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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to politely request no gifts?

143 replies

itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:09

4 days before Christmas is my dd's birthday/party. The location of the party means that there will more than likely be a fair walk to the car. In addition in the venue there is no storage space whatsoever. She's having a large party, and I'm now having nightmares, after someone said what are you going to do with all those presents. I hadn't even thought of presents. It's becoming a logistical nightmare, time is tight, so I can't give myself or dh time to get presents back to car. I don't particularly want to leave presents in the car due to risk of theft.

If you were coming to this party, and received an email along the following lines would you be peeved, and would it get your hackles up:

Hope you are looking forward to the party, we most definitely are. Please may we request that due to logistics of storage, that you do not bring presents. See you there x.

OP posts:
Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:26

Ok
DD will be 6.
60 guests
No storage - trust me on this not a party venue, and there is absolutely no storage secure or otherwise.
AIBU to not leave in car? Would you leave in car? Because I think that's all I could do, is have car at front, be a bit rude, accept presents graciously, load into car, and then drive car off to park.

OP posts:
EvilTwinsAteRudolph · 07/12/2010 21:26

I wondered if it was an outdoor venue. I think your email idea is a bit odd, to be honest, as you state "due to venue..." If that was me, I'd think you wanted me to give the gift at a different time.

If it's an outdoor thing, even given the walk to the car, could you not get a couple of adults to take charge of presents and take them back to the car (even if it meant a couple of journeys)during the party? Seems a bit mean not to allow presents TBH.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:28

Is it only me who's slightly intriged at the venue

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:28

No it's indoors.
I hadn't thought through logistics for presents like I say really hadn't occurred to me, I should of made the arrival time earlier, to get this sorted, but to be honest with you I kept the arrival time as is, as wanted to minimise 60 kids hanging around.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 21:29

I think guest would be ok if you loaded presents into the car ..

usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 21:29

Where is the tiny venue [grn]

NorbertDentressAngelOnTheTree · 07/12/2010 21:31

Any chance you could ring the venue, explain the situation and see if they can offer you storage space temporarily?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:31

bloody hell 60 presents !!!

That might just fill your car !

Take a blanket and cover the gifts in the car and no I would not consider at a venue were no stoarge was available that loading straight into a car to be odd.

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:31

Medium sized venue just no storage. Nowhere they'll allow presents to be left.

OP posts:
taintedsnow · 07/12/2010 21:32

Get one adult to be in charge of presents, give them a handful of rubbish bags (preferably ones that are a different colour to the ones containing actual rubbish), ask them to either mind the presents or put them somewhere. If this means driving them to a certain location, so be it. If the venue is close to someone's house, that would be perfect.

6-year-old DD? She will definitely notice no presents.

coatgate · 07/12/2010 21:32

should have - sorry Xmas Grin

NestaFiesta · 07/12/2010 21:32

YABU. Bit mean to cancel ypur DD's presents just because you haven't thought things through. Recruit a friend or a relative to take charge of the job. Nobody will mind someone's Aunty leaving the party to take the gifts somewhere like a car.

Anyway, my DS loves helping to choose presents for his friends and he would think they have been naughty if they are not allowed a gift.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:32

It's a gig or a pantomime

Am I right???

taintedsnow · 07/12/2010 21:32

Is it a cinema or something?

Dansmommy · 07/12/2010 21:34

Xmas Grin you have to tell us where it is!

I agree with eviltwins, get someone to walk back to the car with a couple of binbags. It's not that I think your email is rude, I just feel that a 6 year old should be allowed pressies on her birthday.

(BTW..60 kids? Are you stark raving mad? Xmas Grin)

LadyInaManger · 07/12/2010 21:35

If i was a guest reading that message i would presume you meant that they need not bring the present with them but rather drop it off at a later/earlier date.

Your DD would expect some presents and so an idea of clubbing together for some vouchers is a great idea (in fact a friends class did exactly that and got nearly £100)

You could say "due to the venue being so crowded (or whatever your reason is) i would prefer no presents but if you would like to then a book voucher (or equivalent) would be much appreciated.

How does that sound?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:35

How many adults have you got helping out with 60 6yr old

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:35

I can neither confirm nor deny on the venue.

But okay I accept I need to think this through as to what to do with the presents. Bugger!!!! Grin

OP posts:
evolucy7 · 07/12/2010 21:36

Frankly I think this is ridiculous, as a parent you organised the party, just sort something out to do with the presents. If there are 60 guests, someone must be able to help. Confused

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:37

Adults 1:4 ratio so 15 adults.

May I just say I didn't set out to have a party this size it evolved and grew and took on it's own heartbeat!!!

OP posts:
panettoinydog · 07/12/2010 21:38

60 guests. Jeez louise. You iz mad.

Can't gran or aunty take any presents back to their house?

Send the email if you want. Doesn't sound too bad to me.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 07/12/2010 21:38

Good luck < not that I think you'll need it >Grin

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:39

You could say "due to the venue being so crowded (or whatever your reason is) i would prefer no presents but if you would like to then a book voucher (or equivalent) would be much appreciated.

How does that sound?

(BTW sounds good to me Ladyinamanager) but what do others think?

OP posts:
Baileysismyfriend · 07/12/2010 21:40

Can't you just put the presents on a table in the room and then load them in the car afterwards? I think it would be a bit harsh not to let her recieve gifts for her Birthday so YABU.

Original poster
itsasmallworld · 07/12/2010 21:41

Unfortunately we are 45 minutes from the venue (btw guests aren't, which is why we chose this location!!!)

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