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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clothes as a present for children

180 replies

mamatomany · 07/12/2010 18:05

I've asked my mum to take back the clothes she has bought for my children for their only Christmas presents from her. She can't apparently has lost the receipts. Unlikely.
Bit of background, the grandparents on both sides rarely see the children.
MIL sees them the most, takes them shopping for clothes and puts money in their accounts for Christmas. Their Grandfathers do not buy them anything at all.
My mother sees them a couple of times a year and last time, took them all into Matalan and kitted them out, well to say it's not my taste is an understatement all thin leggings and tatty looking tshirts, sparkly things that fell apart after one wash, you get the picture.
So she's done it again for Christmas, all they have to open is clothes :(
I now feel under massive pressure to spend money I haven't really got making up for the fact that they as little children are getting what other kids would just assume appears in their wardrobes.
How many times does somebody need to be told to stop buying tat. I've half a mind to refuse to take it home from her house and let her keep it there for when they visit. How hard is it to buy toys, she is buying what she enjoys buying.

OP posts:
SummerRain · 07/12/2010 19:33

my three (dd-5, ds1-4 and ds2-21mths) all adore getting clothes... some of their presents from us are clothes fgs!

you sound absolutely horrendous...

usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 19:36

Bloody hell ..the spirit of christmas is alive and well on MN tonight again

YABU

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:37

I've had the conversation Chocolate, I asked her to take them back as they have a wardrobe full of clothes that MIL and I have already bought and it was a waste of her money. She says she threw away the receipts.
It's just annoying, wasteful and a bit hurtful tbh when other peoples parents ask what the children want/need mine can't be arsed and just go off on some ego trip dressing up their DGC like little tartletts for their own amusement. No doubt DS has a Celtic kit Hmm again for her entertainment.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 07/12/2010 19:38

My parents ALWAYS buy our DC clothes and it's great, each year they get a whole new wardrobe, including a much needed winter coat, all in the next size up so they grow into it. It has been a god-send and we're very grateful. They usually buy them 1 or 2 small toys and most of the rest of the family/us get them toys.

Can't you "suggest" things they need?

I think YAB a bit U, at least their GP's are bothering to get them something.

hystericalmum · 07/12/2010 19:39

YABVU.

It's clothes.

You'd soon be on here complaining if the GP's hadn't bought the children anything.

And with your attitude maybe they won't bother next year.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:40

I'm guessing it's stuff you like though LISAD, imagine your mother is Bet Lynch and wants your 6 year old to look just like her, still keen ?

OP posts:
Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:40

You'd soon be on here complaining if the GP's hadn't bought the children anything.

Well to be fair the others haven't so it's going well our Christmas isn't it ?

OP posts:
classydiva · 07/12/2010 19:42

I totally disagree with chlidren having clothes, it is their right to be clothed, clothes arent presents for children at all and I think it is real mean to buy clothes as presents.

Unless the child is 15 or over it is just wrong.

StayFrosty · 07/12/2010 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/12/2010 19:43

I am honestly flabberghasted by this thread.

  1. They are your children. If you want them to have loads of toys at Christmas you buy them. Why are you relying on your mother?
2.Nothing wrong with Matalan. Plenty of people would love to be able to shop there. Its buy no means the cheapest or crappiest shop around.
  1. You cannot dictate what others buy your children unless you object on safety or moral grounds (porper morals - not just I dont like tat)
  2. You will project your attitude onto your children who probably love getting something a bit sparkly from Nanny. They think its great, you tell them its not and infer its because Nanny doesnt like them much - nice
  3. Just get over yourself. Count your bloody blessings. Christmas is a horrible time for lots of people for real reasons.
taintedsnow · 07/12/2010 19:44

Hasn't it occured to you, mama, that since virtually everyone has told you in no uncertain terms that YABU, that you might be unreasonable? Confused

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:45

Frankie from the saturdays is her style icon

Unless your child is a teenager I'm sorry but I find that shocking that she a0 knows who Frankie from the Saturdays is b) you'd consider her an appropriate style icon, I like mine to look like children not slappers.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:48

I am not relying my mother I am feeling under pressure to make up for her inadequacies in the present buying department, am a bit embarrassed too tbh this offering will be opened in front of her family who I doubt will think "how lovely" and hopefully won't think is that what mama dresses her children in, did she ask for that ?

OP posts:
zukiecat · 07/12/2010 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatepuff · 07/12/2010 19:50

it sounds as though your mum has developed that thick skin and deaf ears as happens when you reach a certain age!
well i'd say just laugh it off, accept that its just her and try not to let it bother you. it is a shame that she is so detached from you and your dc's that she has no idea or care for your taste, but, dont get hung up about it, its not worth the aggro it causes.

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:51

Can't tempt you with the tat then Zukiecat ? Really, not at all ?
I hope she reads it and finds the receipts Grin

OP posts:
PlentyOfParsnips · 07/12/2010 19:51

BTW does your mother know you think she dresses like a slapper? You really should tell her Xmas Wink

pranma · 07/12/2010 19:53

Matalan pjs wash really well and some of the hats/mitts etc are lovely.I have bought pjsx6 for dgc for Christmas eve and no one has complained yet.One year I bought White company pjs and kids werent keen so this year it was back to matalan and a third the cost.As for sequins and sparkles you get those at Monsoon too!

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:54

Do you know i have told she looks ridiculous and she does but her boyfriend likes it, it is mortifying.
My FIL is the local vicar FFS and my mother is like marlene without the class, it is embarrassing.

OP posts:
twopeople · 07/12/2010 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mamatomany · 07/12/2010 19:56

Pranma, it really isn't a case of cut the label out and i'd be happy, I wouldn't buy this stuff from anywhere at any price, if it was D&G they still wouldn't be wearing it, it's the style not the price tag.

OP posts:
zukiecat · 07/12/2010 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Besom · 07/12/2010 19:56

There were really gross toddler shoes with heals on at Monsoon this year.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/12/2010 19:57

THis is YOUR problem stop projecting onto your 'poor embarrassed' kids.

Its very telling that your mum keeps telling you she has thrown away or lost the reciepts. Yeah right. She is distracting you, they way you would a spoilt toddler.

You children are NOT going to suffer.

Didnt we all get some horrible item of clothing as a child? What about hand knitted polo necks and brown nylon a line smocks with yellow rick rack edged flares?

We smiled and sucked it up because we were bought up to be greatful for what we got.

usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 19:58

I think your mother is probably more embarrassed about having a daughter like you tbh

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