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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have called my neighbour a f%^king c&*t?

104 replies

domesticdiva · 03/12/2010 21:41

I will set the scene first! Grin

Just spent 6 days stuck at home due to the snow with 2 DSs one 21 months and other 8 weeks, so even walks around the village were out of order as couldn't push a buggy through 2 foot of snow.

So managed to find the car eventually under a snow drift, spent an hour digging it out then loading up the DSs for a wonderous trip to Asda. Asda a nightmare as usual (usually do online but they cancelled the delivery) and DS1 in a strop throughout the trip.

I get back home only to get stuck at the top of our street in an ice/snow hole thing. Spent an hour digging/crying/praying the car would move until I admitted defeat and started knocking on a couple of doors to ask for help. Neighbout in question opens the door an inch, glares at me and when I asked would she or anyone else in her household possibly help me as I am stuck and had two little ones in the car, she snapped "no, there's only me" and slammed the door in my face. I therefore ask MNers whether me (not shouting) saying fucking cunt to her door is not unreasonable.

I would like to state after another very nice couple of neighbours who came to my rescue pointed out that in cunty neighbour hadn't of parked her van as she has done then no-one would need to slow and hence get stuck as I did, so she is already a knob for creating the situation in the first place.

Thank you rant over!! Grin

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 03/12/2010 21:43

So did she hear you calling her a fucking cunt?

SoupDragon · 03/12/2010 21:43

YABU actually.

panettoinydog · 03/12/2010 21:44

yes you were bu to call her a fucking cunt

frgr · 03/12/2010 21:44

you think your neighbour is cunty because you asked her a favour and she chose not to grant that favor? she might have been busy for all you know. it's not for you to swear and call her a cunt because she wouldn't come out and help. it would have been massively nice if she had, and i probably would help or at least apologise and explain i'm looking after DCs of my own/etc... but i wouldn't call someone a cunt for not agreeing to help me out....

Ewe · 03/12/2010 21:45

I would have probably muttered fucking cunt under my breath too, I think whether YABU or YANBU depends on whether it was audible. You can think/mutter what you like!

Imarriedafrog · 03/12/2010 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
domesticdiva · 03/12/2010 21:48

so you would have been rude and slammed the door in someones face who had obviously been crying and could hear children crying in their vehicle when they were only asking for help would you? thats nice!

i was not calling her a cunt because she wouldn't help me I was calling her a cunt as she'd been so rude, slammed the door in my face and not even a sorry I can't help in sight!

and no she did not hear me as I was walking down her path in another flood of tears by that point!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 03/12/2010 21:50

Unless I know who it is at the door, (and sometimes especially when I do) I don't answer it.

Was it dark? Did she know you?

YABU for calling her a fucking cunt.

YANBU for taking out your days frustration on a closed door.

PeachesandStrawberry · 03/12/2010 21:50

YANBU

She shouldn't have been so rude.

VivaLeBeaver · 03/12/2010 21:50

I don't think she was a cunt for not helping, like others have pointed out there could have been reasons why she felt unable to help. In the circumstances I can kind of see why you might think it though. However if you said it loud enough for there to be a possibility of her hearing it then YABVU.

frgr · 03/12/2010 21:51

No, domesticdiva. I've already pointed out that I'd have been polite and apologised for not being able to help, say if I had DCs here or (like today was so bunged up with cold that i haven't been out of bed much). just because you have had a shit day and your children are crying doesn't make her obligated to help, as much as it pains me to say it because i've been there myself! :) but you still asked a FAVOUR which she is entitled to yay or nay.

But you are being reasonable to expect her to be polite - however,.. one person's glare is another person's polite smile, it's totally subjective. she wasn't exactly rude, just less nice than you'd expected ("sorry i can't help you, etc")

charmum3 · 03/12/2010 21:52

hey ho you were stressed, you were a bit u, but who wouldn't help someone in this situation, she was more u than you, and i would have dun the same Wink are you all sorted now? online companies are unreasonable, one bludy snowflake and they can't deliever

LadyGolden · 03/12/2010 21:55

She was being a fuking cnt. Well done!! Grin

Original poster
domesticdiva · 03/12/2010 21:55

agent zigzag - Grin to answer your questions: no it was not dark, yes she does know me, we used to say hello to each other when passing in the street and she came up to me post-snow the other week to coo at my new DS2. There is a window next to her door which she looked through before opening her door so she knew it was me.

I think I disturbing her Jeza Kyle viewing hence the frosty reception (excuse the pun!) Xmas Grin I am not in the habit of swearing so surprised even myself!

OP posts:
HerculesPoiroastinOnAnOpenFire · 03/12/2010 21:55

YANBU. That is exactly what I would have done, except probably shouted it at her door. Glad you're home now and some nice people came to your rescue.

BluTac · 03/12/2010 21:59

I would have said the same. Obviously there are a lot of people on this thread with a lot more self control than I have.

GotArt · 03/12/2010 22:03

I would've knocked on again and said it to her face, but then I am a bit reactionary. Maybe she is being cunty because someone already called her one for creating the situation. Xmas Grin Glad you got someone to help though. We were snowed in two weeks ago on the west coast of Canada and we live on a very large hill and everyone drives stupid big ass trucks and couldn't get them up. I did though, with my Toyota Corolla; it thinks its a 4x4 with chains on its tires. lol

Doha · 03/12/2010 22:06

YANBU hope she has to ask you for a favour one day..

Cumbrian07 · 03/12/2010 22:08

YABU YABU YABU YABU....This thread is quite depressing It seems to represent all that is wrong with society today. I'm so pleased you're not my neighbour. Rough as old boots!

AgentZigzag · 03/12/2010 22:12

The OP didn't actually say it to the womans face though cumbrian.

Cumbrian07 · 03/12/2010 22:14

Does that make a difference then agent?

HerBeatitude · 03/12/2010 22:19

Of course it makes a difference.

She does sound a little cunty, tbh. Grin

If you'd yelled it you would have been unreasonable.

But unless you have some huge objection to the word cunt, of course it's not unreasonable to mutter it under your breath when no-one can hear anyway.

AgentZigzag · 03/12/2010 22:20

Yeah, course cumbrian.

The OP had a shitty, shitty day, and the neighbour being rude was the straw breaking the camels back.

Like she said, she wasn't pissed off the woman wouldn't help, it was the curtness from a person she says hello to in the street (which I'm not convinced she knew it was you OP, sometimes you don't recognise people out of the context you usually see them in).

There's worse things wrong with society today than a woman in tears calling someone a fucking cunt under their breath.

Guitargirl · 03/12/2010 22:24

I am with Cumbrian. You have absolutely no idea what was going on in your neighbour's house: maybe she was on the phone, maybe she had had some bad news. YABVU.

GotArt · 03/12/2010 22:24

The woman could have been polite and said, no dear, I am unable to help you and there is no one else here either. But no, she was mean and curt and slammed the door in OP's face. That constitutes and under the breath cunt remark.