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Original poster

to not 'do' santa?

8 replies

jmt2211 · 30/11/2010 21:27

I don't believe in Santa and refuse to lie to my child about it. The first year he could ask about it was when he was 3 and I just said that lots of people liked to believe in Santa but really he was just pretend.
I have yet to find a single person who has done the same, even if I can get them to agree in principle, no one will agree in practice. I'd love to hear what others think (other than that I am a Scrooge) and see if anyone agrees with me....

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MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 02/12/2010 21:25

Hello. Please can we remind you all of our Talk Guidelines

Yes, we WILL delete posts that are a personal attack once they are reported to us.

We welcome robust and forthright debate but, as we say in our Note at the top of every AIBU thread: "Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks."

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 02/12/2010 21:37

missmoopy : it's fine to stand by your opinion; but not fine to attack someone personally. Trust you understand

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 02/12/2010 22:02

It's possible, maryz.

But equally posters have a right to be treated civilly - even on AIBU and no matter how, um, interesting their opinions Smile - and it's not unreasonable of them to report personal attacks. Especially if they are a newbie...

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 02/12/2010 22:16

Please do report any other posts which you think are personal attacks and we'd be happy to take a look.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 02/12/2010 22:33

@maryz

Do you think we should report every one of the op's posts and say we find them offensive Xmas Grin.

On the other hand, that would make the thread unreadable so it might be deleted, which is, I suspect, what she wants.

Helen, I really think that you should look at your requirement for something to be offensive.

"you are an idiot".

"you sound like a twit"

"in my opinion that wasn't a very nice thing to do"

"What a stupid thing to say"

"You were behaving like a real bitch".

Can all those go, if reported?

You might as well go to netmums.

Sorry, I really don't want to be pedantic, but really

Hi Maryz - yes a lot of those count as personal attacks in our book so we would delete them if reported. We don't have many rules but that's one of them, and has been so on MN for the last decade. Whether it's in AIBU or not if you call someone and idiot/twat/bitch you're being personal and it's an attack. Of course you have every right to sad they are BU and explain why you think so but we find if people stray into the personal the conversation usually rapidly deteriorates, so that's why we have the rule.
Hope that clarifies a bit. Peace and goodwill and all that Xmas Smile.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 02/12/2010 22:43

@maryz

I've just had an idea.

Can you just remove the offensive bit of the post.

So my first deleted post (which sent this all mad) read:

"Your last few posts have made you out to be a right pompous ass Grin

"My child is not disappointed now nor will he be in the future, you kids will and not just about santa" is a really stupid thing to say. All children will be disappinted by various things at some stage in their lives.

I presume you will sit watching videos and telling them that characters aren't real, that you will only read factual books not novels, in case they believe the books are real hmm.

Father Christmas in most families is a bit of fun. If you don't want to do it, fine, don't, but don't think you are in some way better than everyone else because you aren't "lying" to your child. What a load of bollox."

So you could have deleted the first pompous ass sentence. I really don't believe it was offensive enough to be deleted. And certainly the rest of the post wasn't offensive at all (I think). So there was no need for deletion.

Maybe you need a "message edited by mumsnet to remove offensive part" or "message deleted because the op didn't like it".

That would be more accurate.

Actually on reflection we probably shouldn't have deleted the "your posts are making you sound like a pompous ass" and wouldn't usually because it's discursive rather than at direct attack. So apologies for that. But there were lots of fairly hostile posts towards the OP who was new and fairly upset about it. And has left MN never to return. Just so you know...

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 02/12/2010 22:45

[quote maryz]

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 02/12/2010 22:57

Well yes, that's a fair point about the first deletion Maryz - that said I think it's never a bad time to remind folk on the AIBU board of our rules on personal attacks Xmas Wink.

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