To not bath my son in a month

[Ryoko]

He's 7 months old and it's too damn cold in here, (he is starting to get stinky tho).

i think the heating is on but ineffective

My mother always told me that back in the old days, in late autumn children were given a bit of goose fat to smear on them then put into thermals, sewn into them and left in them all winter!! No baths until the next spring! Is that true or did she make it up?

Either way, back then they didn't have the option of heating. If he pays the bills, but you have money, why not announce that as of now you are switching on the heating and will be paying the difference in the bills. Why freeze your arse (and your baby's arse) off if you don't have to?

Sorry, everyone pussy footing around,

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A BABY THAT YOU CHOSE TO BRING INTO THIS WORLD, GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND TAKE CARE OF HIS NEEDS!!!

The way you talk about your partner, Whingy and whiney, lazy and dirty - LOOK IN THE MIRROR LOVE!

Absolutly fucking

Applauds babydubs!

Totally agree... the OP is an abuser ... definitely being emotionally abusive to her partner, and possibly causing harm to her child. Certainly neglectful at any rate.

Read the thead BabyDubs Op needs support not condemnation.

You are lashing out and inviting flaming because you are kind of hating yourself, I guess.

Well, it's worked. Feel better? Thought not.

Washing a 7 month old takes 2 minutes and can easily be done by one person, unless you have a physical disability you haven't mentioned. Sit the baby in the bath, with one of your arms around his back gripping his far away arm. That way no matter how he wriggles he will be safe and won't go into the water. Use your other hand, with or without flannel, to wash him. Takes no time to do it.

Better still, get a baby bath safety seat. They cost a tenner, which you can afford if you stop putting your money into duplicate games consoles. Or withdraw a farking tenner from your savings. Or save it by buying non-organic food for a week.

Also, fwiw, we live up two flights with a toddler and a baby the same age as yours. It is completely possible to still get shopping up and down the stairs. Lots of people with big families live in flats with no lifts and somehow still get the shopping in. I'm not entirely sure about the relevance of being a 5'4" nerd, as you put it.

won't go under the water, I meant

Disagree DooinMeCleanin

Abusive behaviour is vile, and is more likely to lead to further abuse.

It's absolutely NOT ok to call your child's father a 'nice but dim whiny little bitch'. It is ABUSE. And the child will grow up with abuse as normalised behaviour.

Spending your money on PS3s, various games and god knows what else, while not bathing your child for a month is NEGLECT.

And actually people have offered support, but the OP doesn't seem interested - she'd rather just lay the responsibility for her behaviour with everyone else.

Yes, so lets all shout at the OP and be abusive to her, so she wont come back.

That'll do her baby the power of good.

Grow up!

Eh? What on earth is abusive about pointing out abuse?

Stop being so pathetic and give your baby a bath!!!!!

Ryoko - heed these posts from the nice onees - you have classic signs of post-natal depression and you need to talk to a GP or your HV.
please.

It's perfectly fine to feel this way, but you need help to deal with it (especially if you feel your DP isn't able/willing to help you)

And you don't think any of the above smacks of depression and the feeling of hopelessness???

Ryoko does not think it is okay to not bath her son for a month. If she did she wouldn't starta thread about it would she? It would be a non issue to her.

Imo this thread is a bit of a cry for help, which atm, the majority of MN is failing spectacularly in giving that help/support.

I call my H worse than that. Never in front of the dc, but often on MN. I'm not 'abusive' to him. I am just venting so that I don' become abusive to him.

Look, I am not here to argue the toss with other posters.

I just really think the best way to help Ryoko's baby right now is to help Ryoko. And shouting her down and telling her she is pathetic isn't the way to do that. Can you not hear the self loathing and low self esteem dripping from every one of her posts? She knows she isn't coping. Why else would she have written this post?

I really think you should ask for this post to be moved out of the Lion's Den that is AIBU, Ryoko, and into Parenting.

cross posts with Dooin

agree PD

the OP has pretty much only posted in AIBU so knows the score

she might well be depressed, she migth well need support

but sometimes, you don't need the softly softly approach but a bit of tough love

it simply is not good enough

the DH should be able to see this too and should be stepping up to help Ryoko get support, but he's not, he's happy to wallow in his own stinkiness too

it is not healthy , it is not right, the OP has a million reasons why things are like this, and thinks her partner deserves the abuse

she needs help, or a kick up the arse or both

but starting with a wash for her and her baby

You need to get this sorted, pull your socks up woman,and please, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances use public transport....

Oh I didn't see that sorry.

Very sorry if I have upset or offended. I just get very cross if children are being neglected and bathing a child is necessary.

If the OP is losing perspective on life I just thought maybe she needed a jolt, the OP was about bathing the baby, that is what she asked and my opinion is life sounds very tough but the baby needs a bath.

Being stuck in with no social contact can sometimes lead to your perspective being lost, THE BABY NEEDS A BATH, no excuse.

Could you possibly go to a friend/neighbours/family member where it is warmer and bath your baby??

I would go so far to say a week would be acceptable without a bath if you wash him if it is very cold but a month is a long time.

I don't bath my baby often
once every two weeks or so
topped and tailed every day

she's grand

Oh.
I'd just like to echo something a PP said.
You will not catch a cold from your body getting a bit cold, it is a virus.

I normally bath my ds's every other night, or if I'm having a bad week, it might be every few days, but there is no reason what-so-ever to not at the very least give him a quick wipe down with a flannel. You don't even have to get him completely naked, do the top half first and then the bottom half.
BUT I feel this is only acceptable if they are bathing regularly.
Life is a struggle and tbh, I suggest you get used to it OP because it may get even harder as he gets older.

You have to do what needs to be done.
I live in a first floor flat and remember a while ago, going to the supermarket with my double pushchair and 2 ds's.
I don't drive and can only get a certain amount home on the pushchair and if I need more than I can transport home, I have to make 2 trips to the shop.
Then get all the shopping, 2 children (although easier now they can both manage the stairs) and a double pushchair up the stairs.

Saying in one of your posts that you try to play with your ds and that he has more toys than you can shake a stick at is irrelevant, he doesn't need toys, he needs to be clean and cared for.

If you feel you can't wash him in the bath, can't you put some water in the kitchen sink and do it there?

I will also add, that no matter what my dp said, if I felt we needed a heater to keep my child warm, I'd go and buy a bloody heater.