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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear a mid thigh tight velvet dress when i am 39?

317 replies

h20 · 09/12/2010 22:03

Well, thoughts please?

OP posts:
LaraJade · 11/12/2010 13:57

OMG - i remember being 21, polly, in 1997/8. Going clubbing wearing a see thru white Morgan mini , 2hrs sleep then at the office necking pro plus all day then back out that night.
I remember thinking my boss was old (at 35!!) + being shocked when she got pregnant.
I remember thinking 30 was over the hill, too old for minis, clubbing, first marriages, and festivals. As for 40 - that was ancient!
Now i am 34 - still going out (to bars), wearing minis (not see-thru tho!), 12 stone (aagh), still waiting for that 1st marriage, and trying to find out if i can get pregnant.
I am happier than ever with a proper career as a nurse, a nice home and a future of possibilities ahead. I look better because i work out, know how to dress and style my hair.
At some point you will grow up too.

LaraJade · 11/12/2010 15:35

(Sorry didn't mean that last sentence to sound bitchy. Just meant that when you get older you will still feel young IYSWIM).

alicatte · 11/12/2010 16:11

I wouldn't do it myself however my job requires a bit of sartorial decorum. I think it would be fine for the evening though - I agree with many other posters, if you look good why not?

porcamiseria · 11/12/2010 18:11

depends on the state of your thighs really!!! what size r u

ShoppingDays · 11/12/2010 18:27

YANBU. It doesn't depend on your size, age or appearance at all. You can wear whatever you like and you don't need our agreement!

FairiesWearSnowBoots · 11/12/2010 19:32

If you have the legs for it then yes, but only with opaque black tights. And only because it is velvet.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 11/12/2010 20:57

I will grow up Larajade??

I'm 21, not 12. I wouldnt say i'm immature. I run two succesful business, was a manager before my 19th birthday, own my lovely home and have a gorgeous daughter and an amazing hubby. I dont think 35 (age of ur previous boss) is old at all. I employ several ppl of that age and older and dont think of them as old at all. I do watch SATC and love it, but even then some of they things they wear as insane and dont suit them at all, even tho they are all tiny, have good legs etc some stuff they wear is insane and if i seen them wearing it, i wouldn't be able to help starring, and not in a good way!!!

xkittyx · 11/12/2010 21:29

Ha ha you sound like a female version of Hairbags the Brand :)

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 11/12/2010 21:34

I dont even know what that means

UntitledNo2 · 11/12/2010 21:59

Go for it OP. FWIW, my Mother is 55, and has several body-con dresses in her wardrobe (mid thigh, yes, but always with long sleeves, a higher neckline and 120 denier TS tights, for balance), as well as lots of skinny jeans etc. She had a fabulous (toned size 8) figure, killer legs, not a trace of cellulite and is bloody beautiful, and virtually wrinkle free, to boot.

She is one of the most stylish women I know, never looks like mutton dressed as lamb (or indeed a 'slut', which incidentally Polly, is a horrid way to refer to any woman), and is always classy looking. She sometimes frets that she ought to dress more 'age appropriate', ie, like my somewhat frumpy aunts. Bugger to that, I say. Her gorgeous clothes make her feel good, and I personally believe that, in part, her vivacity and fun loving attitude are down to her dressing in a way that makes her feel younger (not saying people who don't dress like her aren't vivacious or fun loving, just that it seems to work for her).

Sorry for going off on a tangent there OP ( I think my Mum is fabulous, can you tell?!), but what I was trying to convey was, age means bugger all! If you can pull it off, and have the confidence, wear whatever you fancy. Enjoy it, don't let anyone tell you that you ought not wear whatever it is that makes you feel good, and remember, there is plenty of time for conservative when you are 85!! Grin

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 11/12/2010 22:07

I didnt say your mother looked like mutton dressed as lamb or a slut.

UntitledNo2 · 11/12/2010 22:07

Oh, and I would be mighty jealous of her (given that I can't pull off at 25 some of what looks great on her at 55), but I'm hoping her good genes will stand in my favour, and I will suddenly in 20 years or so develop fierce legs and a tiny waist! Envy Grin

UntitledNo2 · 11/12/2010 22:13

Oh Polly, I didn't actually say that you did. However, you did say the following:

'If ladies in their late 30s and 40s want to dress like sluts then do what u like. '

You are of course entitled to your opinion, but you cannot be shocked if it is deemed to be offensive by many of the posters on this thread.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 11/12/2010 22:18

That is my opinion. And i hate seeing women dressed like their teenage daughters and nicking their clothes!!

It offends me to see 'ladies' dressed like tht.

zoley · 11/12/2010 22:46

Conveniently enough Jess Cartner-Morley Guardian fashion editor appears in the Weekend magazine today wearing a beautiful mid-thigh velvet dress and looking neither mumsy or slutty, just FAB! Hurrah! Grin

UntitledNo2 · 11/12/2010 22:48

Well, I haven't seen anyone refer to dressing like teenagers, or indeed borrowing their clothes.

Incidentally, it offends me to see any woman refer to other women as 'ladies'. Why the inverted commas? What on earth does that mean? That a woman is not ladylike if she chooses to celebrate her body or dress in stylish and/or youthful clothing beyond the ripe old age of 21?

As an aside, you are aware that not all women even want to be considered 'ladies'? I am a woman. As are my Mother, my sisters, and presumably the Op and many others on this thread. Women, in control of our own bodies, proud of who we are, the way we dress, and not bound by some antiquated notion of what a 'lady' ought to look like.

woolymindy · 11/12/2010 22:50

It is not what you wear but how you wear it and always always wear high heels - you'll be good!

spaceman · 11/12/2010 22:55

OMG I'm 37 and am planning on going out in a sparkly black mini dress that comes just below my arse next week!

I think I look great in it - I have fab legs even if I say so myself.

So long as the length is good on you and suite your leg shape then go for it. I wouldn't personally wear a mid-thigh length cut as it makes me look a wee bit tarty, but if it's good for you then great and have a good evening!

zoley · 11/12/2010 22:55

Link to a picture - she has two children, is in her thirties and looks great so I rest my case. Smile

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/11/how-to-dress-ruffles

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 11/12/2010 22:58

By 'ladies' i mean not teenagers!!! Why on earth would that offend you?

zoley · 11/12/2010 23:08

I personally don't like being referred to as a lady because I don't think of myself as one, I think of myself and refer to myself as a woman. The word lady conjures up images of conduct that don't apply to me and makes me think of times when 'ladies' were expected to wear hats and gloves at all times and behave with decorum, er no thanks!

I'll be on the trampoline/slide with the kids in my skinny jeans i think...

UntitledNo2 · 11/12/2010 23:15

spaceman - Go for it. Your dress sounds gorgeous, and if you have fab legs, flaunt them!

zoley - Jess does indeed look great. Fair dues to her!

Polly :

'By 'ladies' i mean not teenagers!!! Why on earth would that offend you?'

Er, because why should we have to be ladies or teenagers? As I said previously, I am not a 'lady'. Nor am I a teenager. Why are my choices limited to 'teenager' or 'lady'? I am a woman. I am proud to be a woman. As are all the women I know.

Hear me roar Grin

UntitledNo2 · 11/12/2010 23:19

zoley

Cross posts! You have voiced all my thoughts. I think I love you Wink

See you on the slide in our skinnies!

zoley · 11/12/2010 23:21

Untitled - love back again - see you there Wink

zoley · 11/12/2010 23:26

PS Untitled your Mum sounds wonderful, proving that it's all about style not rules defined by age.
I'm 40 and wouldn't feel myself if I adhered to the dress codes some are advocating here, it's a free world so if the OP fancies mid-thigh then wear it and enjoy it!

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