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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious with DD's friends parents?

186 replies

WhyIsThatThenWithJingleBells · 10/12/2010 21:55

Tonight is the end of term school disco and as I have woman flu I arranged lifts for DD to get her there abd home again. The disco ended at 9.30pm and at 9.43pm DD rang me to say that the parents thought the disco ended at 10pm!! We live 30mins drive from school.

I am furious and feel like just shutting the door in their faces once DD is home (and safely in the house). She is 11ys. AIBU??

OP posts:
TheUnmentioned · 10/12/2010 22:04

Ok, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because you say you're ill but they ARE doing youb a favour you know. The woman down the road sometimes took ds to nursery (along with her son) when I was heavily pregnant, I am eternally grateful.

SantasENormaSnob · 10/12/2010 22:05

Just because their dd was going and they live near doesn't mean it isn't a favour.

TheUnmentioned · 10/12/2010 22:05

think the neighbours live a few doors away not the venue of the disco compo

pooka · 10/12/2010 22:05

:)

Original poster
WhyIsThatThenWithJingleBells · 10/12/2010 22:05

I lack social skills.....really? Thats very funny and thanks for the pity.

Would you all be so calm if it was your child though?? I am genuinely shocked.

No, its not an huge problem but I do expect them to arrive on time to pick them up. All of the girls were fairly upset and worried.

OP posts:
joydivisionovengloves · 10/12/2010 22:06

YANBU for caring but YABVVU for reacting with such fury that someone has made a mistake. Your DD is 11, not a toddler and with a friend. Not the end of the world.

TheUnmentioned · 10/12/2010 22:06

all? how many are there?

pooka · 10/12/2010 22:07

BUt presumably it was easily sorted out - your dd has her phone with her. Could ring the friend's parents. And just wait for the 17 minutes between phoning you and the parents arriving.

Summerbird73 · 10/12/2010 22:07

SHutting the door in their faces just ensures that they will NEVER do you a favour ever again. And you never know when you will really need it.

Mistakes happen - and you did ask if you are being unreasonable, the unanimous answer was given. Shame it wasnt the one you wanted.

SerendipitousHarlot · 10/12/2010 22:07

I really would be calm, yes. They're not waiting outside Spearmint Rhino you know. They will be being watched, and the parents just made a mistake. And honestly, you sound horribly ungrateful.

GiselleS · 10/12/2010 22:08

YABU, they have done you a favour!

I really don't understand why you have a problem with them being half an hour late. It was a mistake, remember it next time you make one!

If you shut the door in their face you really are an idiot. Also, you will probably make your daughter feel very uncomfortable.

QuickLookBusySanta · 10/12/2010 22:08

Why tbh I would be annoyed if someone was late picking my 11 year old up on a dark cold night. But I know my DH would say "don't worry they'll be fine"

I expect the OP came on just for a bit of reassurance, so back off a bit everyone!!

moulesvinrouge · 10/12/2010 22:08

It's half an hour ffs - she's 11 not 3. Give yourself a break (smile)

SantasENormaSnob · 10/12/2010 22:08

For the 3rd time, why should the onus not fall on you for failing to clarify times?

Original poster
WhyIsThatThenWithJingleBells · 10/12/2010 22:09

I am worried about the safety issues of the girls having to wait for a lift. Thats why I expected them to arrive on time.

I pity all your children that you can be so flippant about this. Its late, they are young.

OP posts:
FanjoKazooie · 10/12/2010 22:10

Eh? It's a SCHOOL disco yes? Not Ritzees on the High St?

So presumably there will be staff there who would not wander off leaving a bunch of 11 girls on their own?

YABVU

pooka · 10/12/2010 22:11

And they're in a group together and again, I presume they are still on the school site or immediately outside and not roaming the streets indiscriminately.

LauraNorder · 10/12/2010 22:11

Can't see the problem, it's only half an hour, it's Friday, you can't get her, they are doing you a favour. Most importantly - did she have a good time?

HollyTwat · 10/12/2010 22:11

I think you are reacting because you are unwell.

Don't be rude leave it till you are feeling better and you might feel differently. They are probably just as worried and are desperate to get there

Kendodd · 10/12/2010 22:11

Note to self 'do not do people favours, I might get doors slammed in my face'

BelligerentGhoul · 10/12/2010 22:11

You are being very unreasonable. They won't have been left alone; teachers aren't allowed to leave children until they're picked up. You really are being unfair to people who are doing you a favour.

It would be appallingly badly behaved of you to do anything other than smile and say 'thank you' when they arrive at your house, imho.

pozzled · 10/12/2010 22:11

It's a school disco. She will not have had to wait outside, they will be inside, with several responsible adults, probably helping to clear up the hall.

It's a mild irritation rather than a huge cause for concern. And there will be no need for you to say anything to the parents as they will already have been given very disapproving looks from the teachers!

SerendipitousHarlot · 10/12/2010 22:12

You know, you don't seem very poorly to me. How have you got the energy to get so cross? It's half. an. hour. They are being collected. They have phones. You're being silly now.

magicmummy1 · 10/12/2010 22:12

YABVU to be furious about a genuine mistake when someone is trying to help you out. Your dd is at school and will be safe, she is with her friend and will be collected soon. It isn't the end of the world if they have to wait for a bit.

I hope you're not always this ungrateful when you ask people to do favours for you.

Sassybeast · 10/12/2010 22:12

Hopefully it's the fever that's making you sound a bit deranged. Assuming that the disco finishes at 9.30 pm, there WILL still be teachers, poor PTA volunteers and caretakers still there clearing up. As someone mentioned, if they'd been dumped outside Spearmint Rhino, your outrage would be justified. Have some nurofen and go to bed - you'll feel better in the morning Xmas Wink