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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to politely request no gifts?

143 replies

itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:09

4 days before Christmas is my dd's birthday/party. The location of the party means that there will more than likely be a fair walk to the car. In addition in the venue there is no storage space whatsoever. She's having a large party, and I'm now having nightmares, after someone said what are you going to do with all those presents. I hadn't even thought of presents. It's becoming a logistical nightmare, time is tight, so I can't give myself or dh time to get presents back to car. I don't particularly want to leave presents in the car due to risk of theft.

If you were coming to this party, and received an email along the following lines would you be peeved, and would it get your hackles up:

Hope you are looking forward to the party, we most definitely are. Please may we request that due to logistics of storage, that you do not bring presents. See you there x.

OP posts:
ICouldHaveWrittenThis · 07/12/2010 21:11

Never mind the guests, I think your DD will be mightily pissed off!

Can't someone go and get the car for you to load the presents into when the party is over?

Meglet · 07/12/2010 21:12

How old is she? If she's young enough to not notice then YANBU.

myermay · 07/12/2010 21:12

how can you request no presents for you dd bday party, seems mean to me, even if it means carrying them along way to the car. Surely she'd be disappointed

Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:13

Take a bin bag. Is this really a problem?

Hulababy · 07/12/2010 21:13

Can you not just get help ith getting the gifts to the car after?

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:13

There is literally nowhere for them during the party. I thought of having the car beforehand, but like I say timings are tight, and then they would be left in car, so not good from risk POV.

I thought I would talk to my dd, and explain to her.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 21:13

There must be room for presents ..and your poor dd, having a birthday near christmas is bad enough, without no present rules because it inconveniences you

Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:14

Or a washing basket. I saw someone do this recently at a party.Great idea!

Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:15

Does this place not normally have parties?

myermay · 07/12/2010 21:15

why choose the venue then? i don't see why you can't put a small table near the door and people can just put their gifts. Get dh or another parent to take them to the care as party starts. Just lock them in your boot. Don't see the problem

ItsKurriiiistmas · 07/12/2010 21:16

suitcase on wheels to get them back to the car? - how many presents are you anticipating?

BigTillyMincepie · 07/12/2010 21:16

I can't believe you couldn't stuff a bin bag full of toys under a table at the party. Nowhere would host parties and say there was no space for presents.

You could ask for vouchers / money, but many people will probably still prefer to give a present.

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:17

Numbers are very large it would be numerous binbags.

I can honestly say we were thinking of celebrations and presents hadn't even occurred to us. DD to be honest is not bothered about birthday i.e. hasn't even got anything for us to get her, just has her gifts that she wants from FC.

OP posts:
lal123 · 07/12/2010 21:18

There must be a corner somewhere where you can keep a bin bag for presents?

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:18

Without revealing to much in case any of guests are reading - this isn't somewhere geared to parties at all, we've just made it a party.

OP posts:
lal123 · 07/12/2010 21:19

If it's a venue big enough for large numbers then it's big enough for presents? Can you ask some others to help with bringing them home?

Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:19

Right, if you want ideas for solving this you need to answer the questions.
How old is DD?
How many guests?
Why are you so certain there is no room for presents...what is it about the venue that makes a table or a couple of binbags so impossible?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:20

Agree with those who feel for your poor dd, If you've gone to the troiuble of throwing her a party surely you can manage to gather up a few presents at the end of it.

If someone sent this (particularly for a child with a birthday so near christmas I would be very Hmm for the poor girl talk about double whammy.

What are you going to say to your dd "sorry we can't have gifts dd, as it might be a bit difficult to get them to the car" {hmm] Sad What to you plan to do with those who ignore your "polite" request leave the presents at the venue, hand them straight back....

Have you spoken with the venue to see if another arrangement can be reached if it's regularly hired out for parties surely this is not the first time this has been seen as an issue?

Firawla · 07/12/2010 21:20

just bring bin bags just incase, that email will come across as rude/presumptuous

Hulababy · 07/12/2010 21:21

Have one of you stand at door with bin bas for gifts and take them straight to car?

taintedsnow · 07/12/2010 21:21

I think it's very unfair on your DD to do this. There must be an adult who can be put in charge of the presents.

lal123 · 07/12/2010 21:23

Is it a zoo?

Sparkle2010 · 07/12/2010 21:25

Aside from the fact its unfair to your daughter, a lot of guests have probably got her something by now anyway!

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:25

Surely if one of you (drivers) went back for the car, stopped to load the present prior to your next engagement that is not beyond the realms of basic logistics...

Oh and next time give yourself more time Grin

Sparkle2010 · 07/12/2010 21:25

Can guests take the presents to the car before they go in?