll!

expatinscotland · 03/01/2011 21:38

That's what you think Wink.

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:38

Apparently a few people think you go around deliberately causing upset troll. Why start a thread about making nice responses? Are you a bit fick, or just sick?

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:40

Whatever Expat. Side with that if you want. Like I care. At least I don't give a shit how other people feed their children! And I'm domineering? HA

mozette · 03/01/2011 21:41

agree with expat

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:43

And? I don't care if the whole of Mumsnet jumps on the bandwagon. I'm still right.

earwicga · 03/01/2011 21:47
pointydog · 03/01/2011 21:50

I'm not what excuses the op is trying to come up with here.

Options:

  1. Get married cheaply in the uk, followed by party. Perfectly possible.
  2. Spend much more money and get married abroad followed by party.

How bothered are you about upsetting your mum? If you have the money and you can deal with any fall-out, go for option two. But don't kid yourself that you are saving yourself thousands.

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 21:50

I'm wandering off too. It's tired work raising nice children. Who were bottlefed for the most part.
Wonder how many !!!!!dearie dearie loooool!!!!!s I'll get for that?

cinpin · 03/01/2011 22:02

OP if you mum would never forgive you is it worth upsetting her that much?

MsKLo · 03/01/2011 22:32

OP

Have a great wedding whatever you decide

I for one have laughed my ass off but have decided ti ignore a certain spikeyidiot from now on even though said person is absolutely hilarious!

Good luck OP

PhishFoodAddiction · 03/01/2011 22:33

OP why not mention the idea in a vague way to your mum to see her reaction?

Me and DH didn't think anyone would be upset at our decision to get married alone. It seemed like a really private thing to me, something we wanted to keep between the two of us.

A big wedding would have been horrendous to me. The stagefright would probably have crippled me, I doubt I would have been able to say my vows. I hate being the centre of attention and so does DH. We're shy, retiring types Grin.

Spikey I do see where you're coming from, but we didn't exclude our parents because we didn't want them in our lives. It was just something we wanted to do on our own. It was perfect for us, and thankfully our families understood that we would have hated a big wedding, that it just wasn't 'us'. I'd be perfectly happy in my DDs did the same thing- their relationship, their wedding, their choice.

spikeycow · 03/01/2011 22:39

Please do ignore me. You are very hard to ignore though, I've got visions of you running round in circles screaming dearie dearie,with wild hair and that. Maybe even a combover.

cinpin · 03/01/2011 22:40

spikey I can see where you are comming from too. MsKlo I think you should stop now as you are really comming over as a nasty person. You remind me of a ten year old. stick to the original post.