To expect parents to dress their children as warmly as themselves

[scruffybird]

I am fed up of seeing children in this freezing weather without gloves, hat and scavres and then you look at the parent in their warm hat and gloves etc.
It's boardering on child neglect.

The terrible twos is a rite of passage for all mothers who will one day have to deal with teenagers

No but they continue screaming and tantrumming daily over the same battle even though they know they will not win. For months at a time, as is the case with dd2 and getting up of a morning. She has to be locked in the dining room with a heavy box in front of the door, to prevent her from going back to bed and screams until she gets to nursery.

She is not your regular toddler.

You're probably right two people. It was a bit glib - it's just that ryoko on another thread has made my blood rise and fingers twitch.

twopeople,it makes perfect sense that you want to take a different approach to these things from your parents,if you feel that their approach didn't work as well as it should have.

I think I come from the opposite side in that when I was growing up we went to bed early regardless,ate what was put in front of us - I didn't choose my own clothes till I was a teenager.(I don't think my parents were particularly controlling,that was just how things were - good grief,in spite of how that sounds I'm not 90,honestly )
So I wanted my children to learn at an earlier age to make some of these choices for themselves,so they don't eat food just because it is there,and they can decide for themselves how they want to look,how hot or cold they are etc.
That doesn't mean I let them do exactly what they want all the time though,it's a question of balance! (They are 16 and 10 and so far it seems to have worked ok...)

And now I'm off because DS has just appeared next to me and said " Don't you think you've been on there long enough,Mummy?"
He is quite right!

walesblackbird, mine too - and I get bloomin frustrated with people who assume it is laziness on my part when things go missing, or arent quite right, or that I should "punish" him.

no - not the same disagreement but even though they don't get their way - they'll still try again the next day, the next week - some kids are like that - especially once they start approaching 10 (actually DS1 started about 8yrs old).

I suppose though we are approaching it from the same way. Except I say - if you want to go out without your gloves on - fine - but if you feel really cold - don't come complaining to me. So the result I suppose is still the same as if your DD forgets her gloves and you don't go back. (or not as the case may be - perhaps tonight they'll all make a proper effort to search for their gloves ).

I learnt to put gloves on when it was cold by getting cold hands when I didn't wear them. As I said my brother doesn't wrap up anything like as much as I do as he doesn't feel the cold so much. my DS2 is like him, he just doesn't seem to feel cold - the only complaints I get from him are "I'm too hot".

Same as I finally learned that I couldn't drink coffee straight out of the kettle without it cooling down by finding it was too hot when I tried to drink it the second I'd poured it (I still find it astonishing that DS1 can make his herbal tea and have finished it in less than 2 minutes - and it's not even got milk in it to cool it down even a fraction ).

I have a 10 year old who has only recently started to wear a hat.
However, I ahve 2 mindees, both under 5. I have actually gone out and bought them hats, gloves, scarf and wellies. Ther mum drops them of every day dressed on furry boots, coat hat gloves scarf etc. Her 2 boys are wearing coats. usually with just a t-shirt underneath!
So yes there are a lot of children out there who won't wear them, but in my mindees case it's a case of the mum won't dress them appropriately

I have Riven and I know exactly what you mean. My mindees though it's jsut a case of pure selfishness on the part of their mum.

I stood with my DD at her bus stop this morning. Me in lined trousers, warm coat, gloves; she in knee socks and skirt, thin rain jacket, no gloves.

She had of course left her thick coat and gloves at school, and refused to wear her ski jacket; decided to wear socks rather than tights because easier to change into her costume for drama. She knew what the temperature was. She also knows there is a real possibility of the bus breaking down and being stood in the cold for ages.

DS is currently outside playing in the garden in trousers, wellies, 2 very thin shirts and one glove. He's grinning from ear to ear while throwing snowballs about madly. Clearly he's very unhappy and neglected

Chilblains

www.patient.co.uk/health/Chilblains.htm

twopeople - I wouldn't make that assumption, and think that it's important that people do point out exceptions, so Riven's comments are very welcome on this thread.

YABU

My DD has been wandering around the house half undressed the past few days, heating off, while I've been in layers and layers. She just doesn't get that cold.

She chooses what to wear out, and if I think she'll get cold I take extra stuff in the bag. I never force her to wear additional things, though I sometimes recommend it, she always asks for something if she feels she's getting cold.

It works for us fine.

My DS aged 10 walked to meet me at my place of work to day CARRYING his thick coat,hat,scarf and gloves!! He was like a walking icicle but couldn't seem to really explain why he hadn't put them on!!!

This is about par for the course. Despite his age he will happily wander out of the house wearing just a thin top yet bizarrely is super glued to the radiator when we're in the house.

Scruffybird YABU - Parents should dress their children warmer than themselves - they are far more important than us!!

What about when it's the other way around? i saw a woman today in mini skirt, bare legs, Ugg boots and a tiny zip-up hoodie that kept riding up and revealing her (very lovely, but completely bare) tummy. Her two kids were arctic expedition-ready.

My DS1 is the sort of child who no matter how hard you fought the battle or had the argument it just didn't work. We would battle over the same things day in and day out it was exhausting. However if he learns something for himself it generally stuck in his mind. I have learnt over the years to take a step back and it has saved me hours of angst and I feel he learns to make sensible choices because sometimes despite my advice he makes "bad" choices and comes unstuck. (He is 13 BTW) E.G last week I argued every morning with him that he wasn't wrapped up enough, "you'll catch your death", etc, etc. On Friday he got caught in the snow and arrived home like an icicle. Fast forward to Monday he left the house in about 6 layers and has done so ever since. Some kids won't be "told" and you can drive yourself mad fighting every battle. OR you can accept that they have to make some decisions themselves (and these are bigger and bigger decisions as they get older) and they learn to accept the consequences of their choices (both good and bad)