DS wants to be a princess

[MrsKitty]

Nursery are having a 'superheros & princesses' themed dressing up day next week for charity.

DS (3.10) wants to be a princess. AIBU to agree that he can be? .

I think it's rather sweet personally. DH not convinced.

Chew on a brick, fuckstick.

Xxx

I dont understand how either side of this debate can be so entrenched in their own world view.

My son is an odd-ball. Bloody brilliant, but decidedly odd

I encourage him to be exactly who he is and to have the confidence and self-belief to deal with any piss-taking he mighgt come across.

If he wanted to wear a tutu or a princess dress in the street, I'd want to talk to him about what that may invite, how he would deal with it and whether that was worth it.

In the area I live now I reckon he'd get by with a bit of ribbing.

If he were to do it in the town I grew up in he'd get beaten up. Without a shdow of a doubt.

It's not black and white and if you live somewhere where self expression is more acceptable (publicly) then that's great but please dont look down your nose at others who are very much aware that their own area is not so accepting. Life isn't equal, dont pretend it is, just be grateful that a lad expressing his feminie side in your area wouldn't get his head kicked in.

That's it all the normal people can creep back onto the thread now Us cunts have worn ourselves out

Fuck you xxxx

Enjoy a good ruck [fsmile)

Re your son OP - I think it's lovely, I also think he may be teased. I hope not but he might be. I don't think
anyone's saying 'oh noes he's a gay' just concerned he'll be bullies or upset. But it sounds like it's a nice nursery so he prob won't. The end

Err too much Pinot then

Blimey - what the hell happened to this thread? . I ask a simple question, go off to work for a few hours and I come back to a bizarre row about Vegetarians .

Anyway...

He now owns a Princess dress, having bought one on my way to work. When I think back to asking him this evening whether he wants to be a princess or a superhero and I remember the look of sheer joy on his face at the thought of actually getting a princess dress I think "who gives a flying fuck what anyone else thinks?" The only concern I've ever had about it is the idea that he might be made to feel embarrassed or that he's 'wrong', but I'm just going to hope that this doesn't come up at nursery (or anywhere else) for a least a few years yet.

Frgr, thanks for that link - enjoyed reading it.

AlphaSchmalpha I couldn't access the story you linked to, but will try again later (might even shell out the £1 for the 1 months subscription .

Melezka - good post. I hope your DS finds his place again in your new area. (and FWIW, I think Corpse Bride sounds like an inspired halloween choice )

And, actually, a point I should have posted when I started the thread, but was in a bit of a rush, has been made by SausageRollModel. I agree - a bloody ridiculous choice of theme for a nursery dress up day. For one thing, I doubt if DS even knows what a superhero is - He's certainly not had any experience of spiderman/superman/batman etc as far as I know - the films are all way too old for a 3/4 yo IMO...He's still into Night Garden and Charlie & Lola FGS! But yes, I think the theme totally encourages gender stereo-typing, and an expectation that the girls will be princesses and the boys 'heros'. This is, however, the same nursery that sent an email round to parents a few weeks ago to, essentially, ask if it would be OK if they recruited a male Nursery Nurse. .

DS will have a ball, I'm sure, and it'll no doubt become the best loved item in his dress-up bag for a while .

And, by the way, I'm still at work, work is shit, I'm still stupidly busy at 4am, but I'm on a break .

This thread now officially beats the cricket thread as "best fight thread of the week" .

I think Limez sums it up best when she says

"In the area I live now I reckon he'd get by with a bit of ribbing.

If he were to do it in the town I grew up in he'd get beaten up. Without a shdow of a doubt"

Therefore, when we say "is it okay to wear a tutu/ princess outfit" I imagine we all think it is in purely neutral terms in that there's nothing inherantly wrong with it. However, what we're really arguing over is "would dressing in a tutu invite consequences for my son that would outweigh the benefits of learning that it's okay to wear what you want."

.........and that depends almost entirely on the attitudes of your immediate community.

I like spikeycow

I like cupcakes

But which do I like more?

....

but as I'm here for 30 seconds - can I just say how much I love SC ( kiss kiss kiss ) --> where have you been all my life? I've never seen you before

I'm not fighting her. She'll probably have a pitbull on a lead and some neds swigging Special Brew as back-up. Other than that, I'd kick her butt into next week.

Now. Anyone else up for a scrap? Get yer dukes up etc etc.

MysticFlame- I think your willful misunderstanding of my posts says more about your IQ than mine dear

I'm sorry but no matter how young these kids are he will get picked on. And it will be remembered forever. We watched the snowman one Christmas at infants school and I cried at the end when The snowman melted. I was still getting the piss taken out of me all the way through junior school and if I ever see anyone from my old primary they still remember it to this day. I dressed my little brother up in my ballet tutu and he seemed to quite like it. As a family we still laugh about it now - but at least we didn't send him to school like it! x

Wow. Sorry for not reading back on this thread before. Just seen how cupcakes and spikey have actually sort of found a mutual respect for one another - perhap leaders of warring nations should have it out in a no-holds-barred bunfight on MN, and the world would be a much better place

I think (and Spikey will probably try and CAT me you cunt again for saying so) that Spikey and I are a bit too similar in some respects. Both hot-heads and convinced we're right but quite reasonable when the red mist has worn off

I've seen you today being all supportive and reasonable

OP go for it YANBU but be good idea to have a back up just incase he changes his mind and wants to be Batman or whatever. Could you make him a costume thats a cross between the 2? if he wanted too obviously.

I actually see spikeycow's point. a 10 year old would get the pissed ripped out of him if he went out in a tutu. Doesn't mean he shouldn't wear one, but the end result wouldn't be pretty after the inevitable pasting he'd get.

I'm supportive and reasonable lots, you just don't remember it because your brain is too full of dogs and fights.

Have you been following me around anyway? This is how it started with Shirley. We used to fight apparently then she followed me round a bit, saw how great I was, now we're bezzies. Well that's what she thinks. She's fucking mental, that one ...

OK, I have only read the OP and this is 11 pages long, but I'd say let him be a princess if he wants. By the time he gets to school he won't be able to get away with it so easily.

When DS was this age we were doing this home school/small school thing and somebody from TES did an article on us. When the photographer turned up, DS went and dressed himself in a tutu and huge elton john style glasses and insisted on having his pic taken on a space-hopper, brandishing a plastic machine gun. He seemed to have some sort of instinctive knowlegde of what would make a good picture

He's 15 now and thoroughly heterosexual (not that it would bother me if he was gay) and he loves this pic of him as a showbiz 3YO.

Boy's clothes are pretty dull on the whole - let him dress up while he's little enough to get away with it.

Thanks Plenty .

Saffy, that's what we're going for-he's going to have his buzz outfit PJs on under his brand new sparkly princess dress.

Spikey & Bunting ,glad you two have got all that out of your system . Fucking bizarre, the pair of you .

Glittery And? To me that just proves that you can't always protect kids from standing out. And IMO it might be better to at least give them a choice about what it is that gets others attention. I was bullied for being short, I couldn't change this - which meant I was very self conscious. If it could have been something I chose to do that they picked on, then at least I could either have decided to carry on regardless or I could have given it up.

.