Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am so angry!

523 replies

KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:36

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry Angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying Sad

OP posts:
peeringintothevoid · 04/12/2010 12:01

Dear god, money surely talks, doesn't it! Shock Hmm

Do you really want your DD at this school any more??

nbee84 · 04/12/2010 12:01

Smile so glad the pantomime is sorted and the children are happy. But, so Sad that all this happened in the first place and all the stress it put you under and the fact that you are now having to sort out alternative schooling - I really hope that goes well and you find a fantastic school that has the children at its heart.

IsItMeOr · 04/12/2010 12:16

Wow, that mother...

At least you know that cinders2 seems to be happy about it.

Hope the performances go well Xmas Smile. And good luck finding a new school.

clam · 04/12/2010 12:18

Am gobsmacked.
Thought people like this only existed in fiction.
I'd get your children out of that school pronto.

Jajas · 04/12/2010 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 04/12/2010 12:22

The mother sounds like a total loon! Well done to her dd, though, for sounding sensible and reasonable - and I hope they both have a great time in the panto!

AnyoneforTurps · 04/12/2010 13:06

Good grief, what a ghastly woman. I feel sorry for the nice teachers (like the music teacher) who have to deal with parents with that sense of entitlement.

How nice of cinders 2 to say that to your DD though. Maybe there is hope that she won't take after her mother?

Animation · 04/12/2010 13:42

OMG - just caught this morning's installment from you Kate. It's like Jackanory!!

BOO HISS to that 'mother dearest' mum and the two ugly teachers - but BIG CHEER to the music teacher AND kind Cinders2.Xmas Grin

RunawayChristmasTree · 04/12/2010 13:57

KE I think the school is run by morons and full of idiot parents.
Sounds like cinders 2 could do with having a mother like you, not the nutjob she is landed with

mumbar · 04/12/2010 13:58

Bless cinders 2. Sounds like she's going to the ball she wants to too.
Why oh why do parents insist on trying to make their DC top dog? I'm sure her DD just wants to be a 7yo as much as yours and enjoy the panto.

You've done brilliantly Kate. Xmas Smile

AllGoodNamesGone · 04/12/2010 16:15

Shock So not only were they going to have this girl learn the Cinderella part in 9 days, but they were going to have to train up a new Fairy Godmother too!

Mad!

Well done for standing up for yourselves and your daughter.

PercyPigPie · 04/12/2010 16:20

Bloody Hell ... this is a pantomime in itself.

I hope that the little hint (not by OP) as to which school this is, further up the thread, was accurate and that we can all avoid this nightmare school.

pantomimecow · 04/12/2010 17:33

The other girl's parents sound dreadful!
Unfortunately this sort of thing happens so much especially, in my experience, in children's sport.Teams are
1 Coaches kids
2 Coaches friend's kids
3 Size of house
4 Pushiness of parents
5 Very talented kids
6 Everyone else

SauvignonBlanche · 04/12/2010 18:13

Other Mum sounds barking! Shock

NonnoMum · 04/12/2010 18:18

As we thought, there were parental shenanigans around...

Poor Cinders 2. Glad she is happy as the Fairy Godmother.

Interesting comments from the music teacher.

Now watch Fairy Godmother's mother take her daughter out of the school and send her to Sylvia Young.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 04/12/2010 18:21

Shock Shock Well, at least now it's easy to see why your dd was originally ousted from the role- nothing to do with her absence and everything to do with this ridiculous HT and teacher pandering to this crazy (but rich) mother.

Am increasingly glad you put them all in their place- the whole thing is just madness!

monkeyflippers · 04/12/2010 19:01

Oh my God how did you not hit the other mum in the face?! She sounds like such an ars**ole! Hate pushy mums/people/anyone like that who have elevated ideas of their own self importance. Ergh she sounds horrible!

ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 19:14

Kate - what a nightmare! It is very good that you are so strong and stood up to her. It sounds like you were very calm and straighforward!

I'm glad Cinders2 is happy as well, poor little mite has enough to contend with at home, let alone all this at home!

How is DD feeling about it all now?

Have you rung the local school to see if they have any vacancies?

TurkeyMartini · 04/12/2010 19:16
Shock
Summerbird73 · 04/12/2010 19:21

sweet bejesus - well done you, and how sweet of Cinders2 to say that to your DD

MadamDeathstare · 04/12/2010 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 04/12/2010 20:00

So there it is, straight from the horse's mouth...

So sad for Cinders2 who will be stuck with her brazen mother until she can leave home, while your DD will be out of there in a few weeks -- please, please don't leave her there, in a school where apparently the HT can be bullied by money and prefers to see the parents fighting it out among themselves than asserting control, and where morale among the teachers must be about as low as morale could be.

ValiumSingleton · 04/12/2010 20:21

Wow. Glad cinders1 was reinstated, but I can't believe that the mother of cinders2 came right out and said that sh thought her dd should have the part because of all they'd done for the school!

I went to a private school and there was a rumour that somebody's parents had paid for a science lab, but that child wasn't given parts in plays, yes, the teachers definitely KNEW who he was, but the Cinders2's mother's sense of entitlement is straight from a sitcom!

DON;T pay the fees. FInd a new school in your own time and just carry on ignoring all the reminders. There were several students at my school whose parents never seemed to pay the fees! It took about two years on average for them to disappear.

ValiumSingleton · 04/12/2010 20:22

She sounds like Taylor Townsend's mom from the OC! - if anybody else watched that show.

CheerfulYank · 04/12/2010 20:43

What a horrid bunch of "adults"!

Good for you, kate! Way to advocate for your DD. Hope she has a lovely time as Cinderella and in her new and hopefully much improved school.