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AIBU?

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Original poster

on how to deal with dh,

184 replies

furiouswife · 03/01/2011 10:29

My H went out last night with a friend, and ended up being stuck in a car for 3 hours, as H fell asleep in the car, and instead of his mate bringing him home, his mate continued to party and left dh stuck in a car park, locked in a car Angry.

firstly my H doesn't drink, its his first drink in over 5 years, so this is completely out of character, and just not him at all.

Im furious because I "think" his mate was drink driving, and dh even tho intoxicated got into a car with a wasted person, and ended up being stranded in a car in a car park in the middle of nowhere. Im furious as he was only going to our local for the last bell.

We finally got him out the car at 5.30 this morning, after other wife eventually got through to her H, who said my H was fine, he wasn't, H was crying, frightened and confused as by this point he was stuck in the car for 4 hours, and he couldn't break any of the windows, or get out etc...

I cant believe him and his mate potentially endangered others lives.

Mates wife has phoned the police, (alot of reasons, but think this incident in the last straw for their relationship) however Im not sure how to deal with my wankard off a husband.

Im furious and cant think straight!

OP posts:
diddl · 03/01/2011 12:34

Did he not know the name of the pub he was at?

Or his friend´s mobile number?

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:36

he didn't phone the police as he didn't want his friend to get into trouble Hmm for drink driving, he also didn't know if he would get into trouble for being intoxicated whilst in the car Hmm idiot!

His mate didn't answer his phone at all, until 5ish this morning, and that's when mates sister went and got dh.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, my H is a pleb!

I am angry at H friend, however hes not my problem, dh is!

OP posts:
Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:37

The police are involved, mates wife has phone the police.

OP posts:
FudgeGirl · 03/01/2011 12:38

He didn't want to ring the police, or his friend, but he sat in a (presumably) empty car park with the alarm going off, horn blaring and lights flashing? Hmm

Who did he expect to come, other than the police? In fact, I'm amazed they didn't.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:38

me too.

OP posts:
mommmmyof2 · 03/01/2011 12:39

Well all i can say is i do hope he learnt his lesson as does not put you through that again, and i hope it all gets sorted out soon.I would also getting him doing the dishes for a few days too Grin

bumpsoon · 03/01/2011 12:39

Tbh , whilst i can see why you are annoyed with him , you seem to be putting an awful lot of emphasis on 'what ifs' ,which is no way to stay sane .
Your DH went to the pub ,he got drunk and stayed out alot later than he should of ,due in part to him being stuck in a car in the dark and cold for 4 hours . I imagine that he has probably learnt some sort of lesson from the incident ,however if you continue to go on about it ,what that lesson is ,im not sure Confused

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 03/01/2011 12:40

You know, children pick up on hissed hostility and bad atmospheres, doesn't sound like a very pleasant household tbh, I think the venom through the bloody laptop screen

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 03/01/2011 12:40

Idiot not pleb. DH has been a fool. And a wimp. And obviously can't handle his once-every-five-years drinkie.

But it's his mate that locked him in rather than being a real mate and driving him home. His mate that was the drink driver. His mate that abandoned him locked in a car. Then went out and left him. He's the one you should be angry with.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/01/2011 12:41

Two things that don't add up

He was asleep till you woke him (fair enough)
he is then in tears. Why? You know where he is, he knows help is coimg.

Whilst you are on the phone to him, he tries to get out. Damage to windows, doors etc. why? He knows that help is coming.

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 03/01/2011 12:44

And on that basis Boney I am awarding this thread a Xmas Biscuit

And wondering wtf all this pathetic men are coming from.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:45

he didn't know where he was, he fell asleep on the way to the second pub, dh through the was going home, he awoke in a car park with only tree's surrounding it. It took us nearly 4 hours to get in contact with dh mate to find out where dh actually was.

Anyway, Im leaving this now, dh knows what a arse he has been, and it not happy at himself, I am trying to convince him also that he should only pay half, hes having none of it however, as he says hes responsible for the damage caused.

OP posts:
Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:47

My dh is neither pathetic, or a wimp!, if you knew him (which you dont) you would know he is far from it, he is actually a REAL hero in this family, he quite literally endangered his own life to save our child's.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 03/01/2011 12:48

"furiouswife Mon 03-Jan-11 12:15:03
he done the damage, so hes legally responsible.

Oh come on now you really are on a wind up surely? How about he tells his friend to call the police over the damage bill and explain how it happened?"

No way. if one of my friends came out with me and drank way more than he could handle and I put him in my car to sleep it off and he woke up so panicked by the situation of being in a car and not being able to figure a way out that he started kicking in doors and windows of course I'd hold him financially responsible for the repairs.

mommmmyof2 · 03/01/2011 12:48

I don't understand how some people on here can be so calm and say nothing really happened as this is not normal behavour.Having a drink is fine, stopping out late is fine, drink driving not fine and getting locked in a car is just weird!
None of us are perfect but what is she supposed to do, it has made her angry and venting on here is one way of letting the angre out without letting it affect the children.
I wonder what would have happened if furiouswife had been the one who had done it!

diddl · 03/01/2011 12:49

I don´t see why he should pay anything tbh.

His mate was a twat for not bringing him home, not waking him to go into the pub, locking the car, not answering his phone.

taintedsnow · 03/01/2011 12:50

Oh you sound quite horrible. You are very know-it-all throughout this thread, despite the masses of people telling you in no uncertain terms that you sound completely unsympathetic and out of order. Your poor DH, you sound like you try to rule him with an iron rod. He has been silly, but not a wanker.

Why don't you grow up and realise he's made a mistake and stop punishing him like he's a naughty child?

YunoYurbubson · 03/01/2011 12:52

I was thinking what fel1x said. Can you imagine if the roles were reversed here?

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 03/01/2011 12:53

BoneyBackJefferson, I don't know about you, but sometimes I find I am not at my most logical when pissed.
I can imagine the drunken thought process of 'Aaagh, locked in car! Must get out! Will kick door open in Bruce Willis style... Oh bugger.'

I mean, that's the whole point of the deadlocks on your car - that you can't (smash a window and then) open the door from inside. As an ex-Rover owner myself, slightly surprised it stood up to such punishment, but sod's law, eh?

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:54

Yes, Im a know it all for being up all night worried about my dh who was on the phone, and crying due to being frightened by his own irresponsible actions.

Dh getting ready to go to his Dads house and his mates house to apologise to them both. I feel nothing for his mate, I do however feel heart broken that our friends marriage is over.

OP posts:
SharkSlayer · 03/01/2011 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:56

Im changing my story Hmm

OP posts:
taintedsnow · 03/01/2011 12:56

And you still don't think he has been punished enough?!

I think you ought to drop it now, he's been through enough, he doesn't need righteous judgement and punishment from you.

classydiva · 03/01/2011 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:59

classydiva, your obscenities are juvenile and childish!

Anyway I am off, my own H thinks hes acted completely irresponsible and been a completely fool, Im not punishing him at all, I am however being a mature adult, in saying to him I am completely unhappy with his actions and that I disapprove of him getting so wasted he puts his welfare and life at risk.

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