to not tell my friend what her fiance got up to on his stag weekend?

[BottleOfRum]

Best friend is getting married to her partner of 5years. Have always thought they made a lovely couple.

DH, and a number of other mutual male friends went on the stag weekend. DH came home and said that the best man had organised strippers to turn up to the hotel room, and they hancuffed the groom-to-be to the bed, and one of the strippers gave groom-to-be a blow job.

I am absolutely disgusted by this. Mostly disgusted by the behaviour of the best man, who organised it, but also with all the men present, who must have been instrumental in handcuffing their friend to the bed. I can't believe how disrespectful it is to my friend who is getting married to him.

Now, since the groom-to-be was tied up, I don't blame him as much as the others - there is not much he could do apart from protest I would imagine.

If you knew this information, would you tell your best friend? My first thought was that its none of my business, and I wont mention it, but its been playing on my mind since, and I can imagine how hurt she would be with me if she knew I knew and didn't tell her.

sparklystockings - what if the knowledge stopped your marrying a dickhead??

I have to say, this is the kind of tale that causes DH to tie himself up in knots and fall flat on his face under my Stasi-like cross examination.

mj, how do you know OP's partner doesn't want her to say anything? she hasn't said whether he wants her to keep schtum or not.

Apart from anything else - she needs to get herself tested. If he has given her something & she doesn't get tested and ends up infertile because of it - how are you going to feel then?

I wouldn't tell my best friend, definitely not. But it would haunt me forever. What a fucking awful cross to bear.

OP if I were you I would be FURIOUS with my husband. Beyond spitting bloody mad to have put me in such a position.

On top of that I would be seriously doubting his sanitised (if you can call a blow job by a hooker sanitised) version of events and wondering about his involvement.

AND before you tell her & do anything else, have another word with your DH. Tell him that you are going to tell her (if he doesn't like it - tough shit, he should have thought about that before putting you in this position) and tell him that you want to know everything now because if you find out anything else once this hits the fan - he will be looking for somewhere else to live.

The photos you have don't prove anything.

No time to read all posts (sorry) but op, you could consider speaking to the GTB directly in a "I know about this and if you don't fess up yourself, I will have to tell her" way.

Apologies if that has already been rejected as a strategy.

Horrid situation. I agree with Unrulysun.

X posted with LeQueen, but we are both singing from same hymn sheet.

Your husband has actually inadvertently rocked his own marriage, in my opinion (well it would mine).

I think the thing is she is your best friend, not just a casual acquaintance.

I'd rather lose a best friend, but her know what is being said / claimed behind her back.

Than stay friends, but she be deceived about this when she is about to marry this man.

Even if she chooses not to believe or he is making it up, it's her call and decision to find out and do what she needs to do.

"are you insinuating that the op is an interfering busybody?"

Yes. She was told a secret in confidence and had taken it on herself to act. She wasnt even there and it could all be bullshit.

This is one for sweeping under the carpet if ever there was one.

Problem is, if OP does that then there wont be quite the drama afterwards. Not nearly as much fun to keep quiet as watching a hurt couple go through the motions at their wedding day. Can you imagine the drunken public rows at the reception afterwards? Lovely.

At the same time her DH will loose a friend in the groom (though I suspect they arent very good friends if he brought stag do stories home, though perhaps he just trusts his wife)

In the end - there can be no good come out of telling the bride. What happened was on a stag do, organised by someone else, and there are many pressures in play.

Now had this been a story of groom organising blowjobs for himself - then it would be a different matter.

TBH, did this actually happen?

Strippers are not prostitutes and if they WERE going to give the added bonus of a blow job, then I expect they would be demanding some extra payment!

Are you sure the groom is not just bigging himself up?

"ccpccp comes out with all kinds of crap - best to just ignore it really." - ChippingIn

With all respect - argue the points or STFU.

I have to say I totally agree with ccpccp's first post.

The OP was told in confidence. Can't be easy for her husband/partner being with someone you have to keep things from or everybody has to be told, us included.

why do people say, "with all respect" before being rude? there is no respect intended. it's like saying "no offence, but..."

Wow.

Divisive stuff.

Are you sure the groom is not just bigging himself up?

No the stripper done that.

YOu do get strippers who do extras. They were more than likely paid upfront a score for the suckie.

she DESERVES to know. and hopefully if she has got ONE OUNCE of sense she will not marry this arse of a "man"