to be furious with DD's friends parents?

[WhyIsThatThenWithJingleBells]

Tonight is the end of term school disco and as I have woman flu I arranged lifts for DD to get her there abd home again. The disco ended at 9.30pm and at 9.43pm DD rang me to say that the parents thought the disco ended at 10pm!! We live 30mins drive from school.

I am furious and feel like just shutting the door in their faces once DD is home (and safely in the house). She is 11ys. AIBU??

FGS - YABVU. It's not like they are being left in some crack house or squat or something similar, unless the school disco has changed since I last looked.

Have you considered the fact that your DD friend may have told her parents the wrong time? I know that my DS, the same age, is a bit vague about detail on occaision.

Perhaps their DD told them it finished at 10pm?

YABU anyway, and hysterical.

Itsahollyjollytee - I think that's a worthwhile point actually. It's really important we teach our children independance - our daughters especially - if we want them to run their own lives.

You do realise that after a school disco volunteer parents and teachers have to stay to clear up and lock up (doubt you have ever been one of those!) So you precious darling will be perfectly safe. Why not concentrate on being grateful - to the decent staff and parents who made the disco possible and to the woman who thought she was helping a sick woman and her child?

From your OP, it seems that either:
a) Your life is so frustration-free that a minor cock-up is a huge deal
b) You have frightening anger issues which you could probably do with getting some help managing.

Having read your follow up posts, I suspect it's probably b).

Exactly NorthernLurker. If my 11 year old called me from school in a panic over this I would be worried that I hadn't taught her well. Not worried that her ride made a mistake in the time.

Presumably this was at school. With school staff supervising? So the children, although late being collected, were safe in a school building with adults around. Presumably at 11y the girls are old enough to go and tell one of the adults the problem? So adults know they are there and they are safe?

Everyone makes a mistake. We have pretty much all been there.

I once forgot to pick up my friend's DD from school a couple of months ago. I did remember, but late. I was late collecting. I felt guilty and bad about it, but the little girl was safe and I had let her mum know once I realised my error. Fortunately the mum was much nicer in realising it was a genuine mistakeand we are still good friends.

You are not being unreasonable to feel a bit "eek" at first realising, but you are bing unreasonable to be furious, angry, annoyed, etc.

It was a mistake

mumto2andnomore Sat 11-Dec-10 09:07:13

"I have an 11 year old and am totally neurotic about her getting home safely so if I expected her about 10 and she didnt arrive till 10.30 I would be very worried. However this didnt happen with you, you had a phone call so in that case I would be fine. Everyone makes mistakes.Hope you are feeling better today."

My thoughts too, OP's DD's call should certainly have calmed OP down. There was just 15 minutes between the phone call and the time the parents were going to turn up in good faith, just having made a mistake.

11? Year 7?

Probably no PTA presence then but someone will have been there.

Even at sixth form parties there will be supervising dults. So for Y7 I can pretty much guarantee there will either be PTA or school staff there as responsible adults if it is held on the school site, certainly ime.

I think the two girls will hve been very safe. And at 11y I would hope they are both capable of going to tell a grown up at the school the situation, without panicing.

Nominate for classics? Perfect example of AIBU denial.

Seriously, OP I think you were worried because it is something you would feel terrible if you did yourself. You handed over the responsibility and probably feel huge guilt in some way.

I hope the responses on here can give you some perspective on the fact that we all make mistakes, and in this case your DD was on school property and mildly inconvenienced rather than placed in danger.

Absolutely loving it!!

AIBU 1,000 x NO

'Fuck off all of you'

I totally agree that if my 11 year old and a group of her friends were 'freaked out' & 'scared' being in the school foyer, with teachers/parents for another 15 minutes I would definitely feel I had failed her and would be telling them not to be so bloody stupid.

I wonder when MNHQ will start a new topic 'I'm being ridiculous irrational but want you all to agree with me'

Furious is a bit of an overreaction, I'm sure the school staff would have made sure everyone was getting picked up or able to get home safely before they left, they wouldn't have driven off and left a little girl standing alone outside the school gates at 10pm!

If she was in the school building, with a friend and responsible adults there with her, I really don't see that it's such a big problem or any need to be 'scared'. Sometimes misunderstandings and delays happen, and having to wait half an hour is not the greatest hardship in the world.

A truly bonkers thread that has made me laugh!!!

at this thread

Such fun!
This thread.

Hope she got home ok.

I want a 'i am being ridiculous but I want you all to agree with me' topic. Sounds fab and would save so much time.

Fine idea chipping

Poor OP, she sounds delirious.

Ah...so this thread is what is meant by MN at it's worst?

OP asking in AIBU so that gives licence for wolves to round up and make a character assassination.

Glad I found out so soon in my MN life....

OK, we can't all agree on what is BU, we are all different but personal insults directed at the OP are pretty low.

As you were

GlynistheMincePie, did you actually read the thread? We did all agree that she was BU. all except the OP that is, who decided we were all wrong and could fuck off.

She asked, opinions were given, tis the way of the AIBU board.

OP, for the record, another one here who thinks that yes indeed YABU.

I'll just go forth and multiply now, shall I?

Does anyone else like making Christmas Sock Puppets?