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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

on how to deal with dh,

184 replies

furiouswife · 03/01/2011 10:29

My H went out last night with a friend, and ended up being stuck in a car for 3 hours, as H fell asleep in the car, and instead of his mate bringing him home, his mate continued to party and left dh stuck in a car park, locked in a car Angry.

firstly my H doesn't drink, its his first drink in over 5 years, so this is completely out of character, and just not him at all.

Im furious because I "think" his mate was drink driving, and dh even tho intoxicated got into a car with a wasted person, and ended up being stranded in a car in a car park in the middle of nowhere. Im furious as he was only going to our local for the last bell.

We finally got him out the car at 5.30 this morning, after other wife eventually got through to her H, who said my H was fine, he wasn't, H was crying, frightened and confused as by this point he was stuck in the car for 4 hours, and he couldn't break any of the windows, or get out etc...

I cant believe him and his mate potentially endangered others lives.

Mates wife has phoned the police, (alot of reasons, but think this incident in the last straw for their relationship) however Im not sure how to deal with my wankard off a husband.

Im furious and cant think straight!

OP posts:
thighsmadeofcheddar · 03/01/2011 12:12

I think stuck in the car for hours story has been fabricated. He was in the pub. Having a drink. Hardly the crime of the century.

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 03/01/2011 12:12

DD2 says she is very grateful that you are not her mother as you sound mean. She also says it is very wrong to laugh or shout at crying people so I guess that's me told Xmas Hmm

Bloody knowitall kids.

mutznutz · 03/01/2011 12:13

He's willing to pay repair money to someone who locked him in a car for 4 hours....is your husband totally insane????

Shimmerysilverglitterybaubles · 03/01/2011 12:14

Sorry but would not be paying the full cost of repairs, joint fuckwittedness between pair of them so his mate should foot half the bill.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:15

he done the damage, so hes legally responsible.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 03/01/2011 12:18

SarahStratton glad you posted it first Grin

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 03/01/2011 12:18

Christ are you ever sympathetic? Poor sod. He got locked in a car, panicked and tried to kick his way out. Poor fucker. And yes his mate should be going halves with him.

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:21

Of course I am sympathetic, however Im not going to show him I am being sympathetic, when he could have killed himself, even he knows this, and is not happy with himself.

Im sure it wont happen again, but their is no way my husband is getting sympathy when he endangered his life all because he was trashed.

OP posts:
mummytime · 03/01/2011 12:21

He was illegally imprisoned, so you could argue both ways. My DH once locked me in a old car we had. It was an old Astra and if you locked it centrally none of the door locks worked. I was only stuck for 20 mins, he went to get change for the car park and didn't realise what would happen.

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 03/01/2011 12:23

I think it's highly unlikely he would be killed by being locked in a car overnight. Although if that is your general family thinking I can understand the hysteria and crying now.

mommmmyof2 · 03/01/2011 12:26

I don't want to add fuel to your fire but i would be sooo angry, your dh is a grown man and if he does not drink then he should have been more careful.Yes we all make mistakes but that is too much, being stranded with a guy like that could have ended up a lot worse!
You are entitled to be angry, he may well have learnt his lesson and may never do it again but it stil does not take the fact away that you were proberly worried sick about him.
If this is his first 'offence' so to speak then i would tell him how angry you feel and why but do it when you have calmed down so you can do it without shouting and screaming.
But you are totaly within your rights to let hhim no.

Articulate · 03/01/2011 12:26

Really don't get how he could have killed himself Confused

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:26

he endangered his life by getting into a car with a drunk driver!!! Apparently his mate felt OK so was fine to drive, after down jager bomb and pints!

dh knows how stupid he was, even he cant comprehend why he got into the car, he vaguely remembers walking to the car, and then waking up when I was calling him.

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 03/01/2011 12:26

SSB I think she means the drink driving.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 03/01/2011 12:28

Why did his friend lock the car? Did he think it might be stolen with a sleeping drunk in the back? Just how drunk was he if he wouldn't notice the car being stolen? (and also didn't notice being "checked on").

annh · 03/01/2011 12:28

Sorry, your husband was locked in a car (but asleep until you woke him up so presumably not distressed then?) and upon waking up, instead of phoning his mate who locked him in (and who was in the pub and had been on the phone to his own wife so obviously in possession of a working phone) he started crying and waited for his mate's sister to come rescue him? This is unbelievable! Why did he not just ring his friend? Or the police?

FudgeGirl · 03/01/2011 12:30

Why couldn't he use the horn to attract attention? Strange.

Anyway, I agree I would be livid with him for being an arse and worrying me, but he does sound like a right wet lettuce who can't look after himself. I feel a bit sorry for him.

diddl · 03/01/2011 12:30

"This is unbelievable! Why did he not just ring his friend? Or the police?"

Would make more sense, wouldn´t it?

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:30

Thanks moommyyof2, I haven't shouted at him, the children are here, and we dont raise voices in front of them, I have let him know I am not happy, he knows this, and although I am still angry at him, he also realises that I have a right to be angry, he is angry at himself.

I am more angry about the drink driving, I was knocked down by a drink driver when I was 8 and ended up needing a titanium rod in replace of my femur bone!

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 03/01/2011 12:31

He's apologised.
Its heartfelt
He's admitted he was wrong.

Sat here wondering why even if you arn't going to show sympathy you seem to be refusing to accept his apology.

What more does he need to do?

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 03/01/2011 12:32

Why isn't your anger directed at his mate? OK so he got pissed but that's not crime of the century and if he's not had a drink for five years before that he's going to get pissed very easily. Which would affect his judgement.

It's his mate that DWUI and imprisoned him in a car.

And if he only vaguely remembers walking to the car, then fell asleep and was only woken up by you ringing him why did he try and kick his way out of the car? Why the panic? You knew where he was, he was on the phone to you so why did he go so overboard panicking?

Xmas Hmm and getting ready to award the Xmas Biscuit

Original poster
furiouswife · 03/01/2011 12:32

he did, the alarm in the car was going off, he had all the lights on, beeping the horn etc... no one came.

I know this as I was listening on the phone.

OP posts:
fel1x · 03/01/2011 12:33

God you sound mean!
Imagine it the other way round and op had said 'i hardly ever go out and very rarely drink but last night went for a drink with an old friend. I had a couple of drinks and it went straight to my head. My friend drove us to a party but I fell asleep in the car and unbelievably my friend left me locked in the car while they went to the party!
I woke up in the pitch black, still tipsy, feeling rough and was terrified. I was stuck in the car for 4 hours. Finally got out and now my dh is furious with me, made me sleep on the sofa and is still thinking up wats to punish me'
bet the responses would have been different then. Poor guy

mutznutz · 03/01/2011 12:34

furiouswife Mon 03-Jan-11 12:15:03
he done the damage, so hes legally responsible.

Oh come on now you really are on a wind up surely? How about he tells his friend to call the police over the damage bill and explain how it happened? Wink

mommmmyof2 · 03/01/2011 12:34

He put his life at risk by getting in the car with a guy who was drinking and obvisouly being that drunk he got locked in a car by that same guy a 'friend' he was not able to handle the sitution as he was drunk!
We all get drunk i am no saint beleive me, but we all have to deal with consequenses of our actions