to not 'do' santa?

[jmt2211]

I don't believe in Santa and refuse to lie to my child about it. The first year he could ask about it was when he was 3 and I just said that lots of people liked to believe in Santa but really he was just pretend.
I have yet to find a single person who has done the same, even if I can get them to agree in principle, no one will agree in practice. I'd love to hear what others think (other than that I am a Scrooge) and see if anyone agrees with me....

I agree about it being a wind up.

my dd is 9 and did believe in FC until about 2 years ago and her christmas hasnt even been slightly ruined by stopping believing nor does she think we were terrible parents for "lying" to her!

in fact she desperately wants her little brothers to believe in it like she did.

but i'm going to hell probably in your eyes JMT - i organised for ds1 and ds2 (6 & 4) to have video messages today from FC!!! the looks on their faces were priceless!

not sure your ds will have such a priceless look on his face when presented with all the brutal truths you feel compelled to tell him - not just about FC (did you really tell hime dead people in the ground rot and are eaten by worms???) .

I genuinely feel very, very sad for your little boy

you seem to use newbie as a term of disdain this speaks volumes to me.

I am going to enjoy an evening in my home with people who may not agree with my views but who are able to discuss them without abusing me.

I think that those who cannot argue their point without abuse highlight a distinct lack of intellect. Although I have said controversial things I have not personally attacked nor abused anyone. You are a nasty lot of bullies.
This newbie is leaving the building.

Thank you for your input.

JMT - I am going to venture a bit of amateur psychology here...it sounds like you have 'done' the Santa thing in your house, against your own personal judgement, and now you feel uncomfortable about it.
You feel like you have lied to your child in playing along with the Santa deception up to the point when you told your child the truth, and now you are transfering this accusation of lying onto other parents - both here and through what you tell your son. And people are reacting strongly because no one likes to be called a liar.

If you've done stockings etc... you must have played along with the Santa deception to some extent. I can't imagine that what you've said when you've hung up stockings is ''now in the night mum and dad will fill up your stocking' , or in the morning said 'oh my goodness look Dad ate the carrot pretending to be a reindeer'.

YANBU to not do Santa. Billions of children live without Xmas stockings to no ill effect. But parents who play the game ANBU either. Its really not a big deal either way. What you are being a bit silly about is half heartedly adopting a tradition you feel so uncomfortable about. Why not while your kid(s) are still young give up on the whole stocking thing, and invent your own family tradition that have nothing to do with the big man at all?

P

jmt - your choice but I have a feeling your DS will miss out.

My two boys are just in raptous heaven because the christmas fairies brought them the wooden advent calender (all the way from the loft) because they made snow angels in the snow.

The look of amazment and happiness that it worked was something so sweet, they haven't 'got' anything, there are no toys or choccies on the way, but just the idea of 'magic' to them makes them so enthralled.

We did the same with DSS now aged 14 who loves the memories and talks with wistfullness of those days!

sorry forgot to say

basically as this thread shows there is a small chance that your ds will be sad when finds out 'the truth' but a much greater probability that he will love believing in fc. So if you are a gambler your odds don't look good.

i think we can safely conclude that in answer to your question, "am i being unreasonable" the consensus was yes.

where is that bitchfest?

Love your name! Very apt

Who would have thought, and all over the most innocuous of subjects!

Go us!
Such bitches!

i think the phrase was that you were a nasty bunch of bullies

I've read about half the thread and I think YABU.

It is not a good idea to tell your child other children's parents lie to them. That will cause all sorts of problems and over an issue like this shows no respect for the way others choose to engage in cultural norms for our society.

I also think there is a real risk your child will ruin FC for someone else at some point. My 3 year old was unable to resist telling me what she and her brother had bought me for my birthday, thus "spoiling" the surprise (although I wasn't bothered and her brother fortunately didn't realise she'd let on).

My 5 year old has been known to deliberately and with intent tell his sister things I have asked him not to share with her so as, for example, not to spoil a surprise.

Both are intelligent, generally nice well-behaved children, as I'm sure your DC is. So how will you ensure that they will never tell another child that Santa is bollocks and their parents are lying to them ? Children let things slip, or when they're a little older have squabbles and are deliberately nasty to each other. Way to go you for being so principled that your child misses out on one big element of our culture around Christmas and may well wreck it for some other children too . what a fabulous parent you are .

i think it's become pretty clear that the OP doesn't give a toss about other parents or children brolly so those sensible words are a bit wasted.

Ah, yes I see . Slow as ever, me .

Wow- the Santa arguement is still raging, huh?

piscesmoon- I am flattered (and a bit !) that you remembered my magic powers! I believe really strongly in having lots of little magical things in a child's life, and my feeling is that this view must have been held for years with all the myths and traditions that still abound.

The innocence of children is a truly beautiful thing, IMO. It is what makes them special and sets them apart from the jaded and cynical adults in the world. They have such a short space of time in which to revel in the world of magic, while slowly learning to adjust to the often harsh realities in life. I soo enjoyed my childhood, with parents who embraced that magic for themselves again, and took joy in my pleasure. I find it really hard to understand how a child could hold the fantasy-found-out against their parents, unless the parents do it in such a way that makes the child feel belittled and left out. With my parents, I felt like they were enjoying the ride with me, as I do with my children.

My parents definitely had magic powers. And happily I have inherited them. The children are anxious to see if they too will inherit in such a way (but have warned them they might get DH's super powers instead)

I guess I don't really care what happens in other families, if I'm honest. But I'm not keen on being disapproved of and looked down upon for throwing myself wholeheartedly into something that makes my children so happy! It seems like people have a pretty fixed stance on this, so to each their own, eh?

JMT what did you think of my suggestion of celebrating George "I cannot tell a lie" Washington's birthday instead - that could celebrate your values and perhaps others would join you and you'd feel less got at?

*WriterofDreams" they aren't equally harmless, even if, IMO, they are equally harmless.

If you can tell me the last war waged in the name of Santa, or where the writings of Santa have been used to justify oppression, hatred, and discrimination, then I will cultivate a belief in a mythical god.
Until then, I'm happy for my children to enjoy the harmless and fun myth of Santa.

I don't care whether others do, my point is that the OP is bullshitting as to why, and is exceedingly rude.