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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be furious with DD's friends parents?

186 replies

WhyIsThatThenWithJingleBells · 10/12/2010 21:55

Tonight is the end of term school disco and as I have woman flu I arranged lifts for DD to get her there abd home again. The disco ended at 9.30pm and at 9.43pm DD rang me to say that the parents thought the disco ended at 10pm!! We live 30mins drive from school.

I am furious and feel like just shutting the door in their faces once DD is home (and safely in the house). She is 11ys. AIBU??

OP posts:

LauraNorder · 10/12/2010 22:49

Is she back yet OP?

Summerbird73 · 10/12/2010 22:50

Kendodd · 10/12/2010 23:01

I suspect the OP will not be coming back to update on door slamming.

IloveJudgeJudy · 10/12/2010 23:03

I think YABU. The girls are 11, not 4, it's not their first school disco. They won't be left on their own. People will be clearing up and, anyway, someone will have to lock up the school after they've left. It usually takes the disco people up to half an hour to clear their stuff away.

The other parents made a small mistake, but they were doing you a favour. They might have been taking their own daughter in any case, but that doesn't mean they're not doing you a favour taking your daughter.

You'll have to lighten up. You should have made light of it to your daughter. I can't believe your daughter was so uptight, either. She and her friend won't have been there on their own. They should have been helping to clear up.

MissAnneElk · 10/12/2010 23:36

I've picked up my DDs from many school events and in my experience they never finish on time and I end up freezing in the car park for 20 minutes. I picked up DD2 (and two of her friends) tonight and was 10 minutes late - they all survived - and the car park was still heaving as I left. Neither of the parents slammed the door in my face for being late. Actually, now I think of it I picked up DD1 last night - she was 20 minutes late in arriving at the appointed pick up and also didn't answer her phone. Maybe I should have refused to unlock
the car door and mouthed 'fuck off' as I drove off.
OP take a couple of paracetamol and go to bed is my advice.

notalone · 10/12/2010 23:55

Jeez - YABVU - get a grip. If you are so perfect go and get both girls yourself. Otherwise cut her some slack- she is doing YOU a favour. If you slam the door in her face you are bag out of order, and yes, definitely lacking in social skills. Normal people do not behave like this in these circumstances

Muumimama · 10/12/2010 23:57

I guess this is now resolved, I haven't read it all. But seriously? Too ill to drive but well enough to bitch on MN? Why at 9.45 didn't you go and collect her if it made you so furious? Not furious enough to go and collect you DD!

moulesvinrouge · 11/12/2010 00:11

How dare you ask for advice and then tell people to fuck off when they are helpful and suggest it isn't a problem. Good luck when she is 13 then!!!

izzywizzywoowooo · 11/12/2010 00:15

If you were that bothered you should of took and collected your children yourself? Not rocket science is it?

Oh and when I have flu I am not even awake enough to come and bitch on NM?

magicmummy1 · 11/12/2010 00:17

Oh, give the OP a break. She obviously came on here for a rant that didn't work out. She's feeling lousy and so she told us to fuck off. It's not the end of the world.

lovingthesun · 11/12/2010 00:27

I used to give a friend a lift to an evening class & I was ALWAYS late & she was ALWAYS frosty, despite me helping her out.

Eventually I dropped the class cos i couldn't be bothered with her sour face .

Not unreasoable to be worried, I think you should have made sure to check the time with the other parents though.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 11/12/2010 00:27

well, I'm quite often that ditzy mum- turning up at the wrong place, wrong time...so I would understand that mistakes are made. Bear in mind their own daughter would have been left standing there too, so they haven't done this to spite you!

If it makes you feel better, I once ca,e home from work at 7.30pm and asked where dd1 was. She was at a party, and was supposed to have been picked up at 7, only dad and Dh had their wires crossed and noone had picked her up I had to go and grovel to the mum holding the party. DD was playing happily with the birthday girl, No harm was done (although I'm sure birthday girl's mum was quietly cursing me and my family )

I hope your dd is home now, and that you were suitably gracious to the parents. After all, it might be your turn to return the favour the next time, and you might get a flat tyre on the way there...

JockTamsonsBairns · 11/12/2010 03:43

at "might wander off unsupervised ".
Christ, they're 11, not two and a half!

I'm sure your DD is safely back home now, and you're getting a good nights rest. Hopefully, any slamming of doors talk was just a momentary feeling, and you didn't actually do that? You'll be mortified in the morning if you did!

Hope you feel better tomorrow x

Goblinchild · 11/12/2010 03:53

Well, I hated supervising school discos with parents who turned up late, as did the rest of the staff. So now we leave it up to the PTA who can yell and slam doors in people's faces and scold. Which it is hard to do as a teacher, because parents think you ought to enjoy spending unpaid time with their children on a Friday night.
Hope your DD got home fine, and that you've given a restrained response OP.

PadmeHum · 11/12/2010 04:51

OP - what do you imagine is going to happen in 30 minutes. The girls are together and at the school.

The bogeyman is not going to come out and get them, nor is Freddie Kruger lurker. What you are really saying is that you are overly paranoid about lurking paedophiles. Let's face it they aren't really in any imminent danger.

You need to chill out and stop being such a helicopter mother.

The children will be FINE.

You should thank the parents providing the lift graciously and NEVER, EVER ask anybody to do you a favour again.

onmyfeet · 11/12/2010 06:39

Well, I don't think you are being unreasonable for being annoyed. It was irresponsible of them to not know when the dance was over.
The girls were probably safe, there were probably adults there who would stick around until they were collected. (I hope)

However, I would not slam the door in their face, but I would say I very worried about them there alone, and ask if they had been locked out of the building.

NorthernLurker · 11/12/2010 08:59

I can't believe how the op reacted here. She must have had a very, very high temp indeed to be so RUDE!

mumto2andnomore · 11/12/2010 09:07

I have an 11 year old and am totally neurotic about her getting home safely so if I expected her about 10 and she didnt arrive till 10.30 I would be very worried. However this didnt happen with you, you had a phone call so in that case I would be fine. Everyone makes mistakes.Hope you are feeling better today.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 11/12/2010 09:08

OP - would you mums making all my decisions for me future? As you've clearly never made a mistake.

ItsAHollyJollyTee · 11/12/2010 09:09

I'll get flamed for this but, honestly if your 11 year old daughter is freaked out over being left at school with her friend and probably a few teachers for 30 minutes? Then, yes, I do think you are a shit mum.

Untie the apron strings. Teach her some better coping skills for when things don't go as planned.

When I was 11 I was walking home from the school disco with my friends, it was part of the fun of the evening.

RawDEal · 11/12/2010 09:11

YABU.
I would probably roll my eyes in frustration at them getting the time wrong in the privacy of my own home but I wouldn't go as far as to shut the door in their faces! They're doing you a favour. People make mistakes. If you can't tolerate other people's inperfections, pick her up yourself next time.

JeezyPeeps · 11/12/2010 09:16

Why post in AIBU if you are not willing to face the fact that you might actually be BU?

It's annoying, yes, but its not life or death. YABU to be so ungrateful and I'd imagine the parents are feeling bad about leaving the girls there for an extra half hour.

It's not difficult to confirm pick up times with them when you arrange the lift - in fact its fairly normal to do so, IMO.

thebrownstuff · 11/12/2010 09:24

Too late to the party as usual I see

I'm sure your DD was back safely last night?

OP, come back.

Imarriedafrog · 11/12/2010 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 11/12/2010 09:32

LOL

It's another candidate for the much needed "I'm not being unreasonable no matter what you all say'" topic.

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