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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to dress their children as warmly as themselves

99 replies

scruffybird · 02/12/2010 12:49

I am fed up of seeing children in this freezing weather without gloves, hat and scavres and then you look at the parent in their warm hat and gloves etc.
It's boardering on child neglect.

OP posts:
tinierclanger · 02/12/2010 12:51

I put a hat on DS. He takes it off. I cannot physically get gloves on him. What do you suggest?

My assumption is, if he's really cold, he will accept the hat. I don't think he will actually come to any harm as a result of being cold. He'll either give in and put the hat on, or want to go home.

SoupDragon · 02/12/2010 12:53

Oh FFS.

Perhaps it's because the parents don't remove all the hats etc and throw them on the floor.

Lizcat · 02/12/2010 12:53

Like tinierclanger hat on thrown off, glove on thrown off. Claims gloves and hat hurt fingers and head both are ample size. DH never wears any of these things either - sighs alot.

SoupDragon · 02/12/2010 12:54

personally, i like to send my children out into the 2 feet of snow wearing nothing but swim things and a smile. It's character building.

nellieisstilltired · 02/12/2010 12:54

would it be neglect to superglue hats and mittens on to child?

FanjoForTheMincePies · 02/12/2010 12:54

my DD hardly feels the cold, i sleep under two duvets and she doesn't even want one. she won't keep hat or gloves on either!

DooinMeCleanin · 02/12/2010 12:54

Didn't we have this thread yesterday? It coz we are British innit? Move to Germany if it bothers you that much. Their toddlers keep their clothes on, apparently.

DooinMeCleanin · 02/12/2010 12:56

LizCat dd2 also says that about gloves. And she claims her loosly tied scarf chokes her. She likes her hat though.

Squitten · 02/12/2010 12:57

YABU - I don't think anyone voluntarily wants their kids to go out with no warm clothes on but sometimes the children won't cooperate!

Thankfully, this year DS seems to have embraced the idea of warm clothes so we're alright but last winter and summer, DS absolutely refused to wear hats or hoods and threw away his gloves. Short of stapling it to him, what would you have suggested?

prettyfly1 · 02/12/2010 12:57

(pretty heaves a sigh of frustration) Hat off constantly. REFUSES to wear socks, hates coat, HOWLS at gloves. I fight the socks and coat but seriously after the twentieth attempt to put hat back on and now running seriously late to get to school, work, anywhere, ever I give up. Do you actually HAVE children? Or were yours that rare breed of perfect child that never inconvenienced you with such irritating behaviour?

prettyfly1 · 02/12/2010 12:58

ps. Sending them outside in swimwear. LOL.

Original poster
scruffybird · 02/12/2010 12:59

Not always the case. The children I'm refering to are not toddlers and when I asked where their gloves were they said they did not have any.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/12/2010 13:01

DD is one of those children to whom you refer. She does have the full snow gear (right down to skiing gloves and salopettes). She wears them to school in the morning but yesterday, she came out in her vest with the rest of her clothes in her schoolbag.

DooinMeCleanin · 02/12/2010 13:02

Perhaps they have lost the third set of the yea and the parents are refusing to buy more until they at least attempt to find some of the old ones

prettyfly1 · 02/12/2010 13:02

My five year old frequently tells people he can fly. If you had asked him yesterday he would have told you he didnt have gloves either - its because he has lost five pairs already this year. There are of course irresponsible people who send their children out poorly dressed but the fact is if the kids have coats, clean clothes, etc chances are they have either lost them or refused to wear em. If the children in question are persistently dirty, undernourished or innappropriately attired, then you have a point. Failing that YA still BU.

NonnoMum · 02/12/2010 13:03

Ah, Scruffy I was wondering when someone would find me out...

DD (2.6) refuses to wear anything other than shorts at the moment. She refuses to wear tights under them, but I have managed to source a pair of long socks.

She won't wear a coat, but will wear her hat. She occasionally wears her gloves. She likes to hold my hand when I'm wearing gloves.

Sometimes she will wear a cardigan over her T shirt. If we're very very lucky, she will wear a coat.

I bow to your better parenting, and if you want to come round and reason with her, feel free... Confused

Aloneinthehouse · 02/12/2010 13:03

In some cases YANBU where it is the parents neglect

However, as the mother of a hot boy who i pratically have to pin down and threaten to get a coat on (even today with the snow falling heavily and temperature at -4) who repeatedly just takes stuff off and throws it away its not that easy in all cases and I will not have that battle of wills if he is cold he will accept the offer of a coat/gloves/hat/scarf I do however, always carry the aforementioned round with me giving the appearence of a pack mule

Original poster
scruffybird · 02/12/2010 13:03

Ok on my own with this one obviously.
What would you do if they refused to wear a coat?

OP posts:
sarah293 · 02/12/2010 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 02/12/2010 13:05

8y DD has vests, jumpers, coats, gloves, boots, waterproof trousers, hats, scarves - you name it. Whethe she wears it all is another matter at times. However, my DD takes after my dad and doesn't feel the cold as quickly or in the same way as I do - she is wrapping up at the moment, but gets warm quickly and will shed her hat, etc for a while. Before the snow she wasn't wrapping up as much as she was too hot.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/12/2010 13:06

Sellotape could be the answer Riven, have you considered that? or drawing pins.......

WoTmania · 02/12/2010 13:07

YABU - I make them take coats 'just in case' but often end up carrying them too as my little treasures are hot bods.

MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 02/12/2010 13:07

Scruffy, what do you think should be done when a child won't wear a coat or hat?

CandlestickMaker · 02/12/2010 13:07

DS would still sweat if I sent him out in just a vest.

"Not always the case. The children I'm refering to are not toddlers and when I asked where their gloves were they said they did not have any."

My DS is 4yo and has gone through 3 pairs of gloves in just over a week, so now he doesn't have any.

SantasMooningArse · 02/12/2010 13:09

YANBU but it depends on the child and age- ds4 has more hats than you can imagine but screams and bites us if we put one on him, then tears it off (we did buy him a polar fleece suit to help make up for it- he's 3 in April).

DS1 otoh is sent with hats / gloves etc and disposes not only of them but his jumper ASAP as he doesn;t feel temperatures properly (ASD) and hates to wear them. but as he is 11 tomorrow I feel all I can do now is provide them and remind them why he must wear them each day.

I can;t physically stand gloves either: or hats. So never bother, and i spend a lot of time outdoors in winter.

So if aprent trying but to no avail- YABU. if they provide a flimsy summer jacket and sandals though and don;t care YANBU.