Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have made my mum cry..

435 replies

natandchris10 · 20/12/2010 19:59

she deserved it..

saturday night her and my dad cancelled going to a birthday party because he was put on call from work.. so she said she would have LO (9months) over night for us to get a rest.. she mentioned they would nip the present to the person at the do...

bearing in mind my LO goes to bed every day without fail at 7pm, they took the present at 8.30. i spoke to mum just after 8.30 and she said they would be going straight home after 5 mins so i said fine no problem, i said please let me know your all home and LO is sleeping and ok, gets to 9.30pm and i had heard nothing so i thought i would call her.. i rang her mobile, dads mobile, dads work phone, house phone about 300000 times each and got no answer, got to 10.30 and still no answer...

I was going out of my mind..pacing the floor the phone rang at 11pm it was my mum, she tells me they are at the party and LO was 'fine'

i flipped. i couldnt belive how iressponsible she had been. her excuse was no signal. bollox cause it rang. i shouted at her until she cried.

OP posts:
JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 21:40

Lifeforrent I bet your kid grows up to be really boring. Like you.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 20/12/2010 21:47

JodiesMummy - that's a bit mean. Putting baby to bed early = boring parent? Bit of a leap.

Ormirian · 20/12/2010 21:49

Well if she is 'a crier' whatever that means, which implies you think her tears are meaningless, why mention it. Most reasonable people would think it entirely unnacceptable to rant at someone until they wept.

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 21:50

5.15 - really? Thats not early, thats ridiculous.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 20/12/2010 21:50

Doens't mean that LifeForRent is a boring person though, does it? Just that she's different to you.

fishtankneedscleaning · 20/12/2010 21:51

jodiesMum. I agree x

ilovemyfestivehens · 20/12/2010 21:53

The OP wasn't ranting. She just had a bit of a go at her mother and the woman burst into tears. The OP said she started crying pretty early on. Sounds manipulative to me.

electra · 20/12/2010 21:53

You know what? You are lucky to have a parent who will look after your baby for you so you can have a break. You should have let her get on with it - YABVVU and sound unkind and unpleasant.

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 21:54

She sounds robotic Evil. Totally focused on the time of day. Where is the joy? What opportunities are there for family time when the kid is in bed before the Bedtime Hour! Just my opinion.

Morloth · 20/12/2010 21:54

Fucking hell, how rude are you? I hope you don't expect any further childcare help from them. If I was your Mum I would have driven your DC straight home to you and returned to the party telling you to call me when you get over yourself and are ready to apologise.

APixieInMyTea · 20/12/2010 21:56

Sorry Ilovemyfestivehens but "I flipped" does not just sound like having a go to me which she states in her Op she did.

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 21:56

I would never question my Mums judgement with children - she had four times as many children as me!!

ivykaty44 · 20/12/2010 22:00

I was never that keen on my ex MIL style of babysitting - shove dc in fornt of dvd and do housework, this was after asking to have dc. I would though be totally ashamed of myslf if I had ever made my MIL cry for soem of the silly things she did with dc and this would include keeping her up late (so she would hopefully sleep in in the morning)

The lady is my dc grandmother and my dc loves her dearly they both do - whatever I may think to her (wonderful at ironing though!)

I would be mortified if my dd purposly shouted at me till she made me cry Sad

If I had ever been mean to my mum, in the way you have OP, I hope that I would have had the courage to say sorry

jessiealbright · 20/12/2010 22:04

I don't know how much shouting you did, so I can't say whether you were being unreasonable.

But you weren't unreasonable to be upset. You asked her to give you a call to say they'd got back safely (seriously, it's terrible weather at the moment) and she said she would. You got no call, and naturally began to fear the worst. You finally get in touch with her 2 and a half hours later! And find she hasn't even left yet, and was just ignoring your calls. It was pretty thoughtless and self-centred of her. I mean, it's all very well to say you were having a break, but hardly a relaxing one, was it? Wondering whether they'd had a crash?

bupcakesandcunting · 20/12/2010 22:07

I would have been frantic and when I am frantic, I shout. If my mum gets shouted at, she cries. Doesn't take a lot of shouting to get her blubbing :) YANBU for panicking and losing your rag but maybe apologise and explain that you were imagining all sorts.

sharon137 · 20/12/2010 22:09

Re early bedtimes, I just wanted to say - my DS is 10 months, we aren't big on routines, but after a busy acive day sometimes DS starts getting tired at 430pm, and so we bath him early, etc, and he is asleep by 530. The consensus here seems to be that this is A Bad Thing... really? Why? We tried a few times to keep DS up later on days where he was tired really early, but it seemed cruel when he seemed soo keen to sleep. He usually goes to bed around 630pm but some days he is charging around with his cousins, or if he has been swimming etc, he is exhausted.
I tink LFR's attitude stinks, but I am just surprised at the response to her DS going to bed early??

oneortwo · 20/12/2010 22:09

"I would be mortified if my dd purposly shouted at me till she made me cry"

you sound like you think she did it with the intention of keeping it up until she got the result of her mum crying?

If my DH casually came hours later home than expected (and after not answering his phone) in this weather I'd probaby should "what the hell have you been doing I've been so worried" as I'd run to hug him. He'd hug me back and apologise, not cry!

oneortwo · 20/12/2010 22:11

I'd probably SHOUT

(can't spell at the best of times but seem to have extra typos tonight!, sorry)

JodiesMummy · 20/12/2010 22:13

Sharon - if the kid falls asleep early and is naturally tired then, fine. But LFR sounds really controlling and over-routined to me. 4.55 bath, 4.59 little drink, 5.02 quiet time. RIDICULOUS. Let children be children for goodness sake. They wont start mainlining crack if they stay up past six thirty every once in a while!

My DD was an excellent sleeper and would ideally be asleep for half six, but my DP would only see her for half an hour if she did that so we gradually stretched it to seven and then he could do bathtime and cuddle her for a bit. Did her no harm at all to have some Daddy time and he loved it too.

ilovemyfestivehens · 20/12/2010 22:14

Turning the tears on to wriggle out of a tight spot is the oldest trick in the book Hmm

I wouldn't fall for it tbh. The woman was wrong to go awol with the baby and she deserved to be challenged.

Imagining that your baby has been involved in some late night car crash in this weather is totally stressful and would make most mothers stress out until they were completely frantic by the end of the evening.

lovelyopaque · 20/12/2010 22:16

Why did the OP's Dad get away so scot free? Seems like it was his fault just as much Xmas Grin. YABU in the way you have handled this I think. Certainly I would have tried to phone once during the evening to check that dc was being no trouble. Not the other way around. You do need to remember who was doing whom the favour. when they returned dc in person, I would have said "I've been really worried, next time if you have no signal, could you please find a phone"

QuoththeRaven · 20/12/2010 22:18

sorry but im with the op. ops mum said they were popping into the party at 8.30pm for 5 minutes then heading home. They said they -weren't- going to the party for a long time, and that they'd phone her when they got home/dc was settled. They basically went against everything they said and didn't inform the op of what was happening. I dont think one single parent here would have been happy with this. Its no wonder OP freaked out a bit, and tbh i would have done the same. Its not as if she was phoning constantly with no reason, she was TOLD that they would phone, and only started panicing after she couldn't get hold of them.

Yes GP's love their GC and will look after them but i really do think that in this case they were being U (not to the dc, but to the op)

pigletmania · 20/12/2010 22:19

YABVU it was lovely of her to have your lo, no need for such dreadful behaviour. If I were your mum i would not look after your los again.

sharon137 · 20/12/2010 22:22

JM, :o at mainlining crack! We do try and work it so he can stay up a bit later. DP and I work alternate days, and do a lot from home, so we both see him lots every day, luckily.
I agree that OP was right to be worried, but I could never, ever imagine making my mum cry - and she would cry pretty easily if I shouted at her, I would imagine. Shouting at your mum is never reasonable, I think.

Morloth · 20/12/2010 22:22

My mother wouldn't have cried she would have shouted right back, then when I needed a babysitter my current large pool of sisters and aunts and cousins and neices and even my MIL would all tell me to get stuffed. You don't mess with my Mum.

I don't get strict routines for babies, how do you have any fun?

Swipe left for the next trending thread