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AIBU?

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Original poster

on how to deal with dh,

184 replies

furiouswife · 03/01/2011 10:29

My H went out last night with a friend, and ended up being stuck in a car for 3 hours, as H fell asleep in the car, and instead of his mate bringing him home, his mate continued to party and left dh stuck in a car park, locked in a car Angry.

firstly my H doesn't drink, its his first drink in over 5 years, so this is completely out of character, and just not him at all.

Im furious because I "think" his mate was drink driving, and dh even tho intoxicated got into a car with a wasted person, and ended up being stranded in a car in a car park in the middle of nowhere. Im furious as he was only going to our local for the last bell.

We finally got him out the car at 5.30 this morning, after other wife eventually got through to her H, who said my H was fine, he wasn't, H was crying, frightened and confused as by this point he was stuck in the car for 4 hours, and he couldn't break any of the windows, or get out etc...

I cant believe him and his mate potentially endangered others lives.

Mates wife has phoned the police, (alot of reasons, but think this incident in the last straw for their relationship) however Im not sure how to deal with my wankard off a husband.

Im furious and cant think straight!

OP posts:
Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 10:30

4 hours not 3.

OP posts:
Katisha · 03/01/2011 10:31

I suspect he has learned his lesson actually.

fel1x · 03/01/2011 10:33

It sounds like he was only in the wrong by not being used to a drink and falling asleep.
I'd be a bit sympathetic tbh and focus on how twatty the othe guy was

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 10:50

I cant focus on the other guy tbh, hes not my problem, my insensitive H is, he may not be used to drinking, but his actions are completely unacceptable and he lied in saying he was only going to the local for the last bell, but ended up in town stuck in a freaking carpark.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 03/01/2011 10:54

Your husband doesn't drink and was crying because he was trapped in a car?

How awful for him - it's not like he could help falling asleep - maybe he was so tired he didn't notice his friend had been drinking.

If I found my lovely husband sober and crying because he was trapped in a car I would feel nothing but sorry for him.

Frankly I'm surprised you don't Hmm

SheWillBeLoved · 03/01/2011 10:56

Completely agree with Laurie. It's quite common to say "Oh I'll just go for one" and then get into the mood and go on for more. He hardly asked to be locked in a car for 4 hours did he?

If he was in tears, I'm assuming he was bloody terrified, so I'm at a loss as to why you need to continue punishing him. I doubt he'll be doing it again in a hurry if that's what you're worried about.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 10:59

he was out drinking with his mate, so he knew full well his mate was drinking, even if it was only the one or 5, however it appears to be not the case, as other mates H was hammered.

My H wasn't sober also, he was stinking drunk, although a sobered stinking drunk.

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 03/01/2011 11:03

What temperature was it in the car after 4 hours?! Your H was probably confused because he had hypothermia.

jendot · 03/01/2011 11:06

errr could he not have unlocked the car from the inside???? Surely ALL cars can be unlocked from the inside...or am I missing something?

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 11:07

I dont know... he came home this am, and I made him sleep on the sofa. (kids we're in with me).

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 03/01/2011 11:09

That's true jendot, usually just have to flick back the childlock switches and then open the door the usual way. Probably set the alarm off, but it'd open.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 03/01/2011 11:10

Was about to post what jendot did. Surely he could have got himself out? Sounds fishy to me.

StuffingGoldBrass · 03/01/2011 11:11

If this is your H's first drink for over 5 years, is he a recovering alcoholic? Because that seems about the only thing that would explain your rage when the facts of the story appear to be that your H was neglected by his friends and had a frightening experience.

Thistledew · 03/01/2011 11:12

From your post you sound like you really don't like your DH very much.

If it was something that he did regularly then you would definitely have a right to be angry but it sounds like he just got rather carried away on this occasion and it went a bit wrong.

Fair enough to say to him that you have no sympathy and that he should engage his brain and not be in that situation again, but then drop it. Anything else would be ott and treating him like a child.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 11:13

the only way out the car is by key, the car has alot of repairs that needs doing to it. He could have got out, if the lock button inside, (above the CD player actually worked, however it doesn't, and mates sister who collected him, let him out with the spare.

Not fishy, just a shit car (7 year old rover)

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 03/01/2011 11:16

Front doors?

Either way, although he sounds frankly quite pathetic, I don't see why you're so cross unless as SGB says there is a history of something ie. alcoholism.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 11:16

I love my husband very much, however he put his life at risk, and others, even if he was just the passenger, he got himself so intoxicated that he didn't know where he was, what position he got himself in, and ended up having all his family worried for the whole night due to his actions.

No he is not a alcoholic, he just doesn't drink.

OP posts:
Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 11:17

none of the doors open without the key (its all electronic)

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 03/01/2011 11:20

Still sounds very fishy to me. If it were me, I would be inclined to look into other possibilities (was it definitely a case of car locked or could he have been somewhere else and doesn't want to say?).

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 03/01/2011 11:23

OK, I'm confused.

"We finally got him out the car at 5.30 this morning, after other wife eventually got through to her H, who said my H was fine, he wasn't, H was crying, frightened and confused as by this point he was stuck in the car for 4 hours, and he couldn't break any of the windows, or get out etc..."

"I dont know... he came home this am, and I made him sleep on the sofa. (kids we're in with me)."

So did you see him in the car or were you in bed? I presumed you had just taken his word for it but maybe you were there? Confused

SheWillBeLoved · 03/01/2011 11:24

furiouswife - plenty of ways to get out of one of those cars without a key, even with a dodgy lock. DP (ex car salesman) is sat here with me and saying he has sold enough and seen enough dodgy Rovers to know you are never locked in one for that long. For example the door locks are never flush against the door frame even when locked, enabling you to still pop them open even when locked - and get out.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 11:25

No, mates sister actually got him out the car, his mate was no where to be seen, apparently his mate told his wife, he was keeping checking Hmm on him, if that was the case, my H wouldn't have been stuck in a car for 4 hours Angry

OP posts:
diddl · 03/01/2011 11:28

I´d be pissed off with him too tbh.

Sorry, but I have no sympathy for people who get into stupid situations due to drink.

I mean how drunk was he that he didn´t noticed the car being parked & his friend getting out?

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 11:29

I was at home, I was on the landline to sisters mate, and on the phone to h on my mobile.

shewillbeloved, my dh doesn't know anything about cars, he has cracked the front window, trying to smash the window in trying to get out. (proberly going to have to foot the bill for that)!

OP posts:
SharkSlayer · 03/01/2011 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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