To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

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It feels wrong on so many levels.

I don't get this whole "children need a mother and a father" thing - my Mum and Dad divorced when my brother and I were about 2 - we never saw (or heard from) my Dad again. My Mum did a wonderful job bringing us up

i am reticent because of their celebrity status - mainly. plus of course their age. 62 and 48. too old imo. but mainly it is the Michael Jackson factor. which many celebrities go down - Mia Farrow for e.g

Elton & David will, I am sure, make fantastic parents. I felt so heartened to read this story, and wish them all the luck in the world.

Just a couple of things... I understand they used an egg donor, so the 'birth mother' is not the biological parent. Also, I understand they did try to adopt, but were turned down due to Elton's age and not being 'legally married'.

As for the OP, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. I sincerely hope that you do not pass on your prejudices to your children.

I think kids are best off in conventional families, or as near as you can get to one. That means a man, a woman, and young enough and enthusiastic enough about the boring bits to do hands on care much of the time.

I can understand other people having the biological urge to have kids, but I think they should be more wary of going down that route than they currently are.

I find the concept of surrogacy abhorrent
Renting women's orifices (prostitution) and now wombs
I think it's just as abhorrent when a woman rents another woman's womb
While there may be the odd woman who does it for purely altruistic reasons, many of the surrogates are from a Certain Socio- Economic Class and I find the practice exploitative

Also, in the U.S if the birth mother changes her mind after giving birth, she's not allowed to keep her baby> Can you imagine going through all that and not being allowed to keep the prize... One woman went on the run to keep her baby, but the rich people she was a surrogate for forced her to hand him over

I think if we had no class system very very few women would become surrogates

why are they not legally married?

David Furnish is only 48, that is def not too old to have a baby! many men have a child at that age, it makes me so cross when people become so judgemental about age these days. These too men love each other have a long term relationship and have an awful lot to give to this child (not just monetary, thats their business). The adoption laws in the UK are so out of date, there are so many children desperate for families, and so many people ruled out for ridiculous age issues.

Congratulations to them both!

To be fair my 'ideal world' scenario is moot as there is no such thing. However, I would like to point out that I was brought up in a single parent family and, yes, I missed out on a lot of male influence and feel that, in some ways, this has been detrimental to my life. However, my mother did a fantastic job in the circumstances and i worship the ground she walks on. I still believe, however (and am entitled to my opinion) that a child is best served being brought up by one female and one male. Hope that wasn't too rambling for you Altinkum.

I'm shocked by the comments so far this morning.

So what it's 2 guys!? that implies that any man/woman relationship is better as a starting point than 2 people who love each other who could both be male or female.

What has gender got to do with being in a loving relationship and brining up a child in a loving and stable relationship.

Given a number of the families that we see in the papers I would imagine this child is going to have a significantly better life than a lot of others who live in your typical 1 male/1 female set up.

Don't kid yourselves you're being homophobic and it's rather unpleasant.

I hope, Sakura, that you never find yourself in the position of needing one.

to me, it's neither here nor there that the couple about to receive their new product baby are men, or gay. In some ways I think it's worse if it's a woman because women exploiting other women doesn't sit well with me, whereas men exploiting women is more umm, understandable.
I understand that some do it for altruistic reasons (to help out a sister, for example) but many are in it for the "travel expenses" in other words, huge amounts of cash

Sakura, do you also object to egg donation?

I'm grateful, lorelilee that I have never been in the position of having to rent out my womb

Do you know that some middle class couples from the rich world go to INdia and Russia to find poor women to carry their baby for them????

I too think a baby needs a mother, and it is true that money can buy you anything, I don't think having a baby is a right and you shouldn't just find different ways to have one if you can't .

Sakura, you understand nothing about the pain that is infertility.

Tootles I am wary of egg donation, for example, in cases where women are told they will get money off fertility treatment if they allow the doctors to harvest their eggs for other women> That's hardly donation, that's coercion, but I'm not totally against egg donation, for altruistic reasons.

I'm totally against selling eggs, to me that is on par with selling kidneys. Just because the bodily tissue belongs to women doesn't mean it's okay to turn it into a commodity

You can express a view about the necessary yin/yang nature of parenthood without being homophobic, you know.

I would just like to reiterate my point that ANY two loving people bringing up a child is FAR better than ANY two who would mistreat one.

I don't have concrete feelings about surrogacy, I really don't agree that it's okay to help a sister but not help yourself by accepting a large sum of money.

However on these two very committed men becoming parents I am delighted. I think there's very little conventional about the 'pop/music' scene and so that's the toughie. But who needs convention when you have literally millions of pounds. The only downside is that Elton has had heart trouble and so for himself, his husband and child I hope he lives many healthy years.

K12Mom Have you given birth? I have, and I can tell you that the only thing that got me through it was the thought of the prize at the end, the baby.
DO you know that the women are not even allowed to hold or look at their newborn in some cases???

We're not talking about that, we're talking about whether it's better for a loving couple who are male/female to bring up children, rather than male/male or female/female pairings.

I have no problem with two men adopting, or using a surrogate. I do wonder why they waited 17 years and until both of them were on the mature side to do it though if it was that important to them.

Do you know Sakura, how grateful couples are to someone who gives them a chance of parenthood where before they thought they had none? Do you know that seeing the absolute joy of 2 people is, to some women, worth a mere 9 months of their lives?

whos buisness is it anyway? the child will be brought up in a loving relationship and with a good life guaranteed, irrelevant to whether they are both men