to not 'do' santa?

[jmt2211]

I don't believe in Santa and refuse to lie to my child about it. The first year he could ask about it was when he was 3 and I just said that lots of people liked to believe in Santa but really he was just pretend.
I have yet to find a single person who has done the same, even if I can get them to agree in principle, no one will agree in practice. I'd love to hear what others think (other than that I am a Scrooge) and see if anyone agrees with me....

My DD will be 5 this christmas and has spent the last 2 years asking some fairly searching questions about how FC gets in the flat (we don't have a chimney), how he carries all the presents, knows that she's been good, knows what she wants etc. (although this helped out this year www.royalmail.com/portal/rm/jump1?catId=1000002&mediaId=80800761&campaignid=santa ). I'm not sure I can keep it up much longer because I do end up telling outright lies and it feels a bit weird. But I don't want to ruin the magic too soon or run the risk of her telling other children!

I don't think you can hope to have the magic if your parents didn't let you have the joy. I can tell that your house won't be a lot of fun for a child Eldritch-not being bothered is so sad. If you can't be bothered for a small DC -who can you be bothered for?

It must be a very empty existence for you and your family- why do children need to be told the truth about everything? The harsh realities of life are learnt all too soon- they won't think any better of you in the future for telling them every little truth at 3 years old. There is a difference between a genuine honesty and trust between you and your children, and the simplistic attitude to this you have adopted. It is just stupid. You will find yourself hurting your child through your own misguided morals. I don't want my mother to tell me the truthful answer to every question I ask because the truth can hurt and it is not always the best to know.

I think some parents don't want santa to get all the credit

Nah! he's not my type.

"FC doesn't exist but some parents allow their kids to believe he does, same with god. If it's okay to let kids think there is a god why isn't it okay to let kids think there is a FC?"

But Tyra plenty of people tell their children that God doesn't exist and that seems quite acceptable here on MN, so why is it so unacceptable for some parents to tell their children that FC doesn't exist?

As for not spoiling it for other children, plenty of children in school say that they don't believe in God but I don't kick off if they tell my DC that, I just explain that different people believe different things.

Why is FC different?

Most older children / teenagers dont go around telling younger children its not real, do they? why do you think that is?

i suggest its because they remember the fun of believing and dont want to spoil it. our oldest LOVES pretending for the sake of her younger siblings

Most small children believe that Santa, the easter Bunny, Thomas the tank engine, Fifi and the flowertots, chuggington, Noddy etc are real too. They all seem to survive finding out that they are not.

Remember that once they are teenagers they KNOW that everything you tell them is wrong anyway

Pisces-back right off. We may not agree on this issue but for you to extrapolate from that that I cannot be bothered for or with my child is really really unjustified and annoying.
I have no sympathy with or affinity for this FC thing, just like to OP. But my child does not lack for joy and wonder and nothing in my life is more important to me than him.

Only on MN would you find these sort of kill joys parents, no one I've ever met in real life has had a problem with their children believing in FC

oh 2 posts deleted on one thread Maryz ...way to go

Santa would put you on his naughty list though

usual I'm not generally a kill joy but I'm half English and spent my early childhood abroad where FC didn't feature. It's just not my thing (it doesn't feel like part of my culture) and I can't do it with any conviction. I'm not going to stop DH doing it.

I know that if I was a DC I would prefer my Christmas with JoolyJoolyJoo who has magic powers. It beats those who can't be bothered or feel a 3 yr old has to know the 'truth'.

the claim that I can't be bothered is silly. I have been accused on here on taking it too seriously; maybe the lazy ones are the ones who can't be bothered to challenge society as to why we do this

Is it just me, or is the OP not actually acknowledging posters who agree (or at least partially agree) with her?

jmt2211 is on a wind up if you ask me

of course I'm not a wind up! Why would I?

When ScarlettCrossbones first agreed with me I thanked her. In a lot of ways we agree but she doesn't take it as far as me. I choose not to point out these differences to that I could keep a friend or two.

I think it is quite courageous for people to come out and say they agree with me considering the huge social unacceptability of our way of think, highlighted by the backlash I have received on here. I still stand by all that I have said so far and may or may not have the strength to continue to fight my corner.

Apologies OP, you did thank ScarlettCrossbones.

But other people (including me) who have gone some way to agreeing with you have just been totally ignored while you argue with those who completely disagree.

Which is often (but not always) the sign of a wind up.

look, I said their parents were just pretending which is what more people are claiming to do. I think it's lying but if calling it pretending make you feel better then crack on.
But does this differnce between pretnding and lying sit apply when it's your kids. My child told me he didn't have any homework this week, which he did. He then said he was only pretending...he wasn't pretending he was lying and I said so to him.

domesticsluttery- this is, believe it or not, my first thread on MN so I am unaware of the protocol. If I was a wind-up presumable I would think of a clever way not to look like one. It is quite hard not to respond when people are saying how sorry they feel for your child, calling you heartless, cruel and worse. I take my parenting quite seriously and have come to this santa decision after long thought including a time where I thought I would just go along with it. When it came down to it I couldn't follow through with just going along with the crowd. People have come up with several examples of when I could/should tell the truth or not and I have been able to answer that I would still tell the truth. Now when I wouldn't tell the truth if my child drew a picture that was ugly--I wouldn't tell him so because in that instance I think my child's self-esteem is more important.

OK, well let me help you with the protocol as you are a newbie.

AIBU is not the best place to post if you don't want people to disagree with you.

You get more supportive replies if you engage with the people who agree or at least partially agree with you, rather than spending all of your time arguing with those who disagree.

You will probably get called a lot worse than pompous ass at some point.

Welcome to MN