Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clothes as a present for children

180 replies

mamatomany · 07/12/2010 18:05

I've asked my mum to take back the clothes she has bought for my children for their only Christmas presents from her. She can't apparently has lost the receipts. Unlikely.
Bit of background, the grandparents on both sides rarely see the children.
MIL sees them the most, takes them shopping for clothes and puts money in their accounts for Christmas. Their Grandfathers do not buy them anything at all.
My mother sees them a couple of times a year and last time, took them all into Matalan and kitted them out, well to say it's not my taste is an understatement all thin leggings and tatty looking tshirts, sparkly things that fell apart after one wash, you get the picture.
So she's done it again for Christmas, all they have to open is clothes :(
I now feel under massive pressure to spend money I haven't really got making up for the fact that they as little children are getting what other kids would just assume appears in their wardrobes.
How many times does somebody need to be told to stop buying tat. I've half a mind to refuse to take it home from her house and let her keep it there for when they visit. How hard is it to buy toys, she is buying what she enjoys buying.

OP posts:
bigchris · 07/12/2010 20:14

How old are your dcs? If you've got anything for a 4 yr old girl I'm interested Grin

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/12/2010 20:14

Now I know this is a wind up.

'no one would want this stuff'

What bollocks. YOU dont like it. Loads of people love it.

This seems to be about your difficult relationship with your mother. You seem to despise her. Why is your business but maybe you need to sort it out because you are sounding a bit unhinged.

I can sympathise with dealing with a difficult mother but this seems like AIBU by stealth and I dislike threads that do that.

zukiecat · 07/12/2010 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tomhardyismydh · 07/12/2010 20:15

this is a wind up, I have just read again and its too ludicrous to be for real.

well done mama

ShittySnowyDays · 07/12/2010 20:15

ungrateful cow.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:15

Why don't you just cut her off? It's clear you have nothing but contempt for the woman.

It's true i have tried but she sneaks back in when you are vunerable like when I was in A&E, the last person I wanted to see was that woman but in she trotts, tells me if i lose the baby it's gods will and then fcuks off again.

It's about so much more than clothes but the fact that she just hasn't a clue what they would like and isn't interested in putting it right having been told we do not want the clothes is just typical.

OP posts:
GothAnneGeddes · 07/12/2010 20:16

Op - if I were you, I'd be asking for a nicer personality this xmas. YABU and just nasty. Like everyone else, I've been given clothes for dd which are not to my taste. They get worn around the giver or for playing in. End of story.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:17

They don't get shedloads, that's the point they will be looking forward to these presents and we can't really afford to make up for their disappointment.

OP posts:
ll31 · 07/12/2010 20:17

yabu, if you accept a gift from someone its a gift which they chose and to tell them you don't want it and its not to your taste etc is rude. If you've issues with her don't accept the presents in first place, if you accept the presents do so politely. Maybe just maybe she doesnt think they're "tat"...

ShanahansRevenge · 07/12/2010 20:18

Mrs NonSmoker...I asked that...twice! It bugged me....are they the only things OP? Or are you buying your DC som presents too?

Becase if you can't buy your DCs much...you're not alone...and I sort of understand you waning your Mum to get them toys...but otherwise.....well...enough people have told you.

bb99 · 07/12/2010 20:19

mama

sorry for your A&E experience, and it is more complex than just clothes for gifts.

A long shot, but have you though of some kind of talking therapy / counselling as I know things like this can just eat away at you!

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:21

ShanahansRevenge - I've answered twice, no they aren't getting big piles and yes I was hoping that some of what they are desperate for would come from her.
Thinking about it, she has bought what they've asked for before, we've obviously not been quick enough this year.

OP posts:
bb99 · 07/12/2010 20:22

BTW if things are financially tight, then lots of second hand shops / newspapers etc do do really good toys. Most of DC2's toys are second hand and we've got some great things like lego and wooden train sets, giant meccano playsets etc.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:22

Day to day it really doesn't enter my head bb99, I supposed Christmas just highlights it.

OP posts:
MrsNonSmoker · 07/12/2010 20:22

ShanahansRevenge - well, great minds think alike and it still looks like we're none the wiser! Wink

MumNWLondon · 07/12/2010 20:22

Sorry but I think you are being very unreasonable, precious and spoilt.

Your mum can buy what she wants. Ok its a shame if the clothes aren't suitable but its her choice.

If you are worried about the kids not being excited then buy a big tubes of smarties (£1) as an extra.

tomhardyismydh · 07/12/2010 20:25

mama didnt you do a thread a few months ago about mil prolapsed vag ruining your christmas plans or a christening?

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 07/12/2010 20:26

I actually don't think YAB that U. I don't know about the rest of you but we don't have loads of spare cash, so when it comes to family presents for children I usually ask the parents what they want for them. Why on earth waste good money buying stuff (and if you're anything like us, OP, you will be drowning under the weight of stuff) that isn't needed?? Surely a grandmother would much rather give her grandchildren something they really want? Or is she Making A Point?

pastyeater · 07/12/2010 20:26

Will the kids like the clothes? That's all that matters. My DD has got shoes from my Mum from Asda, but that's Ok because she loves shoes. If they don't then your Mum is out of order and YANBU.
However I do think you just have to grin and bear this. If only for the sake of the kids. Getting angry will only create a bad atmosphere and ruin Christmas for them.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:26

Oh yes I did, she was faking, it's all been "fixed" over night apparently, families eh, can't live with them, can't shot em.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:27

no pastyeater they won't like them, they will look at me like what's this and I will have to mouth say thank you, which of course they will but what a waste.

OP posts:
ShittySnowyDays · 07/12/2010 20:28

bollocks

ItalianLady · 07/12/2010 20:29

If they are disappointed because the presents are clothes then it is time you taught your children manners and gratitude.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 20:30

Not really italian, do you drop to your knees with gratitude what ever is bought for you, I don't think so.

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/12/2010 20:30

Its just not about the clothes is it?

So why start a thread that winds people up and makes you sound like a spoilt brat?

If its about the dreadful things your mother has done and said to you why not just say so?

Its like your setting yourself up for a flaming or you want a row with a load of strangers on the internet.

I dont get it.