to not tell my friend what her fiance got up to on his stag weekend?

[BottleOfRum]

Best friend is getting married to her partner of 5years. Have always thought they made a lovely couple.

DH, and a number of other mutual male friends went on the stag weekend. DH came home and said that the best man had organised strippers to turn up to the hotel room, and they hancuffed the groom-to-be to the bed, and one of the strippers gave groom-to-be a blow job.

I am absolutely disgusted by this. Mostly disgusted by the behaviour of the best man, who organised it, but also with all the men present, who must have been instrumental in handcuffing their friend to the bed. I can't believe how disrespectful it is to my friend who is getting married to him.

Now, since the groom-to-be was tied up, I don't blame him as much as the others - there is not much he could do apart from protest I would imagine.

If you knew this information, would you tell your best friend? My first thought was that its none of my business, and I wont mention it, but its been playing on my mind since, and I can imagine how hurt she would be with me if she knew I knew and didn't tell her.

Classy diva - have you ever heard of dental dams? They are basically condoms for the mouth, to prevent transmitting STDs via oral sex.

So there you go, you've learned something new.

Haven't read the whole thread... I would tell her, put yourself in her position, would you want her to tell you?

i agree, OP's DH is not sharing all the info.

"stupid, no my degree says otherwise."

:o

You should change your name to classydiveBA, just to make sure we all know how highly qualified you are.

Now, since the groom-to-be was tied up, I don't blame him as much as the others - there is not much he could do apart from protest I would imagine.

he could have said no and sure any stripper wouldnt assault a man with all his friends about

i blame the best man and all the men there, including your dh for allowing it to happen

Also: I want to hear more about itchy beards!

bupcakes - can you enlighten me?

Oh fgs. Let's not turn this into a 'you show me yours and I'll show you mine'

"I am 45 years old. I've lived, I have never asked anyone to take any test, Im free from any STD and have never had one.
I might have regrown my hymen in the past few years, but I certainly lived in my teens." Which was 30 bloody years ago you silly mare!

My DD is 20 and had a full STD check when entering into a new relationship with her boyfriend, as did he. They had both had other partners beforehand - all her friends do exactly the same thing, her Uni positively encourages it and it's very sensible that they do.
If I was the OP, I would be far more interested in my husband's involvement than anything else.

lequeen, you are being very norty

once you say anything you cant take it back.

i most definitely wouldnt say anything- what she doesnt know cant hurt her- you cant be sure what happened you have only got what your dh says that groom says happened. it might have been worse, it might never have happened but groom didnt want to look wuss in front of his friends.

seriously, keep out of it. you will not be thanked by anyone

spidookly www.inthe90s.com/generated/terms.shtmlHere See Beards/Chinny: False, bullshit. Said when you don't believe someone. Usually accompanied by scratching the chin.

risingstar And if one day she does find out, and also finds out that her best friend knew before the marriage, would you say that would hurt her?

How could you look your friend in the eye if you didnt tell her?

You need to tell her what your DH told you. She can then confront her fiance and find out the truth, whatever that might be.

Before you tell your friend ask your DH if there is anything else he would like to tell you.

Be prepared to be unpopular for a while, but better that than watching your friend get married with secrets around. She may decide to get married anyway but she needs to be able to make an informed choice.

"it might never have happened but groom didnt want to look wuss in front of his friends."
You what? How old is he, 12?

If that is true, he's a pathetic loser who won't make a decent husband or father in any case.

Classy? haven't you got a little blog to update, more lives to make up, hands to shave?

"OP's DH is not sharing all the info." top quote a few saying similar.

I don't necessarily think this is the case, most blokes I know would just blurt this kind of shit out without thinking. Not thinking that it was too bad etc...

I fear we are in danger here of putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 5. If we take OP's H version of events, it's bad enough, and a good enough starting place. Think OP has to sit her H down and get the proper version of events, and them take stock.

BottleofRum, do you know any of the other Ps of the blokes that were at this stag do? could you have a subtle ask around and see if anyone else's partner has said anything?

Why, of course, Spidookly.

Adversecamber -did you dh watch or walk out in disgust?

To be blunt, had the groom said to the strippers, 'Stop' I am pretty certain that they would have done.
These women were working, remember (in a job that suits them so it's their choice). All the same, they'd get paid either way. So if a guy says, 'stop' I should imagine that they would have done.

Have you driven Classy off?

Some big brave bully posters on this thread I see, and one or two crying for acceptance.

In terms of risk to the groom of getting an STD from this one encounter, she was bang on the money.

What is most revealing about this thread is the absolute nieve view that most stag do's are not like this.