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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to politely request no gifts?

143 replies

itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:09

4 days before Christmas is my dd's birthday/party. The location of the party means that there will more than likely be a fair walk to the car. In addition in the venue there is no storage space whatsoever. She's having a large party, and I'm now having nightmares, after someone said what are you going to do with all those presents. I hadn't even thought of presents. It's becoming a logistical nightmare, time is tight, so I can't give myself or dh time to get presents back to car. I don't particularly want to leave presents in the car due to risk of theft.

If you were coming to this party, and received an email along the following lines would you be peeved, and would it get your hackles up:

Hope you are looking forward to the party, we most definitely are. Please may we request that due to logistics of storage, that you do not bring presents. See you there x.

OP posts:
Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:41

I'm telling ya, washing basket is the way to go!

Are some of the adults aunties/uncles/grandparents/close friends? because they'll all just have to grab an armful each and help you get it back to the car. Simples.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:41

I would speak to the venue again, If you've got that many people coming surely you must have some clout. Even if they just stored during the party behind a reception desk or something?

Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:42

No, honestly, I don't like the voucher idea. She's 6, let her have her presents.

panettoinydog · 07/12/2010 21:43

You must have reasonably close friends and family amongst your 15 adults. Get them to help put some presents in boots.

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:43

Please may I send a request that gifts cannot be more than 10cm cubed?!?!? Grin

OP posts:
panettoinydog · 07/12/2010 21:43

It would be obscene, though, getting 60 presents.

LadyInaManger · 07/12/2010 21:43

itsasmallworld glad you like the idea, it also deals with the overload of presents so near to Xmas (especially repeat ones if 60 kids coming) and that way she can buy what she fancies maybe in the New Year when there are sales and she can get more for her money!

No one else has commented though Sad Grin

LadyInaManger · 07/12/2010 21:45

oops X posted with Dansmommy!

usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 21:45

Yes 60 presents is over the top ..but its obscene to have a party for 60 kids imo

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:45

To be honest with you if I don't get the presents in the car at the start, then each child will be holding their gift or each adult will be holding on to 4 presents for the duration of the party.

Okay I'll speak to venue tomorrow to plead that they find a space for presents somewhere/anywhere.

Failing that it will be car out the front, and then load up before party.

OP posts:
Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:46

itsasmallworld Tue 07-Dec-10 21:43:30
Please may I send a request that gifts cannot be more than 10cm cubed?!?!?

Great idea!!!

Seriously though, could you just 'spread the word' rather than send an email? I think people will consider the size if they cotton on that it might be a problem.

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:47

I'm certainly not telling you the venue now - you'll all be outside looking for my car full of your christmas gifts!!!! GrinGrin

OP posts:
evolucy7 · 07/12/2010 21:47

For goodness sake, let your daughter have presents that guests want to pick for her. If you are able to email people to ask about the presents, why not email and ask them to come a little earlier if there isn't time to gtake presents back to cars before it starts or something. Or ask the parents to bring presents at the end if they are leaving children with you.

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:49

Oooh that's a fantastic idea evolucy7 - I could ask them to bring the gifts when they collect.

Anyone offended by this idea?

OP posts:
evolucy7 · 07/12/2010 21:54

Sorted Smile

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:55

Still think it's a bit presumptive, you're better off not saying anything at all because there will always be those who bitch find fault easily. (and how many will you have to meet at the school gate afterwards)

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:55

And that's the wonder of MN another problem solved Smile

OP posts:
ICouldHaveWrittenThis · 07/12/2010 21:56

A friend of mine had a post box for presents at her daughters birthday. How about setting up something like this in the boot of your car, or in the doorway to the venue? Once it's filled get someone to run the full bag back to the car?
(rather than just asking them to chuck the presents in the back of your car)

p.s. 60 people? you is mad :)

evolucy7 · 07/12/2010 21:56

Oh come on, everyone takes a present to a child's birthday party Hmm

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:57

But if i spread that I'd prefer them at the end, if some are adament that they are going to bring them at the start, I can probably cope with 1/4 turning up this way, worse case each adult helper is in charge of one gift.

OP posts:
ICouldHaveWrittenThis · 07/12/2010 21:57

when I say post box, I mean mahoooosive cardboard box with a letterbox in the front.

mumto2andnomore · 07/12/2010 21:59

I dont understand why on earth you are having 60 to a party! Is she really friends with them all, if not whats the point ?

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 22:00

I'm just having visions of it looking like a royal mail sorting office at christmas with 60 parcels Grin

Stark raving - but it turned into a bigger snowball, than anything I could of created in this week's snow!!! And I do have to learn the word no. What a fantastic party we'd love to come may we no no no yes!!!

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taintedsnow · 07/12/2010 22:00

I don't think the vouchers are a good idea, sorry! For one, six-year-olds will want to give and receive presents, and so they should! Secondly, as we know from the numerous wedding threads, it's bad etiquette to mention the expectation of presents, even when it's obvious guests will bring them. Not to mention that the kids love running in and giving the presents to the birthday child, which probably counts out the idea of bringing them when they collect (and you'd also have to mention the presents to the guests before the party). The only option here that will be good for everyone is to accept the presents that are brought to the party and handle them as they come in. And with 15 adults, I think you can definitely sort something!

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 22:01

Unfortunately large family so there's cousins, long standing family friends, out of school friends and school friends.

OP posts: