to think OH is being tight and to take the presents back?

[Ladyanonymous]

OH is spending xmas with me and my kids. His kids are spending the week after xmas here with us and my kids. I have got a small gift for each of his kids.

He has now told my kids he has no intention of getting them anything for xmas as he doesn't even buy for his neice and nephew (who are abroad).

He has spent a ridiculous amount of money twice as much money on his kids than I have on mine (whilst claiming he is skint and allowing me to pay for things ) and his kids will be opening their presents here when they arrive.

AIBU to think that seeing as he is spending christmas here it's a bit mean for him to not even give my kids a token gift?

Should I take the gifts I got for his kids back as I don't want my kids to then see me give his kids gifts when he has made a point of not doing anything for mine IYSWIM...or is that just childish?

I honestly don't think she does, onmyfeet. Which is very worrying for her poor children.

I didn't initially make the connection between this thread and the contact over Boxing Day/New Year thread.

When I did, my heart sank. It seems quite clear that these children are caught in the middle of a very messy step-family/contact situation. They must be aware that the adults in their lives are not prioritising their needs above everything else. Their parents can't agree on contact over the highly emotive Christmas period - the last thread read very much as though both parents wanted the other one to have the children at least in part for their own convenience and needs and were not prepared to put their own squabbles to one side to make sure that the children had a smooth and stress-free holiday period.

The man who is effectively their step-father appears to be entirely unwilling to make the massive effort needed by any step-parent to establish his place in the children's lives, that place being in support of their relationship with their parents, ready to step in when needed and step back when appropriate. At the same time, their mother is bending over backwards to accommodate their step-siblings' needs and well-being, even to the extent of interfering in the arrangements for contact with their own father.

These children need to see that their mother is willing to insist that they take their rightful place at the centre of the lives of all adults involved in their upbringing. The other children involved seem to be in that place. Why not yours, OP? Are you a less forceful advocate of their rights than your OH is of his children's rights? If so, why?

I don't normally condone dirty washing being dragged from one forum to another, or even from one thread to another, but in this case I think it was probably justified given that the OP appears to be entirely unwilling to take on one iota of the weight of opinion here, despite saying that she posts to get an idea of that opinion before deciding how to proceed.