DS wants to be a princess

[MrsKitty]

Nursery are having a 'superheros & princesses' themed dressing up day next week for charity.

DS (3.10) wants to be a princess. AIBU to agree that he can be? .

I think it's rather sweet personally. DH not convinced.

chip!! warn you child that they may be picked on and let them make that choice!!

It isn't quite as simple as "let your child wear what they want", but nor should it necessarily be "you can't wear that in case you get bullied".

Here's some examples:

1. Bicycle helmets. Children can and do get teased for wearing them. I certainly did. Nevertheless, being made fun of is far better than a head injury. Far cheaper for the NHS, too.

My children will wear them.

2. A young child wanting to go out into the snow in their pyjamas. They'll freeze. And local shoppers will start an MN thread about whether it would be unreasonable to report me to Social Services for neglect.

3. Your young daughter desperately wanting a particular pair of (godawful) shoes that everyone else has. They don't do her size, so she's claiming that she fits into the largest size they do have. You're certain that your daughter will keep forcing her feet into the shoes to the point of permanent damage, so it's not a case of letting her just see sense in a couple of days.

See where I'm going with this?

wishit I am under no illusion that the "shit that ensues is like water off a ducks back", but there should be no shit at all. And the only way to get to that point is to challenge the bigotry.

Do you think we should give up on at least trying to improve things?

chipmonkey No, children shouldn't be in the firing line. But they should have the choice. If I had a son who wanted to wear dresses I would allow him to, and protect him where possible.

ah, let the boy wear what he wants! - I doubt many of the other kids at nursery will give a shit what he's wearing, and who cares what the other parents think?

TiggyD You're right- that was a rather catch-all post I made there, and I didn't allow for the gender dysphoria, at all.

I didn't mean to belittle trans individuals. Sorry.

Big Hug!

Spikey I'm here .

Sorry for posting & running - I had to get DS & DD to bed, then get ready for work. Now at work and very busy so will check back in after midnight, assuming things quieten down a bit.

Was quite stunned by the number of posts since I last checked in TBH - will have to catch up later!

I went to Tesco on my way in to work and bought DS a 'princess' dress, as well as some Buzz Lightyear PJs that would work as a superhero outfit, so he's sorted, and can choose either, neither or both .

I will post on the whole gender stereotyping / bullying etc stuff that's kicked off later tonight once I've got more time

hi OP just posting this link again as it is very positive and affirming about your and your ds's choices!

Spikey. If my DS wanted to parade down the street dressed as Dolly fucking Parton, replete with stilettoes and bouffant wig, I'd let him. Why? Because I'm not a small minded dimwit who gives a fuck what small-minded middle Englanders like you think. I'd prefer my child was happy than keeping the neighbours happy.

FFS.

Yeah sure. Small minded my arse. You are rude on every single thread,just for the sake of it. Didn't you say all veggies are idiots the other day? Is everyone an idiot apart from you? Weren't you on another thread saying you hate bullying etc? Very disingenious

Your child won't be happy. HTH

Does this mean Apprentice is finished spikey?

There is one thing for certain: if we cannot allow our sons and daughters to deviate from gender lines at three for fear of the (I would think) minimal negative reactions from others, then things will NEVER change.

If your little boy enjoys playing as a princess now, and you and the nursery don't allow anyone to be horrid to him, then he should grow up to be a man who doesn't worry about his son playing as a princess. (Unlike many current mumsnetters' husbands!) Thus, we get slow social change.

That said, if my son, aged ten, wants to march down the high street in a tutu, I may well be utterly terrified.

I didn't call you an idiot. I called you small-minded. Which is an accurate observation, not bullying. I think that you provoke rudeness, telling people what they would and would not do with regards to their own children. I find it insulting that you think that deep down, we're all as Daily Mail as you are.

I don't remember being on any such thread either, Spikeycow.

Oh boo-hoo Spikeycow doesn't like me. I'd be offended if you did actually. You're awful.

chipmonkey I think storm's earlier post made it fairly clear that children are in the firing line one way or another in a situation like this, either from other people or from a strangled sense of self. Our job is to help them negotiate that firing line as best we can and according to our beliefs.

mrsruffalo what children wear, until they are old enough to buy their own clothes and go out without their parents, always says more about the parents' agenda than their own.

FWIW I used to teach in central London and the concerns about children were remarkably similar to those across other areas of the country. People weren't markedly more busy there and nor were they markedly more open minded.

MrsKitty a sensible decision and I wait to hear more.

@ melezka. Thank you.

Dimwit, idiot, same thing.
We don't get on Cupcakes. And you did say Veggies were idiots. Remember "cunting by name cunting by nature?" That was just one response to you. Very rude. History is repeating here big time eh ShirleyKnot

Not awful at all. Not an outright bitch like you. You have been vile on 3 threads in as many days.

Now CAT me

Seriously.... Is this a joke?

No whens it isn't. Is it really that shocking a question to you?

What's funny? Some MN bully has come onto a thread and named me when I left hours ago just to have a pop. Not funny at all.
Not that she's bullying me. Just the general tone of her posts across the boards