To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

link

It feels wrong on so many levels.

I haven't read everything, but I've read enough to see that the OP made a very homophobic statement and then back-pedalled like mad in attempt to appear more interested in the ethics of surragacy.

So, YAB(V)U!

Why is it homophobic to think that 2 men shouldn´t have a child?

Ah but if you read the whole thread okcomputer, you'll see she states that she didn't back pedal. She simply read other views, refined her original thinking and changed her position.

Aka doing a fucking great u - turn when you realise you've shown yourself to be a total bigot.

have you seen 3 men and a baby? of course it is ok and hopefully will result in many comic japes involving ted danson

They will need to formally adopt the child, though right? Even if the birth mother agrees immediately, won't the legal process take a bit of time? I know a family who adopted older children from the US and it took ages, and then had to go through the whole adoption process in the UK including being assessed.

I don't agree with your interpretation violethill. It did seem to me that the OP had read the replies and changed her mind.

I think that's allowed on MN!

Of course changing ones mind is allowed! And life is all about having an enquiring mind, listening to other perspectives and refining your own beliefs.
What that doesn't do is wipe out an offensive opening statement.
I think people would have had far more respect for the OP if she'd admitted that she got that op massively wrong, rather than trying to make out it was a reasonable discussion-opener on a serious and sensitive topic.

Thank you, Jo

Violet - lol at you calling me a bigot!

From the OP - 'I did indeed say that I thought it was wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men and said it felt wrong on many levels. However, I couldn't quite articulate why I felt this way because I didn't really know why. This initiated a discussion and after reading many posts I realised that it is the idea of surrogacy that I have a problem with whether it is for gay or heterosexual couples because I think it is wrong for a woman to deliberately conceive and give birth to a child she has no intention of raising.'

It seems fairly clear to me.

She had a position, read a few posts and changed her mind. She could, of course, have not admitted this and carried on arguing pointlessly.

Well to be honest that's how your OP came across as also you were asked many times to explain what you mean, it was only till over posters started talking about having problems with surrogacy that you started saying that's what you meant.

Fair enough you may have changed your mind that still does not mean your opening statement was not homophobic.

X posts - sorry. I type very slowly!

excuse the errors I type to fast and pressed submit before reading

Saltatrix - exactly.

When you read the entire thread, you see that nearly everyone was quite at the OP, and asked for further explanation as to why, and didn't get it.

The discussion moved on, and some really interesting points were made both for/against/sitting on the fence re: surrogacy in general.

OP then reappeared and more or less said 'Oops, that's what I really meant, I have issues with the ethics of surrogacy in general'.

Smacked too much of jumping on the back of other people's views, and trying to deflect from the offensiveness of the OP. Because it is a homophobic OP.

It is a really interesting topic for debate, and worthy of so much more than cheap shots at a gay male couple

I'm obviously more shallow than I thought I was because my first thought was 'won't all his godchildren be cross that they won't get all his money any more?'

I have a gay friend who planned to have a child with his husband. I thought this was a wonderful idea. However they were going to use an Indian surrogate through an agency. This made me profoundly uncomfortable and I am relieved that it didn't happen in the end.

I would imagine there's plenty of money to go round for everyone elinorbellowed!

ej is too old imo and tbh most people would not want to be raised by two men.

Most people would prefer to be raised by one or more loving parents.

I really can't agree violethill. You cannot possibly know the process the OP went through to change her mind/position.

You have decided the OP is homophobic and are using that presumption to project feelings and opinions on to the OP that she has not expressed.

IMHO!!

here get some education

Steady on JB.

People will begin to think you are the OP!