I am so angry!

[KateEllis]

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying

woo hoo OP, kepp us posted

I've just switched the computer on with the sole intention of checking this thread!

Fab news, bloody well done Mr. & Mr. KateEllis.

You should be FUCKING proud of yourselves!

some of you have got too giddy hyperbole has taken over enthusiastic support

this isnt as bad as physical abuse and the teachers shouldnt be banned working with children or removed - they should naturally account for their actions and cxonsider the impact of disapointing child and parents.

"The head and teacher in question should not be banned from ever working with children though - what they did is - just as bad as physical abuse, for which they would of course be banned.."

it was petty minded and most certainly not "mental abuse of the worst kind" at all. this statement is verging on the hysterical.It was resolved promptly by her parents, she has demonstrably seen they support her, plenty to discuss.without bandying terms like mental abuse

Unfortunately some children do experience real psychological trauma and it is resolved .thats is hard going, School play debacle will pass and its a funny anecdote not life changing

I am so glad your DD was reinstated, however I do feel for Cinders 2. There is now another 7 year old who was told she had the part then told she had been replaced. She must be very very upset.

The school teachers should be ashamed of themselves and I really hope they have found her something to do in the play.

Well done both. You CRRRUSHED them

I agree the governers should be made aware of the incident.

All the best to your DD for the big show.

I read the first few pages but don't have time to read them all! Just wanted to say that I think it is disgusting and I agree with everyone who said about contacting governers, local papers, even national papers (who sometimes like storied like this) as they way they have treated your daughter is disgusting! Did they really expect you to bring her in puking and pooing everywhere!

Your poor little girl :(

Good post scottishmummy. It was a horrible thing to happen, and I am as relieved as the others that she has been reinstated, but likening it to serious abuse is hurtful to those really suffering I'm afraid.

Well done you for sticking up for your daughter. Sadly not all children, who suffer a lot worse, have adults like you they can trust and rely one.

:)

I like the playground gossip idea, although all those 'looks' you observed during the meeting probably paint a thousand words.

Well done SM for putting a little perspective back into the thread.

OP how was today - did your DD do the erhersal as Cinderella? Did cinders 2 say anything to her - or worse the parents to you?

Actually, feel a bit sorry for Cinders2.

After all, it wouldn't have been HER idea to sack Cinders1. She is also a pawn in this game.

How are things today.

Well done on seeking justice and showing up the way they appear to do things.

I'd be tempted to still go to the relevant authorities and the papers anyway....

How did it go today KateE? Were there any repercussions?

I don't suppose it was anything to do with your DD's attendance, you know. That is so unreasonable that it cannot be the reason. My theory is that they realised they had another child who they believed would do the part better for some reason, possibly "encouraged" by that child's parents, and they were looking for an excuse to pass your DD over. It would explain why they didn't use the understudy.

Any developments today?

Of course people feel sorry for Cinders2 (and the poor understudy!), but that isn't the OP's doing - it's the schools and they should make it up to them all.

However, if this is the kind of thing Cinders1 parents pull all the time, this poor kid is going to be in for a lifetime of misery as she realises her parents do not, in fact, rule the world.

I do worry that when Cinders2 is dropped, Cinders1 may get the brunt of it from other kids if it becomes apparent that Mummy and Daddy interfered.

scottishmummy

''some of you have got too giddy hyperbole has taken over enthusiastic support''

-I think maybe we should all take a leaf out of KateEllis' book, she stood up for herself and we feel that justice has been achieved.

''this isnt as bad as physical abuse and the teachers shouldnt be banned working with children or removed - they should naturally account for their actions and cxonsider the impact of disapointing child and parents''

-Like most people, I trust teachers, well you have to don't you, but I wouldn't trust the teachers in question again if they are capable of making such shit decisions with vulnerable children in their care.

Well done KE.
I would love a tenth of your bravery! I would have just got really mad, then upset, then stewed and complained but not as strongly and as assertively as you had. Brilliant strategy.
It's a stand against poor schooling standards.

I thought scotmum's post was funny, and true. She wasn't saying the teachers didn't make a stupid mess of things; she was saying that comparing it to abuse is ludicrous. Which it is.

KateEllis how did it go today? I'm desperate for an update! I REALLY want to know the truth behind this. Hope you find out.

Hi sorry for no update, was in work.

When I dropped DC off in the morning, a woman caught up with me just after I was leaving and said - "I hope you are happy, you have upset my daughter and ruined the panto"

I said I was very sorry that her daughter was upset but really that was the schools fault, not mine, and my daughter had been very upset and she had been the one to learn all the lines etc. I also said I thought it would be a bit much to expect a 7 yo to learn everything in just over a week.

She was so ridiculous, and said was I saying her daughter wasn't up to playing Cinderella. Did I think it was only my daughter who was capable of such a role.

I said of course not, but if it had been my daughter to come home and say she had to learn everything in 9 days, I would no have been very happy about it.

She said her daughter receives private drama coaching and she would have easily learnt everything in time...she then went on to say that she was disgusted that after everything her husband had done for this school her daughter had not received the lead role originally.

I was so lost for words! I said that I thought that the roles children were given should be irrespective of how much the parents had financially contributes, as essentaily this could be construed as bribery.

She said her daughter was the far most talented actress in the school, and if I cared about the school I would want her daughter to play Cinderella.

I told her I really could not care less about the school and its reputation for good pantomimes. All I was concerned about is my daughters happiness, and the ridiculous injustice of punishing 7 yo for taking a sick day.

I left then as I had to go to work.

However when my DH picked the children up, the music teacher came running up to him. She said she had heard what had happened and thought it was absolutely terrible. (She had been on a course all week)
She said she was so glad my DD has been given her part back and she was doing so well.

She also said cinders 2, had previously been playing the fairy godmother and now had this part back, and all the children were really happy. She had over heard cinders 2 saying to my dd
"I never wanted to be Cinderella, I like my part as the fairy godmother, that was just my mum!"

oh my goodness! The mother sounds awful. Well done you for standing your ground.

Well her daughter can't be that talented an actress if she couldn't even get the main role with bribes generous donations from her parents.

I like a happy ending!

I think that Mothers attitude says a lot about the school and why it is good that you are not going to keep your DD there.

THis woman obviously went in guns blazingthat her child should have the main part, and reminded the school of her generosity.

Any decent Head would have told her where to go in the first place, and told her they were not open to bribery. THe fact that they clearly bent over backwards to accomodate this womans outrageous demands is really truly appalling. I also think you should name and shame the school.

OMG! I can't believe people like this (the mother) actually exist! I thought it was just in sitcoms. Jeez.

Tis both shocking and hilarious in equal measure.

Music teacher sounds lovely though!