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AIBU?

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Original poster

I am so angry!

523 replies

KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:36

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry Angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying Sad

OP posts:
gorionine · 03/12/2010 06:34

3 cheers for your family! You made us all proud!

Savoycabbage, your mum rock too!

StealthPolarBear · 03/12/2010 06:59

Well done Kate :o
Loved your story too savoy!

FreudianFoxSquishedByAPouffe · 03/12/2010 07:13

I still can't believe this sort of corruption happens tbh - it's 2010 FGS! I'm totally astounded.

Take this as high up as you can, Kate. Do NOT drop it - goodness knows what other kids have been treated like your DD. And keep us updated.

Animation · 03/12/2010 07:26

Freudian - I was also thinking about that this morning: - what an unethical, corrupt and self-serving PAIR these teachers are!!

Very depressing. I wouldn't be surprised KateEllis if your elation of last night might be get relaced with some flatness. Don't lose your faith in human nature - there's some fabulous teachers out there. Xmas Smile

altinkum · 03/12/2010 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jumpty · 03/12/2010 07:35

Well done you! I'm so pleased you got such a great result for your DD.

I know it seems petty considering how cruel they were to your DD but I am shocked at them not offering you and DH both a seat!

Bahhhumbug · 03/12/2010 07:38

Brilliant !!

Sounds like those two could play the ugly sisters - evil bitches - and without much rehearsing. God this is screaming to be a tabloid story - its got all the characters and ingredients. You are definitely the good fairy godmother Kate. Just need a Buttons now. Smile

laurielou · 03/12/2010 08:31

Well Done TeamEllis

Just such a shame it had to come to this.

secretsquirrel1 · 03/12/2010 08:44

Well done! Xmas Grin

Echo what everyone else has said....actions speak louder than words so good luck with getting DD a new school.

And please tell the Govenors/Ofstead/Health Dept et al about lack of policies - they need to know.

roundtable · 03/12/2010 09:00

Well done...I would name and shame. If it was a state school it would be all over the news as another indication that 'state schools are failing our children.' Just because it's private shouldn't make it about the law.

LatteLady · 03/12/2010 09:10

Well done - I hope that your daughter really enjoys the performances... nice to know that she really will go to the ball!

LizLemon · 03/12/2010 09:21

So impressed - you utterly rock.

LoopyLoops · 03/12/2010 09:28

Well done. I hope the decision remains and that you can find a better school immediately.

pantomimecow · 03/12/2010 09:31

I wouldn't have said the bit about leaving schoolbecause I think that they will give it back to Cinders 2 now.If you go to the papers now they could put about you threatening to pull your DC out of teh school if she doesn't get the part, which will make you look like a pushy unreasonable PFB mum (which of course you aren't) but papers DO twist things!

Animation · 03/12/2010 09:39

Pantomimecow. It would be hard to twist it though because Cinders 1 was given the part in September, then suddenly dropped - when she had a day off sick.

ShanahansRevenge · 03/12/2010 09:48

She did right to tell them she is leaving. She showed no fear and that she won't be trifled with. They have no cards left to play and she has them all!

They wont give it back to cinders 2 at all.

RunawayChristmasTree · 03/12/2010 09:55

WELL DONE YOU

granted · 03/12/2010 10:00

Bahhhumbug - so true!

Well done, OP - what a trult dreadful school - almost Dickensian in its awfulness.

Horrifying. Even more so when you think that you actually pay to send your daughter there?!

Give your daughter a huge hug from all severl hundred MNetters. She sounds like an absolute star - and so do you.

The head and teacher in question should be bannded from ever working with children though - what they did is mental abuse of the worst kind - just as bad as physical abuse, for which they would of course be banned..

Make sure all the other parents in the school playground know exactly how the school has behaved, in case (very likely) something similar happens to their DC.

lalalonglegs · 03/12/2010 10:26

I'm not sure this counts as "mental abuse of the worst kind" Hmm but it was unbelievably clumsy and badly thought out. Is there a playground gossip? You must immediately confide all the details in him/her and sit back and wait - I guarantee within a week you will have got the real explanation for what happened (plus several others beside Grin.

glitzy · 03/12/2010 10:46

Well done, lets hope that is the end of it Xmas Smile

ecuse · 03/12/2010 11:00

savoycabbage I think I want to marry your mum! Hooray for Cinders1, though Grin

pantomimecow · 03/12/2010 11:18

'Pantomimecow. It would be hard to twist it though because Cinders 1 was given the part in September, then suddenly dropped - when she had a day off sick.'

Only if they give all the facts!

ShanahansRevenge · 03/12/2010 11:38

I don't think the OP needs to go to the papers now though panto...and even if the school did twist things they would do anything to avoid such bad press....so it probably wont be an issue now.

MrsCratchit · 03/12/2010 12:11

Well done for standing up to the school on this.

I absolutely think you did the right thing, but also hope they give Cinders2 some form of compensation- although she only had the part for 24hrs, she's also only seven I presume and none of this was her fault. Terrible decision by school results in two young girls being really let down by adults Sad

MABS · 03/12/2010 12:37

well done! disgusting behaviour