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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have made my mum cry..

435 replies

natandchris10 · 20/12/2010 19:59

she deserved it..

saturday night her and my dad cancelled going to a birthday party because he was put on call from work.. so she said she would have LO (9months) over night for us to get a rest.. she mentioned they would nip the present to the person at the do...

bearing in mind my LO goes to bed every day without fail at 7pm, they took the present at 8.30. i spoke to mum just after 8.30 and she said they would be going straight home after 5 mins so i said fine no problem, i said please let me know your all home and LO is sleeping and ok, gets to 9.30pm and i had heard nothing so i thought i would call her.. i rang her mobile, dads mobile, dads work phone, house phone about 300000 times each and got no answer, got to 10.30 and still no answer...

I was going out of my mind..pacing the floor the phone rang at 11pm it was my mum, she tells me they are at the party and LO was 'fine'

i flipped. i couldnt belive how iressponsible she had been. her excuse was no signal. bollox cause it rang. i shouted at her until she cried.

OP posts:
zookeeper · 20/12/2010 22:24

I can't wait until the OP and L for rent have another baby lol

JoBettany · 20/12/2010 22:28

OP YANBU at all. I would have been frantic too, especially in this weather, and would have been imagining all sorts of awful scenarios.

You shouted at your mum and she cried? I'll bet the shoe has been on the other foot plenty of times.

However you are brave! If I had made my mum cry I would paying the price for years to come...

GettinFestive · 20/12/2010 22:36

Is this the first time your mum has had your ds overnight natandchris?

If she's had him before and usually puts him down at 7pm, I would try my best to get over this, you're really lucky to have someone to look after him overnight so that you get a break.

Maybe apologise to your mum or accept you are incompatible with babycare and not leave him with her anymore overnight. Can't make up my mind if you are bu as you were out of your mind with worry (know how that feels) but your mum surely didn't mean any harm and was doing you a massive favour.

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 22:36

me too Zoo!

zookeeper · 20/12/2010 22:38

Still laughing at your mainlining crack comment JM Grin

DorothyThompson · 20/12/2010 22:40

er, and also being judgey - weaning at 15 weeks...? whatever happened to 6 months?

IloveJudgeJudy · 20/12/2010 22:42

I really can't understand the OP and some others on this thread. When I had my DC some people did have mobiles, but not everyone, like nowadays. My mother sometimes looked after my DC, as did my bro, in fact my bro took my just 5-year-old DS to Disneyland Paris for a few days with him, his wife and another nephew. He didn't have children at the time. We had no contact at all. I never contacted my mother when she looked after the DC, either. I trust both of them.

My DC are now teenagers so I don't have to worry about babysitters any more.

IMO if you don't trust the person that you leave your DC with, just don't leave the DC there. If you do trust them, you don't have to be in contact all the time, having to have updates every 5 minutes. I just can't understand it. Your parents were capable enough of bringing you up, or if they weren't, don't leave your own DC with them.

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 22:42

That would not have fitted in to the schedule DT!

zookeeper · 20/12/2010 22:43

and the schedule MUST be adhered to..at all costs...stick with the schedule

jessiealbright · 20/12/2010 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 20/12/2010 22:45

As a grandmma I wouldn't have cried, I would have told you to get over yourself though

jessiealbright · 20/12/2010 22:47

Actually, that was mean of me. I'll report the above post.

RCToday · 20/12/2010 22:48

I think Lifeforrent should have her own topic

we could all learn so much

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 22:50

Parenting by Excel Spreadsheet perhaps?

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/12/2010 22:50

Does anyone hope think that LFR's son will turn into one hell of a rebellious teenager when he hits 14?

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 22:51

As long as he is in bed before Countdown he can raise hell GetOrf.

usualsuspect · 20/12/2010 22:52

She should write a book about routines

oh wait ....didn't someone already do that

SkyBluePearl · 20/12/2010 23:08

Many kids can cope with no routine and falling to sleep on sofas - well I'm told they cope but they are very winey and sullen faced often. Mine have a huge need for mountains of sleep and they thrive when fully rested. They always fall to peices if we try to push bed times so they go to bed at 7 every night. If they go to late bed we pay for it the next day or some times even two days. I think you have every right to set the ground rules around bed times and every right to expect grand parents to follow through understanding that you know your child best.

If it's just a one off then maybe have a gentle talk with grandparents.If its a regular thing then i wouldn't leave my children with them.

I would have been worried too if my parents/child were out and about and i couldn't contact them in this weather.

usualsuspect · 20/12/2010 23:16

If you are that precious about your childs routine then don't let anyone else babysit

jessiealbright · 20/12/2010 23:36

You can trust someone to look after your children and still worry about them having a traffic accident! I mean, someone could be a perfect driver, and have someone drive into them. Or get stuck behind someone else's stuck car.

usualsuspect · 20/12/2010 23:38

Yes you can worry about all sorts of things happening though ..what do you do? never let them out of your sight?

jessiealbright · 20/12/2010 23:44

Expecting someone to give you the phone call they agreed to, to confirm they got home safely with your nine month old, isn't really on that scale, is it, though?

(Actually, I hope the OP's dad's bosses aren't reading this thread.)

Curiousmama · 20/12/2010 23:45

Natandchris was your mum drinking?

I wouldn't be happy about this tbh but wouldn't be overjoyed to make my mum cry.

igetmorelovefromthecat · 20/12/2010 23:54

I think YABU OP. You ask what others would have done in that situation? Maybe just explain to your mum that you would really prefer her to stick to your routine for your child, in a calm way, and not made her cry. That might sound a little crazy.

One late night will not harm your LO at all. Think of a lot of European cultures where a lot of socialising/mealtimes happen late at night, where their dc are fully involved. I think you will find that on the continent people grow up to be normal people with no lasting damage. You are shooting yourself in the foot by having such a strict routine, and limiting your lifestyle in a lot of ways.

deleting · 21/12/2010 00:33

I would have been worried too. going out (in the car?) in this weather, she said they'd stay for 5 mins and call to say they were back safely. she didn't. she didn't call to say they were staying later (which my mum would have done and would have been the thoughtful thing to do). what's routine got to do with it? mine don't really have a routine, they mostly go to bed at roughly the same time each day (when i've had enough), isn't this more the fact that op didn't know what the hell was going on, couldn't contact anyone and might have thought they'd had an accident on the road, fire, flood or whatever. i would apologise for making her cry, but not for having a go.